How do you cope with jealousy in a relationship?

I don't really get jealous.

Jealousy is a normal part of everyone's emotions. However - too much jealous can be borderline abusive/creepy.

There's very little jealousy in my relationship but, in the event of any problem, we'd likely just talk it out.

I was quite bad for being jealous at the start of my relationship years ago but over the years I've mellowed out and realised that it is me my partner wants and I have nothing to worry about. My best advice when you feel jealous for whatever reason is to talk it out with your partner. Keeping it in just makes you feel worse and you'll no doubt snap at your partner.

Ah that's good! Are you guys just confident in your relationship or did you talk about things in the past that lead you not to get jealous?

A combination of both, perhaps?

I was quite insecure when we got together (problems I've since made an effort to work through...), so we talked a lot and I took comfort in his reassurances and vice versa. These days, I feel more confident in myself and, honestly, more secure in the relationship for being happier with who I am.

Communication is the biggest thing - if any jealously crops up it's important to be able to talk it out with your partner.

I also find that applying the same standards to your partner as you do to yourself helps. For example, when you hang out with someone of the gender(s) you're attracted to, do you find yourself wanting to cheat? Are you immediately attracted to them? Does it make you doubt your relationship? Given that the answer is probably no, don't treat your partner differently. Trust that they are able to spend time with people without doubting you or loving you less, just as you are.

Having an active, independent life is really important too. If you're busy working, studying, socialising, exercising etc you care less about what your partner does when you're apart as you're focusing on your own life. It's when you have very little to do that you start obsessing about your partner's life, which isn't at all healthy and breeds jealousy and insecurity.

Ah so many good points! I especially agree with the one about having your own life. Especially in relation to friends. I think having friends of different genders too as that way you can see that people can have guy-friends, female-friends without being paranoid their other half will think they're cheating just for talking to someone.

So, it looks like your big tips would be:
- Communication
-Trust your relationship
- Place the same standards you would on yourself on your relationship
- Have your own life as well as a relationship!

Aww love it I think I was similar, was this your first relationship? I think that makes a bit of a difference as it's quite new and shiny and I didn't know how to react properly I think. Also I think as the years went on we know each other better so we can say to each other if we think one of ours' jealousy is getting out of check. I say one of, it's usually me that gets pulled up for it

So your top tips are: - talk a lot to each other
- building our own confidence up
- reassure each other

Haha, nope, I was engaged to my partner of five years before this... I gained a lot of weight in that relationship and it was pretty immature / unhealthy for us both, so I guess some of that carried over into this relationship.

I normally get very bitchy before I tell him what's the matter. I deal with negative emotions generally by being sarcastic and bitchy.

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Have you had experience of this? How'd you deal with it?

Haha, nope, I was engaged to my partner of five years before this... I gained a lot of weight in that relationship and it was pretty immature / unhealthy for us both, so I guess some of that carried over into this relationship.

Yeah I think that sums up what I think really well! I find that by doing these things it really helps keep jealousy to a minimum and helps you work through it, both independently and as a couple, when issues crop up.

I think feeling some jealousy is unavoidable, especially when you're young and you don't have much relationship experience - the important thing is that you can deal with it in a healthy way!