I feel like... well, I don't know.
Sorry if this is going to be miles too long but I need to try and explain myself.
I put on a lot of weight when I started uni as I hated living in halls. I lost about a stone in 2nd year, stayed roughly the same in 3rd year and through final year it had crept back up a bit.
So I've been on Weight Watchers (not going to meetings, just working out my own points with a calculator) for just over a week and it's already working well, and I intend to stick to it. I don't think I'm gigantic, 5'8 and size 18/20 so not some big round ball but definitely far too big.
But through all this time I've become more and more depressed, because I know it's all my fault, nobody has been forcing me to stuff my face etc. A lot of the time I feel double my size and absolutely disgusting- to the point where I question why even my best friends and my family would want to even be anywhere near me, never mind talk to me.
Yesterday my lecturer called me by the name of a girl in a lower year and said it was because I looked like her. And then someone who knows her piped up and went "yeah! it's because you both wear glasses and have similar hair!!". I was already suspicious, "...bet it's because she's fat". So I looked her up on facebook. HUGE mistake. I was right, and she even does look like me. I've looked through the pictures of her and I'm almost positive she's bigger than me but I have no scale of reference for myself. Don't get me wrong, I'm not judging her, she seems confident in herself and that's fantastic.
So now after being in a tremendously good mood yesterday, feeling confident about myself for ONE DAY, and that's all I get these days, I'm sitting here crying (and in case you're wondering, no I haven't stuffed my face) and wondering what to do with myself. This happens a lot, I even made myself cry on a bus the other week just by thinking about how horrible I was compared to everyone on the bus. But I don't want to go to the doctor and get diagnosed as depressed because I'd be too ashamed to tell anyone. And I don't want his help losing weight because this is working out well for me and if I feel like it's someone else controlling what I eat I'll stop doing it.
If you've read all of that you have my eternal gratitude. And if you have any nuggets of advice/encouragement that would be great.
tl;dr: fat. depressed. losing weight and finally determined to stick to it. but still depressed. don't want to admit to doctor. what do?
I put on a lot of weight when I started uni as I hated living in halls. I lost about a stone in 2nd year, stayed roughly the same in 3rd year and through final year it had crept back up a bit.
So I've been on Weight Watchers (not going to meetings, just working out my own points with a calculator) for just over a week and it's already working well, and I intend to stick to it. I don't think I'm gigantic, 5'8 and size 18/20 so not some big round ball but definitely far too big.
But through all this time I've become more and more depressed, because I know it's all my fault, nobody has been forcing me to stuff my face etc. A lot of the time I feel double my size and absolutely disgusting- to the point where I question why even my best friends and my family would want to even be anywhere near me, never mind talk to me.
Yesterday my lecturer called me by the name of a girl in a lower year and said it was because I looked like her. And then someone who knows her piped up and went "yeah! it's because you both wear glasses and have similar hair!!". I was already suspicious, "...bet it's because she's fat". So I looked her up on facebook. HUGE mistake. I was right, and she even does look like me. I've looked through the pictures of her and I'm almost positive she's bigger than me but I have no scale of reference for myself. Don't get me wrong, I'm not judging her, she seems confident in herself and that's fantastic.
So now after being in a tremendously good mood yesterday, feeling confident about myself for ONE DAY, and that's all I get these days, I'm sitting here crying (and in case you're wondering, no I haven't stuffed my face) and wondering what to do with myself. This happens a lot, I even made myself cry on a bus the other week just by thinking about how horrible I was compared to everyone on the bus. But I don't want to go to the doctor and get diagnosed as depressed because I'd be too ashamed to tell anyone. And I don't want his help losing weight because this is working out well for me and if I feel like it's someone else controlling what I eat I'll stop doing it.
If you've read all of that you have my eternal gratitude. And if you have any nuggets of advice/encouragement that would be great.
tl;dr: fat. depressed. losing weight and finally determined to stick to it. but still depressed. don't want to admit to doctor. what do?
People always feel hurt when they are knocked down like that, you seem to be doing all the right things and one day in the near future you will be happy with the way you are. I have no experience of getting help from doctors but you probably need someone to make you feel good about your self such as a good friend.
Seems like you are having a hard time but you are heading in a positive direction.
