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How do I handle a guy who hurt me?

I was in a casual relationship with a guy who also happened to be a dear friend. Long story short I developed feelings and he hurt me really badly, though unintentionally. One day I lashed out and told him how much he had hurt me. He told me how sorry he was and agreed to give me space. I haven't spoken to him since but have found that I am not healing. Every day I end up crying at some point, even though I feel fine for the rest of the day. I miss him and his texts and phone calls, I feel lonely even when I surround myself with other people. But every time I think about contacting him again I get this burning feeling in my chest and want to start to cry again.

He thinks that I' just taking a break from him and will come back sooner or later but I don't know if I can handle resuming any sort of relationship with him. I need to figure out how soothe away the heartache and move on. Will it make things better or worse if I just tell him that I'm cutting contact for good?

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Reply 1

Anonymous #1

By the way this isn't the first time he hurt me unintentionally but it's the first time I was upfront about how I felt.

Cut his balls off.

Give your self some time away from him.

But the fact that you miss his calls/texts shows that you still want to be with him.

So even if there was anyway you could forgive him, do it.

If you can't handle the heartbreak, just stay well away and move on x

How did he hurt you?

Original post by Alfed

How did he hurt you?

Sorry for the late reply.

To update my situation I am in contact with him again so the "break" is over. To summarise this guy used me as rebound. A girl broke his heart and he was completely devastated. He told me what happened and I attempted to comfort him but things got out of hand and he ended up using me sexually and as an emotional crutch. I thought I could handle it and tried to keep myself emotionally detached to some degree but obviously that didn't work.

He's not the spiteful type; he either did not mean to hurt me and did not realise he was or was just indifferent to it. Now whenever I talk to him all I can think about is how he used to hurt me daily by giving me detailed information about his relationship with this other girl, how he will never love anyone like her and how amazing she is. Now he claims to have moved on and is happy and enjoying life again, which is good but I'm feeling bitter that he more or less crushed me to get to that stage. He claims to have feelings for me and that I am one of the few people he can confide in but my bitterness overwhelmes me too much to have any positive thoughts or feelings about it.

I just worry about hurting him by cutting contact for good just when he is starting to feel good about life again. But I don't know if our friendship (or whatever you can call our relationship) can be repaired.

Reply 6

mkap

you shouldnt be with someone who has hurt you so much whether intentional or not. the best way to get over someone who has is to distance yourself from them and everytime you think of them remember how they hurt you.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Original post by mkap

Yes, I do not think that I could ever be in a happy relationship now.

I just worry about being consumed by guilt if I hurt him right after I helped him to heal. I'm not the vengeful sort so the fact that he may or may not deserve it won't remove the guilt.