Boyfriend never wants to have sex, tried talking. Doesn't work.

Unless he's drunk that's the only time he really wants it, I can count on one hand the amount of times we've done it in 2 months. He always invites me go stay over, we have a lovely evening together but by the time we go to bed he's always tired. Therefore never wants sex and its really getting me down. I've tried talking to him about it countless times but it doesn't work. If we do end up having sex it's never him who initiates it its always me, and I end up feeling like an idiot when he says no or when we do it and he clearly cba. I've just said to him, what's the point in me staying over, if you go straight to sleep every time and his reply 'I'm tired' and i said I feel rejected and he says he's not rejecting me when he clearly is. I'm lay next to him now, he's asleep and I just feel like getting dressed and going home, I'm on the verge of crying. Because I feel like he doesn't want to have sex with me - it makes me feel horrible. I only stay over once a week, so it's not asking a lot.. Seriously fed up and don't know if I can go on like this. Help please.

that's right because that's never happened before.maybe you're in denial.you are in a serious relationship with somebody who doesn't want to have sex with you.there obviously is a reason why that is

Personally, I think it's unlikely he's cheating on you, I don't think that would cause him to not want to sleep with you unless he is feeling extremely guilty, in which case he would most likely have confessed by now. I suspect the most likely story is that he has some kind of psychological issue going on at the moment, what that is is obviously extremely hard to say with the very little information you have given. He might be nervous about sleeping with you because he is insecure, because he is worried about you judging him negatively. He may be having personal problems that are troubling him and mean that he just doesn't want to have sex at the moment, and the more you push him the worse it gets. He may also have worries about your relationship that are causing him to push you away and be too frightened to say anything.

My suggestion would be to completely back off and just say to him that you are feeling very hurt by him not wanting to have sex with you, but that you will understand if he just needs some time and to come to you when he's ready. You could also suggest to him that you are happy to listen to anything he's got to say, if he's got any problems etc. Try to talk about other things when you go to bed, see if you can get him talking about the problem without directly asking.

Ultimately though, if you are feeling unsatisfied and he doesn't ever explain the problem, you will have to tell him that you think you should break up, and see if that prompts a change in behaviour. If not, I'd say take some time apart. Only way I'm afraid! You both deserve to be happy and if you're not, you have to change things. Pushing him will only make him more stubborn and make everything worse.

If this was reversed and a guy was complaining about his gf not wanting to have sex with him then everyone would say to back off and give her some time. So just maybe speak to him about it. If it's really not working for you then break it off with him, but you can't force him to do something he doesn't want.

*sigh* double standards...

i disagree, op wants to have sex, her boyfriend may not be ready or may not want to, why is every relationship about sex anyway?

Its not bout sex

If this was reversed and a guy was complaining about his gf not wanting to have sex with him then everyone would say to back off and give her some time.

*sigh* double standards...

Unless he's drunk that's the only time he really wants it, I can count on one hand the amount of times we've done it in 2 months. He always invites me go stay over, we have a lovely evening together but by the time we go to bed he's always tired. Therefore never wants sex and its really getting me down. I've tried talking to him about it countless times but it doesn't work. If we do end up having sex it's never him who initiates it its always me, and I end up feeling like an idiot when he says no or when we do it and he clearly cba. I've just said to him, what's the point in me staying over, if you go straight to sleep every time and his reply 'I'm tired' and i said I feel rejected and he says he's not rejecting me when he clearly is. I'm lay next to him now, he's asleep and I just feel like getting dressed and going home, I'm on the verge of crying. Because I feel like he doesn't want to have sex with me - it makes me feel horrible. I only stay over once a week, so it's not asking a lot.. Seriously fed up and don't know if I can go on like this. Help please.

i disagree, op wants to have sex, her boyfriend may not be ready or may not want to, why is every relationship about sex anyway?

Question his sexuality! Could be batting for the other team!

Seriously, no-one is saying that he should be having sex with her and because he's not he's a terrible boyfriend. I suspect the reason that all the posts about him not having to have sex with her are getting negged is because they are tied to some bull**** about 'libido suppressing drugs' which, FYI, don't exist. Also, just as it is perfectly natural and acceptable for the boyfriend to not want sex, it is also perfectly natural and acceptable that the OP does!! How exactly are drugs going to help, how? Are you seriously trying to tell me that there is some magic drug out there that will help the OP feel perfectly happy and fulfilled despite the deep emotional response she is having to this situation?!

Seriously, men are forever whinging on about how double standards exist in society, and maybe in a lot of cases that is justified but this is NOT one of them. Get over yourselves. Most people are saying 'back off and give him time, but if you aren't happy then break up' which is what they would say if the OP were a man having problems with his GF.

Also, you are forgetting the fact that generally in our society, it is believed that men always want to have sex and women often don't. That is why people are saying that he is probably cheating, because it seems inconceivable that a man might just not want sex. This is also why the more sensible posters are saying to talk to him about it and that he probably has an emotional issue that has caused the change in his behaviour. Good luck OP, hopefully your man is more enlightened than some of the daft people on here.

Really?

If so, how do the (heterosexual) guys on the oil rigs nr. Equatorial Guinea and Angola manage? How do the (heterosexual guys) in the construction industry in Abu Dhabi, Dubai, Sharjah, Oman, Saudi and Qatar manage?

They shag each other. There have been several cases of man on man rape in these places.

Really?

If so, how do the (heterosexual) guys on the oil rigs nr. Equatorial Guinea and Angola manage? How do the (heterosexual guys) in the construction industry in Abu Dhabi, Dubai, Sharjah, Oman, Saudi and Qatar manage?