Seems like you are having a hard time but you are heading in a positive direction.
Going for a run burns more calories than typing a post on TSR. It'll also make you feel better.
Is the answer not obvious?
just go exercise..
just go exercise..
1. Stop being sad
2. Be awesome instead.
2. Be awesome instead.
Hi 
I'm losing weight at the moment so I know how hard it is!
This happened to me in high school, my Spanish teacher constantly got me confused with another "fat girl" and tried to make me believe that our "faces were similar".. in actual fact they couldn't have been more different, and it was obvious that it was because we were both fat. But, she was literally huge whereas I was just "quite" huge if that makes sense.. so it really, really upset me when she got us mixed up, and it made me believe that I was genuinely as fat as this other girl.. and it caused me no end of problems with self esteem, yo-yo dieting.. bullying..
I just wish I could find that teacher now and tell her what she put me through.
I'm losing weight at the moment so I know how hard it is!This happened to me in high school, my Spanish teacher constantly got me confused with another "fat girl" and tried to make me believe that our "faces were similar".. in actual fact they couldn't have been more different, and it was obvious that it was because we were both fat. But, she was literally huge whereas I was just "quite" huge if that makes sense.. so it really, really upset me when she got us mixed up, and it made me believe that I was genuinely as fat as this other girl.. and it caused me no end of problems with self esteem, yo-yo dieting.. bullying..
I just wish I could find that teacher now and tell her what she put me through.
Original post by Alexisonfire
1. Stop being sad
2. Be awesome instead.
2. Be awesome instead.
God I wish it was that easy. I felt awesome yesterday. Today, the complete opposite.
Don't be disheartened. That person and that lecturer are not significant people in your life. In 10 or 20 years you probably won't even remember them. Your family and friends are sticking by you because they love you for you, and aren't bothered about your appearance.
Forget that other day and just focus on your healthy eating and your goal and you will reach it btw the doctors do not in anyway shape or form force you to follow their plan, they just give you lots of information on exercise and healthy eating which you can browse through and take tips from and you can ask any questions that you have
Forget that other day and just focus on your healthy eating and your goal and you will reach it
btw the doctors do not in anyway shape or form force you to follow their plan, they just give you lots of information on exercise and healthy eating which you can browse through and take tips from and you can ask any questions that you have 
Original post by Gemma :)!
Hi I'm losing weight at the moment so I know how hard it is!
This happened to me in high school, my Spanish teacher constantly got me confused with another "fat girl" and tried to make me believe that our "faces were similar".. in actual fact they couldn't have been more different, and it was obvious that it was because we were both fat. But, she was literally huge whereas I was just "quite" huge if that makes sense.. so it really, really upset me when she got us mixed up, and it made me believe that I was genuinely as fat as this other girl.. and it caused me no end of problems with self esteem, yo-yo dieting.. bullying..
I just wish I could find that teacher now and tell her what she put me through.
I'm losing weight at the moment so I know how hard it is!This happened to me in high school, my Spanish teacher constantly got me confused with another "fat girl" and tried to make me believe that our "faces were similar".. in actual fact they couldn't have been more different, and it was obvious that it was because we were both fat. But, she was literally huge whereas I was just "quite" huge if that makes sense.. so it really, really upset me when she got us mixed up, and it made me believe that I was genuinely as fat as this other girl.. and it caused me no end of problems with self esteem, yo-yo dieting.. bullying..
I just wish I could find that teacher now and tell her what she put me through.
God, I'm sure she didn't mean it. Why not make her feel like **** for a simple mistake? She never put you through anything... if your were not overweight you would not have any chance of being mistaken for another overweight person.
Original post by Anonymous
God I wish it was that easy. I felt awesome yesterday. Today, the complete opposite.
Maybe because the weather is grey today?
Original post by Gemma :)!
Hi I'm losing weight at the moment so I know how hard it is!
This happened to me in high school, my Spanish teacher constantly got me confused with another "fat girl" and tried to make me believe that our "faces were similar".. in actual fact they couldn't have been more different, and it was obvious that it was because we were both fat. But, she was literally huge whereas I was just "quite" huge if that makes sense.. so it really, really upset me when she got us mixed up, and it made me believe that I was genuinely as fat as this other girl.. and it caused me no end of problems with self esteem, yo-yo dieting.. bullying..
