It depends on what he's expecting you to change. If it's something (such as drugs or smoking, as an example) that would improve you as a person independent of the relationship then it may not be a bad idea. However if it's something petty or something that is ridiculous to change then no you shouldn't do it if you don't want to.

In terms of arguments it takes two to tango so there should be some compromise - if he's expecting you to do X then you should come to a solution that would benefit you both - perhaps something you can mutually improve upon together.

Remember that in a relationship people will argue but the good times should outnumber the bad times by a great deal. If they don't then it's best to cut your losses and move on. PM me if you'd like to talk :smile:

Reply 9

SophieSmall

21

Loving someone does not necessarily mean loving everything about them, it means loving them in spite of their flaws.

What exactly is it he thinks you should change?

Some changes to yourself are okay, but not if it goes against who you are as a person and only benefits him.

For example say you got angry really quickly over the smallest things, him asking you to work on your anger would be (in my opinion anyway) acceptable. However let's say for example he didn't like the hobbies you have and asked you to change them, that would not be an acceptable change for him to expect.

Reply 10

Dancing Samurai

Original post by danr2

th

prsom

Reply 11

username1623349

13

Original post by anniethedoc

And how can this guy say he loves me if he threatens to leave all the time.. tthreatesn that it wont work

If he constantly threatens to leave or that it won't work then he doesn't truly love you. This is a sign of power and him trying to control you and is a massive red flag.

This, combined with him asking you to change, is a big no. It seems like you should get out of there ASAP.

Reply 12

Zargabaath

21

Original post by SophieSmall

Loving someone does not necessarily mean loving everything about them, it means loving them in spite of their flaws.

What exactly is it he thinks you should change?

Some changes to yourself are okay, but not if it goes against who you are as a person and only benefits him.

For example say you got angry really quickly over the smallest things, him asking you to work on your anger would be (in my opinion anyway) acceptable. However let's say for example he didn't like the hobbies you have and asked you to change them, that would not be an acceptable change for him to expect.

how are you always the most down to earth poster on every thread?
9 times out of 10 your posts are PRSOM

Reply 13

username1539513

21

Original post by danr2

th

Stop that

Reply 14

SophieSmall

21

Original post by Zargabaath

how are you always the most down to earth poster on every thread?
9 times out of 10 your posts are PRSOM

I'm basically a god.

Reply 15

danr2

3

then tell them to delete my account?

Reply 16

Zargabaath

21

Original post by SophieSmall

I'm basically a god.

those gems speak for themselves

Reply 17

Soontobesuper

16

This person sounds quite destructive,
It depends on what they want you to change, how and in how they are saying it. If they are saying it in the heat of the arguement, in a bad way, think x2