BF said i could sleep around - how to make less tempting

I'd really say that it depends on a lot of things.
Is this a mutual thing, is he in a different uni for example?

How to make it less tempting... If it's not a mutual thing, then no matter what he says, I'd imagine he would be hurt if you did. That would keep those thoughts at bay for me.

So he's really insecure, and his way of making sure he doesn't lose you from the LDR is by removing the exclusivity of your relationship on your side

How often are you going to be seeing him? When's the next time you plan on seeing him? Is he too far away to have a weekend visit?

It's sounds to me that he 'wants' you to have sex with other people because he feels bad that he can't have sex with you himself, because of both the LDR and for personal/religious reasons. In which case, he IS insecure about the relationship and thinks he will lose you because you aren't sexually satisfied. In which case, being in open relationship would just shatter his self esteem even more, especially because it's essentially just you who will be in an open relationship whereas he will be exclusive to you.

Tbh I sort of understand how your boyfriend is feeling. The right thing would to obviously not go through with it and reassure him that you are willing to wait/discuss it with him further to see if he would 100% be happy with it.

I think this might be it. I've seen him twice since the middle of September and will see him again in 2-3 weeks. We don't have set times for seeing each other such as every 3 weekends, we just see each other when we can, but I'm guessing we'll be able to visit even less as we get busier, especially if he gets a job, which he needs to get. We can have weekend visits, but we can't afford it every weekend.

He's basically given up on trying to keep you faithful to him. In his unconfident mind it's only a matter of time before you cheat so may as well "allow" it so that it's easier for him to come to terms with. I wouldn't validate his beliefs by actually sleeping with someone else.

He's about 100 miles away and see each other every few weeks. He's the one that first said I could. I didn't mention it and he didn't use it as an excuse for him to do it.

He's basically given up on trying to keep you faithful to him. In his unconfident mind it's only a matter of time before you cheat so may as well "allow" it so that it's easier for him to come to terms with. I wouldn't validate his beliefs by actually sleeping with someone else.

Fair enough. I feel your pain; quite a bit of my money goes on train tickets to see my boyfriend on weekends. And in my previous relationship we were in different countries

What about near Christmas time when the holidays start? Could you maybe plan something for then so you have something to look forward to?

As for how to avoid temptation, avoid situations where you are tempted. If you're going to go out, go out in a pack with friends, don't get so drunk you forget where you live, etc. You could also Skype together in the evenings if you're missing each other/want to hear each others' voices and whatnot.

This.


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Hm, I don't think he would actually be comfortable with it.
Skype and phonecalls sounds like a good idea, I know it's not like having their physical presence, but it's nice to chat, something that IM misses.

I thought it might be some kind of test when he first mentioned it. I admitted it has been tempting, he said it would be too, if he thought any girls had been flirting with him. He thinks I'm well out of his league (I'm seriously not) and has even said that I am to my parents.

Why is it tempting? Does he not satisfy you? Sounds like you're better off splitting up if you are tempted.

I'm sorry to state what I see as the obvious here- but im 99.9% sure he is sleeping with someone else.

Aaargh, why would you ever want your girlfriend to sleep with some other guy

I bet if you did sleep with someone he'd ask you loads of questions like did you enjoy it? And details about the guy like some proper cuckold.

If you sleep with someone else then, no matter what he might have said, your relationship will be over. It will be a question of when, not if. So if you want your relationship to last, don't do as he's suggested.

He said I could do it before we even left. I've rarely met a guy with such low confidence levels - after 2 and a half years he still wonders why I'm sexually attracted to him. And like I said, his mum would kill him if he got me pregnant, let alone anyone else - have you ever seen an angry Irish catholic woman !?!?

I don't understand it either. He said that he knows I have 'needs', which for several weeks at a time, he won't be able to satisfy. And if I come back to him, then it shows that I love him and the other guy(s) don't mean anything to me.