Why are girls so picky and why do so many dislike black men?

Why are some people being such dicks on here..chill out

Unfortunately this is TSR :/

If OP were female, the responses would be starkly different.

A bit biased don't you think...everyone has feelings at the end of the day.

Unfortunately this is TSR :/

If OP were female, the responses would be starkly different.

Im just not attracted to black men don't know why, I suppose you either feel attraction or you don't.

That's my point.

Totally agree - I once made an account under a male name (different forum), just for fun, and the level of sympathy in peoples' responses to totally identical threads dropped dramatically. It was really weird.

You do realise that loads of girls love black guys you often see them with really hot girlfriends you are just blaming being black for women not liking you.

What you mean like going all the way to Hastings for university?



Woolwich

I want to point out that of course I'm not going to seem mature when I'm venting my frustrations. It's a rant for crying out loud! That's the point.

But my frustration aside, if you're not being helpful then it's probably best if you just go away. It's like you reading a post from someone crying over a break up and you say "aw well, it's your fault, you seem like this and that" and so on when you know nothing about that person. That seems likes a stupid assumption to make. When I've gone through years and years of negative experiences do you think I'm going to particularly happy? If I've taken to speaking to my age group in an angry manner don't you think that perhaps something just happened to make me bitter as you found me?

Simply put, I don't understand girl's thinking when it comes to selecting the men they date. They say they want this and that and don't care about looks etc but then many of their actions seem to contradict this. At least boys are more or less honest with what they want even if it makes them seem like jerks.

Some may not realise this but by me saying I want a meaningful relationship "NOW" it means I want a relationship sooner rather than later that's not me throwing a tantrum, that's me putting greater emphasis on the word "now".

I don't any one night stands or any casual relationships, I would like to eventually settle down with a woman who knows what she wants, knows how to treat people and for once isn't superficial but I can't seem to meet these people. I knew a girl for 3 years and helped her along her rocky relationship and despite us getting along very well ultimately she didn't think we were a good match for each other. Instead she ends up dating a stranger she bumps into one day which completely threw. I just don't understand how the world works.

Surely it's better to build a friendship with a person right? You want to know you can trust them and confide in them. If this is what people say that they want then why is it that people seem to get together with people they don't know and when it comes to people they do know they say they're "too good friends"? Two of my greatest friends are female but I haven't been with any of them even though we get on really well.

This is about the girls in my area and not a generalisation of girls.

I'm so sick and tired of girls my age! I hate them so much!

I'm 19 in South East and have been single for years and I honestly don't know what's wrong with me. I consider myself reasonably attractive and above all I have a really good personality; I'm kind, generous, considerate, thoughtful, a good listener, caring, affectionate - just to name a few but I live in a world where my peers are so ****ing judgemental and superficial that it's rage-inducing.

I try so hard to befriend people but to no avail and I honestly have no idea what I'm doing wrong. I put myself out there to make friends only to be crushed so I decided to just be myself which is more withdrawn and considered as my peers as "anti-social" and of course I'm crushed.

If I don't think going ouy and getting drunk is my idea of fun then does that make me a terrible person!? If I hate Facebook does that make me unsociable? Right now I'm tired of my idiotic peers who are so damn picky and unsurprisingly can't sustain relationships because they don't consider the people who could genuinely make them happy.

What makes me so mad is that you have the jerks and the morons who don't know how to think, dress or talk always getting the girl and then they treat those girls like crap! My friend is cheating on his girlfriend with a married woman for crying out loud! Meanwhile here's me - a nice guy who can't get anyone and I don't know why.

I try to befriend black women but they don't care for me because I'm literally not "black" enough; meaning that they'd probably like me more if I called them b***h more and dropped my trousers so you can see my bum and then the white girls I know don't even like black men. I can't win and I just don't know what to do.

I'm a mature boy for my age - I always have been and I've been told this by adults. I want a meaningful relationship NOW; a relationship I can work on and move into the future with. But of course being so young older women won't look at me, and by the time I'm 30 or so I'll still be around my idiot peers only they will be the same age but they still will have the same feelings.

This is partly a rant but mostly it's my cry for help as I simply don't have a place in the world at all.

I have highlighted your problem.

You come across as someone girls would want to be friends with, not have sex with.

You are too straight lace, nice and willing to commit.

You are emotionally available, generous and keen for commitment. Your commodity is available for free, so it is not that attractive or valued since it is easily obtained. Make girls work for it. Make them work for you.

I am sure some girls here would tell you that the way you are is fine and assure you that you will get a girl someday. That is rubbish, mate! They most likely would not date you themselves and if you did get a girl, it would most likely be a girl that is not too attractive who is equally emotionally available, generous and keen for commitment because she has to be as she knows she is not first pick and has to offer some alternative compensation. Attractive girls tend not to be that nice as they know a lot of men would queue up anyway and majority of them are looking for a bad boy, the ones that refuse to queue.

There must be a little mean side to you, let it shine and you will see how girls flock to you like a magnet. Girls like to have men they can't have and/or with a little bit of edge. Especially girls in your age range. Your present form is only good when you are older because older women like that as they have less options themselves.

Have you not seen the kind of women and number of women Mario Balotelli pulls? They like him bad!

OP I'm a black woman who's generally thought of too white to be black but too black to be white in the same way that you're probably experiencing. All I can say is that living life in different parts of the country really changes the experience you have with the opposite sex because you get to meet a different range of people in different subcultures. Don't live your whole life in Woolwich for gods sake!

