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Can i forget everyone before uni and just make new friends there?

Basically, school and college have been pretty lackluster with a severe lack of any real close or supporting friends. I have a couple, one of which is going to the same place, but apart from that i'd like a clean break from the past.

Do you make enough friends at uni that carry into later life, or are they friends that last 3-years? Much like college friends potentially only last 2 years etc.

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after freshers.....you will have friends for life :biggrin:
Reply 2
Original post by infernalcradle
after freshers.....you will have friends for life :biggrin:


What if you don't drink. ;/
Original post by 0906079
What if you don't drink. ;/


I don't....but I don't intend to let that stop me :biggrin:
Reply 4
I did pretty much because all the people I knew at school turned out not to be real friends anyway. Not everyone I've met over the last 4 years at uni can be described as friends for life but I definitely have made some whilst I've been there.
Reply 5
Original post by Krydel
Do you make enough friends at uni that carry into later life, or are they friends that last 3-years? Much like college friends potentially only last 2 years etc.


Definitely the latter - you see so many different people at university that it's impossible to keep track of all of them once you finish, as you will all be doing different things in different places. I've made a few friends for life but not the hundreds and hundreds, along with a lifelong spouse, that people would have you believe you'll end up with.

Your school friends, and people you grew up with, are your true friends for life as you have spent more time with them and had their (mostly) undivided attention. 3-4 years of posing and social jousting does not a lifelong friendship make.
(edited 13 years ago)
Reply 6
Original post by 0906079
What if you don't drink. ;/


My worry exactly :redface:
Original post by ch0llima
Definitely the latter - you see so many different people at university that it's impossible to keep track of all of them once you finish, as you will all be doing different things in different places. I've made a few friends for life but not the hundreds and hundreds, along with a lifelong spouse, that people would have you believe you'll end up with.

Your school friends, and people you grew up with, are your true friends for life as you have spent more time with them and had their (mostly) undivided attention. 3-4 years of posing and social jousting does not a lifelong friendship make.


People negged this, but it's undeniably true.

I've met a hell of a lot of people even though I've lived at home - my first year was pretty hectic. The people that I'm currently in touch with or know of who are neglecting their degree and are generally just 'living in the moment' have their friends, but their contact diminishes drastically over the summer period when everyone goes back home. I would be surprised if these guys stayed friends for life, since they all have their underlying issues and resentment towards their friends.

It seems to me that most people find their best friends either from pot luck at school/uni, and then have a far better chance of finding friends for life once they're holding down a job.

The reason for this is simple. People grow up after university, and understand that life gets rough and people need their time to sort out their life, whilst remaining in contact because they know it'll do them good, rather than the university mentality of 'I want to get wasted, I'll call the girls around'. It's far more emphasis on emotional support than it is having fun. Of course, there are obvious exceptions.

All in all, I'd have to say, just don't worry about it. Friends come and go, and so do relationships - some people have more frequent encounters than others, but it doesn't make them any more human than you. Concentrate on what you want out of life, and don't worry about what other people think if it does come to it, which it probably won't.
Yes. It's very easy and I've done so with everyone except 2 of my friends from school. You think 3 years at uni is a very short time but you're basically living with these people so it's not a problem as you know them far better than you would any school friends.
It will probably be the same as in school/college or better. The people in uni who don't have any friends are seriously weird.
Reply 10
Luck of the draw, I'm afraid.

I have 'friends for life' from both school and uni, and had 'temporary' friends at both too.

One thing that makes holding on to uni friends harder is geography. If you come from all different parts of the country and then go back to them or disperse afterwards then its hard to maintain a friendship that was based mainly on proximity.

Your best chance is to befriend people on your course because you're more likely to have common interests, or join societies/clubs that you're genuinely interested in.
Reply 11
You can if you want.
Reply 12
I realised a few months before I left for uni that the people I spent time with at school weren't really my friends; I was constantly trying to impress them and 'fit in' which made me insecure. When I started uni, I stopped trying to impress people for the sake of it and made friends who appreciated me the way I am. I expect I'll lose contact with all but a few of them after I graduate, but that's life.
Reply 13
Original post by wanderlust.xx
People negged this, but it's undeniably true.

Indeed, with further research showing that the people who have negged me aren't even at university yet, let alone graduated as I have :rolleyes: Sorry, folks - if you're not at least a current or former university student your opinion on this is irrelevant, because you don't know any better. Welcome to reality.

(As for the rest of what you have said, it's all 100% true and I urge people to read over your post again as well as mine :smile:)
Reply 14
Even in this global internet age, your main friends at any given moment in time are still decided almost entirely by geography. While you're at school it will be your school friends, at university it will be your uni friends, and after you leave, you won't keep in touch with either of them that often, certainly not as much as you think you will - unless you happen to live in the same town as them.

There are very, very few people you will remain close friends with once you have moved to different cities. I have about 4 oldish friends I still see on a semi-regular basis who don't currently live in the same city as I do, and that's probably more than most people have. A friendship that actually lasts 10+ years is pretty rare frankly.
Meh, my parents have several friends that they've known from their university years :dontknow:
I have made tons of Facebook friends at uni but have no friends to go out with socially...I'm a mature student living at home though.
Original post by ch0llima
Indeed, with further research showing that the people who have negged me aren't even at university yet, let alone graduated as I have :rolleyes: Sorry, folks - if you're not at least a current or former university student your opinion on this is irrelevant, because you don't know any better. Welcome to reality.

(As for the rest of what you have said, it's all 100% true and I urge people to read over your post again as well as mine :smile:)


Yes, but you're just one person.Your experience can't be applied to everyone.
Reply 18
Original post by infernalcradle
after freshers.....you will have friends for life :biggrin:


Not necessarily.

People who aren't at uni have so many misconceptions about it. They think they're just going to make loads of instant friends and have so much fun etc etc. A lot of it isn't true.


University is really just like your life has been up until now just with less money, more work and without your mum telling you to get up in the morning.
Original post by fran.ha
Not necessarily.

People who aren't at uni have so many misconceptions about it. They think they're just going to make loads of instant friends and have so much fun etc etc. A lot of it isn't true.


University is really just like your life has been up until now just with less money, more work and without your mum telling you to get up in the morning.



:frown:

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