If you dont want a baby enough to adopt one, you dont really want a baby?

I posted a thread on a parenting forum about having a baby at a late age. I mentioned that Ive no partner/boyfriend as Ive never had the urge to have sex or be with someone. I was asking about the pro's con's of getting pregnant having a baby at a late age - say late 30's- (im currently 28) as I do want kids eventually but need time to settle down/meet someone/to mate etc.

Someone suggested the idea of adopting and I said I didnt want to adopt I wanted one of my own. People then started saying that if I didnt want a baby enough to adopt one then I didnt really want a baby.

Thing is I want to go the evolution theory route and spread my genes lol, I want my own! Why should I feel guilty for not taking on a 'mistake' of other people? Women have loads of children Im only talking about one and people are saying that I cant want a baby if I dont want to adopt. Why doesnt this apply to everyone else who wants their own kids then?

Someone likes being with people so much they can't understand how anyone else doesnt lol.

Hello


First thing that gave it away is you said you were a 28 yr old virgin

Gave what away? Dont know what you are on about winking and everything my thread is about having babies! I am a virgin as people like to call it.

What do you do for a living?

Random I know, just trying to work out something

Adopting a child is different. I've never really considered adopting, I've always wanted my own kids. Nothing wrong with that. There's people that only want to adopt- each to their own.

work what out?

Obviously an adopted child won't be related to you, so what's the actual point you're trying to get across?

Obviously an adopted child won't be related to you, so what's the actual point you're trying to get across?

There's a lot of restrictions on adoption which can make the process really difficult, especially if you want a baby from birth rather than a toddler/young child. I've heard of people being ticked off for things like smoking, or past diagnoses of anxiety or stress related insomnia - even if it was just one visit to the GP for 1 month's anti-anxiety meds. (As if biological families never go through the same thing).

I've always been open to the idea of adoption, if I was say 38 and had no prospect of conceiving I'd be more than happy to adopt from overseas where babies are abandoned by the hundreds, but that's just me. One of my teachers adopted a young boy who'd been neglected she had to take the full year's adoption leave to take care of him and introduce him to a normal life - it's very commendable but maybe that's not what everyone wants to do?

By the way, please don't say 'lol' when you're making an argument. It weakens it and I can't see where the humour is frankly...

I use lol to just to lighten the conversation as some people take debates/banter so seriously and im more chilled out. I find that if people are sarcastic/rude to you posting a reply with lol in it tends to annoy them even more


I wouldnt totally dismiss adoption like you said if at 38 you really want a child but cant have your own I can see the reason to adopt. Thats interesting about not being able to adopt with a short history of anxiety. Doesnt make much sense since different stressors can trigger anxiety for different people and anyone can develop it.

Anyway yea its just the whole 'oh you cant really want a baby if you dont want to adopt' that was said to me on another forum that I dont get.