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Struggling to take this in

Been dating a girl for about 1 month.. she's good mates with a guy she used to go to school with, and I've found out that she liked him for a few years straight before me and her went out.. and up until we went out:/ They never went out and she says nothing ever happened, but she always had feelings for a few years, even though she tried to get with other people to get over him.
She says she's not into him any more.. before we went out we were mates for about 1-2 months, and she said she really liked me. At the same time, she talked about him and I could see she wasn't over him and was bitter. I gave her the benefit of the doubt, and it's been great with her so far. But she's close with him and they go to each others' houses and went to a concert together. Also her best friend said he likes her, and she even admitted herself she thought he did :s She assures me he's only a friend, but I feel like some kind of second best.
She liked him for years, there must be reasons. She's only known me a few months. He was with someone else for a few months but they just broke up. I don't think she'll cheat, but how do I feel more confident about this? He's very good-looking, even from my point of view, and I feel inadequate.

Reply 1

Scotty Bear

Probably if she's liked him for a long time she thinks he's a lot better than he is (regardless of looks or not) and hopefully for you she'll realise that she is a lot happier with you and will end up glad she didn't get with him in the end. Try not to question her about him and try not to act jealous cos that'll make matters worse. Just be yourself and treat her properly (but also don't bury your head in the sand)

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by Scotty Bear

Yeah since she's never had a relationship with him she might have some kind of idealised image of him. I hope that stuff will be true yeah, just felt weird that she was probably in love with him and now she's with me and she is supposed to have no interest in him or something, I dunno how that stuff works :s but she has been a loving girlfriend, can't deny that, she makes me feel good. I'll try to forget it.

Reply 3

Scotty Bear

It can be confusing for her... when you really wanted a guy for a long time and then he suddenly shows an interest... hopefully it's just the novelty of the attention from someone she's idealised. Hope it works out for you

Reply 4

Drummerboy_123

She's going out with you. Stop making things more complex than it is. Of course she's going to fancy other people. You're not the only guy in the world she'll be attracted to you.

Talk to her about it. Cause' otherwise you'll end up bringing some trust issues into the frame.