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How do you tell Muslim parents you are gay?

I'm gay and my parents are strict muslims and want me to get married to a muslim girl. They are extremely homophobic. I do not know what to do.

Reply 1

Potential Trigger

12

But surely Allah made you this way? You can't help how you feel. Stay true to who you are, you may end up being disowned but no point leading a false trapped life.

Reply 2

mynameisq

7

I think you are not supposed to act on it, the being gay alone isn't a sin.

Reply 3

Aminaubah

11

Original post by Anonymous

I'm gay and my parents are strict muslims and want me to get married to a muslim girl. They are extremely homophobic. I do not know what to do.

They haven't realised, wow. You are in a very difficult situation. It might take them time to get over it, but lets face it, they can't hate you forever. Btw, you do realise like that 'muslim' and 'gay' are an oxymoron? :K:

Reply 4

Aminaubah

11

Original post by mynameisq

I think you are not supposed to act on it, the being gay alone isn't a sin.

That's true, the acting on it is extremely forbidden.

Reply 5

Harrifer

15

As far as I'm aware, the Islamic view is that homosexuality is a mental disorder that can be 'cured'.

I'm sorry to hear about your parents, and I hope your relationship with them stays together.

Reply 6

Zazza

I think you should talk to your parents about it. But I mean in Islam it's a sin only if you act on it. I guess you can't help your feelings but the talk to your parents and try to do it gently.

Don't just say "I'm gay and there's nothing you can do about it!" That's kind of like the worst approach. Just speak to them about how you're uncomfortable about getting married at the moment because of your situation.

Reply 7

User570431

15

Original post by Anonymous

I'm gay and my parents are strict muslims and want me to get married to a muslim girl. They are extremely homophobic. I do not know what to do.

Unlucky m8 all I can say....(about your parents)
Soon as you grow up ... leave!
Better to have a happy life then a fake one.

Don't.

Are you a strict muslim?

Reply 10

tieyourmotherdown

14

I guess whatever way, it'll suck, but just remember that they're still your parents. You'd be surprised how forgiving they may be when they realize that you're still their son, even if it does take time.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Zazza

I think you should talk to your parents about it. But I mean in Islam it's a sin only if you act on it. I guess you can't help your feelings but the talk to your parents and try to do it gently.

Don't just say "I'm gay and there's nothing you can do about it!" That's kind of like the worst approach. Just speak to them about how you're uncomfortable about getting married at the moment because of your situation.

I personally don't believe in Islam, therefore I most likely will be acting upon it. :rolleyes:

thats another problem in itself.

Reply 12

tieyourmotherdown

14

Original post by bluebell100

Don't.

And what good does that do? Him not telling them won't change the fact that he is gay. They're going to have to find out sooner or later.

Reply 13

bacforever3

12

Original post by Anonymous

I'm gay and my parents are strict muslims and want me to get married to a muslim girl. They are extremely homophobic. I do not know what to do.

Either way, you cant marry a girl because it wouldnt be fair on her, whilst you would be trapped.

I dont know how happy you would be not having them know, whilst constantly refusing the pressure of marriage so perhaps, over a lengthy period, gradually discuss what todays society know of sexual orientation, whilst also considering what the Qu'ran says about feelings, sex and acceptable sexual practise.

http://www.missionislam.com/knowledge/homosexuality.htm

Might help, has the opinions of some leaders on the matter, and just remember, in every culture there is a degree of generation difference where parents dont understand the world of their children and the ethics/beliefs/practises that they live with.

Just dont completely try to satisfy their world for the sake of your own happiness.

Reply 14

ihaveyourcat

9

Well you can either:
Tell them you're gay but not act on it and marry the girl anyway
Don't tell them you're gay and marry the girl
Tell them you're gay and that you cannot pretend to be something you are not

As people have pointed out already, the first 2 options would be deeply unfair on the girl not to mention you would be unhappy as well. It is a very tricky situation OP, I hope things work out for you.

Reply 15

bacforever3

12

Original post by Anonymous

I personally don't believe in Islam, therefore I most likely will be acting upon it. :rolleyes:

thats another problem in itself.

Yeeaah... perhaps leave this information out? Just for a while, especially if you still live in their house.

Reply 16

sherlllll

8

Don't do it. Even if you think you're gay it's entirely up to you whether you act on it or not. Please have the strength of character to respect your religion and not act upon these urges.

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 17

User570431

15

They will outcast you from Islam. This is the truth as harsh as it may sound.
Don't let them break your feelings.

Reply 18

Zazza

Original post by Anonymous

I personally don't believe in Islam, therefore I most likely will be acting upon it. :rolleyes:

thats another problem in itself.

Well, then just don't put a girl into a difficult situation by marrying her.
And good luck with telling your parents.

Reply 19

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by sherlllll

Don't do it. It's up to you whether you act on it or not. Please have the strength of character to respect your religion and not act upon these urges.

Its not my religion, I've been pretending ever since and I don't want to disappoint my parents because they have done so much for me.

How do you tell Muslim parents you are gay?

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