People need to understand that there is no acting "black", and there is no acting "white". Describing things in those terms helps to perpetuate the stereotype that black males are thuggish or ultra cool. It seems like the OP is neither

This is about the girls in my area and not a generalisation of girls.

I'm so sick and tired of girls my age! I hate them so much!

I'm 19 in South East and have been single for years and I honestly don't know what's wrong with me. I consider myself reasonably attractive and above all I have a really good personality; I'm kind, generous, considerate, thoughtful, a good listener, caring, affectionate - just to name a few but I live in a world where my peers are so ****ing judgemental and superficial that it's rage-inducing.

I try so hard to befriend people but to no avail and I honestly have no idea what I'm doing wrong. I put myself out there to make friends only to be crushed so I decided to just be myself which is more withdrawn and considered as my peers as "anti-social" and of course I'm crushed.

If I don't think going ouy and getting drunk is my idea of fun then does that make me a terrible person!? If I hate Facebook does that make me unsociable? Right now I'm tired of my idiotic peers who are so damn picky and unsurprisingly can't sustain relationships because they don't consider the people who could genuinely make them happy.

What makes me so mad is that you have the jerks and the morons who don't know how to think, dress or talk always getting the girl and then they treat those girls like crap! My friend is cheating on his girlfriend with a married woman for crying out loud! Meanwhile here's me - a nice guy who can't get anyone and I don't know why.

I try to befriend black women but they don't care for me because I'm literally not "black" enough; meaning that they'd probably like me more if I called them b***h more and dropped my trousers so you can see my bum and then the white girls I know don't even like black men. I can't win and I just don't know what to do.

I'm a mature boy for my age - I always have been and I've been told this by adults. I want a meaningful relationship NOW; a relationship I can work on and move into the future with. But of course being so young older women won't look at me, and by the time I'm 30 or so I'll still be around my idiot peers only they will be the same age but they still will have the same feelings.

This is partly a rant but mostly it's my cry for help as I simply don't have a place in the world at all.

You sound exactly like me as a female. Trust me, women love guys like you . STUPID women pass guy like you up, then turn them into *******s and then wonder why the world is so full of *******s. (you know ho they say women love *******s? They kind of accidentally left themselves with *******s after destroying a nice guy) The same with men turning down a hot girl who is eternally forgiving, worships the ground they walk on, can cook and clean and is devoted to him because he wants some golddigging ho for some odd reason. I think materialism has ruined people and in turn they ruin eachother. Nice people often give up being nice.

What's annoying though is if someone hits on you and expect you to just go out with them randomly. Relationships form from platonic friendship (with a bit of flirting maybe). About the black guys thing, you are nice, but alot of black guys aren't/ Before you say anything, I've experienced a fair few white *******s too. I've only really had guys hit on me SINCE I got a boyfriend (after tracking him down from the internet in desperation lol) and these guys get really offended if you don't just say YES if they offer to take you to their place or start talking about what they want to get down to when you've only spoken to them for 10 seconds. Then they turn around and say 'IT'S COS I'M BLACK?! YOU DONT LIKE BLACK GUYS?!'

So many are rude, sex-obsessed, don't have any interests outside of black culture, COD, fried chicken, speaking patois and Nikes. This is a broad stereotype but for alot, it is true.

You AREN'T like that, but I say go look for a girl with low self esteem and standards then show her you are more awesome than she could have ever expected. Build eachother back up again. I had to get me a shy virgin in order to finally have a date! (and a sweetheart at that. He used to say the same things as you when we spoke as friends and I listened to his problems. His confidence is now increasing every day)

Good luck x

I have to be honest, when I read the first paragraphs I thought you were a girl. "I have a really good personality; I'm kind, generous, considerate, thoughtful, a good listener, caring, affectionate".
Not that these characteristics aren't good for both sexes - they are. But they are more prominent in women.
It's great that you have them, but I consider it a warning sign that those are the ones you think matter the most. A man who would want to emphasize him being a great potential partner would say "I have a good personality - I am confident, self-assured, ambitious, outgoing and funny". Maybe you didn't list traits like that because you don't have them, or maybe you just don't realize the importance of them. Either way, these are things women look for.

Regarding the 'normal' social stuff you're mentioning. You don't have to have facebook, or if you did, you don't need to use it actively. But you have to accept that most people do. Not necessarily to show off but to communicate, post events and send invites and tell old friends what they're up to. I talk to friends more over facebook inbox than I do over text (also it's free).
Not everybody drinks to get "smashed". But over a certain age, alcohol is pretty normal. Most of the time I will meet friends for a drink or a glass of wine. Because I like it and because it helps most people loosen up - you too, if you did.
I think you need to lose this attitude that everyone who consumes alcohol or are on facebook/twitter/instagram or do anything else of the normal things young people do today, are hopeless and working against you. Sometimes you have to adjust, if only a little.

If you really cannot relate to anyone in your area because it's a very specific group of people, then consider living somewhere else. Everybody else isn't going to adjust to you.

Regarding friendzone, it's pretty simple. If you don't want to be "just friends" with a girl, don't be. Men who find themselves in the friendzone have most of the time done one of two mistakes. Either they have not actually asked the girl out on a date, or they HAVE, got a negative/ambiguous answer and starting hanging around her feet hoping that she'll change her mind. Set the tone. Be flirtatious, confident, don't try to identify with women or be their emotional outlet. Ask a girl out, if she says no, stop hanging out with her, move on to the next. Simple as that.

Not all women dislike us. Some women like us for "our smooth and sensitive souls yet rugged chocolate exterior."