I just wish I could find that teacher now and tell her what she put me through.
I'm losing weight at the moment so I know how hard it is!This happened to me in high school, my Spanish teacher constantly got me confused with another "fat girl" and tried to make me believe that our "faces were similar".. in actual fact they couldn't have been more different, and it was obvious that it was because we were both fat. But, she was literally huge whereas I was just "quite" huge if that makes sense.. so it really, really upset me when she got us mixed up, and it made me believe that I was genuinely as fat as this other girl.. and it caused me no end of problems with self esteem, yo-yo dieting.. bullying..
I just wish I could find that teacher now and tell her what she put me through.
Thanks
Hope you're on the way to feeling better.I have no idea of how to tell if this girl is actually bigger than me, short of physically measuring her. And I don't know her. I'd already had 'the' wake-up call about 2/3 weeks ago when I weighed myself and realised it had gone back up. And I can tell within myself that I genuinely intend to stick to what I'm doing. So this is just a MASSIVE kick in the teeth when I was feeling so good yesterday. Worst part is that I knew something would go wrong when I clocked how good of a mood I was in!
join a gym? Personally I found gymnastics and ballet are awesome ways to stay in shape, and exercise is awesome to help depression, I don't know the full science, but I think it releases endorphins which make you feel happy
Original post by Anonymous
If you've read all of that you have my eternal gratitude. And if you have any chicken nuggets that would be great.
If you've read all of that you have my eternal gratitude. And if you have any chicken nuggets that would be great.
Original post by Anonymous
Thanks Hope you're on the way to feeling better.
I have no idea of how to tell if this girl is actually bigger than me, short of physically measuring her. And I don't know her. I'd already had 'the' wake-up call about 2/3 weeks ago when I weighed myself and realised it had gone back up. And I can tell within myself that I genuinely intend to stick to what I'm doing. So this is just a MASSIVE kick in the teeth when I was feeling so good yesterday. Worst part is that I knew something would go wrong when I clocked how good of a mood I was in!
Hope you're on the way to feeling better.I have no idea of how to tell if this girl is actually bigger than me, short of physically measuring her. And I don't know her. I'd already had 'the' wake-up call about 2/3 weeks ago when I weighed myself and realised it had gone back up. And I can tell within myself that I genuinely intend to stick to what I'm doing. So this is just a MASSIVE kick in the teeth when I was feeling so good yesterday. Worst part is that I knew something would go wrong when I clocked how good of a mood I was in!
I am, thank you
Much better. I'd say don't let it get to you, but I know it's not that easy. If I could go through high school again I'd try not to let everything get to me as much as I did.. because that just made everything worse. 
Original post by WeekendOffender
God, I'm sure she didn't mean it. Why not make her feel like **** for a simple mistake? She never put you through anything... if your were not overweight you would not have any chance of being mistaken for another overweight person.
Well I'm sure most people don't "mean" things that can trigger psychological disorders or eating disorders, but it doesn't mean they don't say them, and certainly doesn't mean that they hurt. It's not about making anyone feel bad, it's about letting them know what innocent comments can do.
Come on, surely you know as much as I do that at 12 years of age your body is changing, you put on weight as you go through puberty but it all sorts itself out in the end. The difference with me was that the bullying, the comments, the low self esteem.. they resulted in comfort eating, and it's NOT as simple as just saying "well don't comfort eat and you'll lose weight" it's just not that simple.
You can't have a go at me, I'm doing something about it now, lost 3 stone in the past twelve months- I know that I went through a bad time at high school, and I also know what caused it.. and no matter what you say, you'll never know what I went through because you're me so you can't judge it, or how it made me feel.
Original post by MutantGecko
If I wasn't feeling like complete **** I'd be laughing at that. Thanks.
Original post by Anonymous
If I wasn't feeling like complete **** I'd be laughing at that. Thanks.
im sorry.
iv been in your situation sort of, i used to be anorexic, i was hopsitalised twice, i just thought i was so disguisting and ugly all the time, and tbh i was because i was so thin. i guarantee your body is more attractive than mine used to be.
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