I feel hollow

Well this is a whole new level of depressing

I don't feel this way all the time, but every so often, I get this awful awful crippling feeling that nothing in my life is meaningful, and it just makes me want to stop everything and stand still/sleep.

I feel that most of my friendships are based on me talking random crap, and laughing at things that aren't funny, and then they laugh, and we share a moment, an "inside-joke" but it means nothing.

The rest of my friends, the ones I talk about my feelings to, can't be there in real life for me, and I feel like, they almost don't exist apart from on my computer screen. I feel like I drain them when I talk to them because, despite sometimes maintaining a positive vibe, when I do talk deeply with them, it always leads down to some awful conclusions that we can't explain away.

As for my life beyond my relationships, I don't know why I'm doing my degree, I chose it because I was supposed to be good at it, from my results at a-level, but I'm not. I feel like I could be if I applied myself, but I have no motivation.. I feel like I'd be living the same way on the inside whether I came out with a 2.2 or a 1st, I've thought about doing a second degree after this one, but I don't know whether that will help.

I just don't feel interested in anything any more, nothing makes me excited because I feel it's so pointless.

I need help with my thought process, or something, I just want to have an existence that doesn't leave me questioning why I'm even trying.

I'm sorry for bringing your mood down.

x

Well this is a whole new level of depressing

I don't feel this way all the time, but every so often, I get this awful awful crippling feeling that nothing in my life is meaningful, and it just makes me want to stop everything and stand still/sleep.

I feel that most of my friendships are based on me talking random crap, and laughing at things that aren't funny, and then they laugh, and we share a moment, an "inside-joke" but it means nothing.

The rest of my friends, the ones I talk about my feelings to, can't be there in real life for me, and I feel like, they almost don't exist apart from on my computer screen. I feel like I drain them when I talk to them because, despite sometimes maintaining a positive vibe, when I do talk deeply with them, it always leads down to some awful conclusions that we can't explain away.

As for my life beyond my relationships, I don't know why I'm doing my degree, I chose it because I was supposed to be good at it, from my results at a-level, but I'm not. I feel like I could be if I applied myself, but I have no motivation.. I feel like I'd be living the same way on the inside whether I came out with a 2.2 or a 1st, I've thought about doing a second degree after this one, but I don't know whether that will help.

I just don't feel interested in anything any more, nothing makes me excited because I feel it's so pointless.

I need help with my thought process, or something, I just want to have an existence that doesn't leave me questioning why I'm even trying.

I'm sorry for bringing your mood down.

x

Stop thinking about ******** and do something fun.

**** women.

Get pissed. Do drugs.

Play video games.

Play sports.

Listen to music. Sing and dance.

Go hug your mum.

Go volunteer for a charity organisation or the police or something similar.

Get another job.

I know, I hate it, I don't understand why other people avoid getting these feelings and I want to find out what I'm doing wrong

I don't feel this way all the time, but every so often, I get this awful awful crippling feeling that nothing in my life is meaningful, and it just makes me want to stop everything and stand still/sleep.

I feel that most of my friendships are based on me talking random crap, and laughing at things that aren't funny, and then they laugh, and we share a moment, an "inside-joke" but it means nothing.

The rest of my friends, the ones I talk about my feelings to, can't be there in real life for me, and I feel like, they almost don't exist apart from on my computer screen. I feel like I drain them when I talk to them because, despite sometimes maintaining a positive vibe, when I do talk deeply with them, it always leads down to some awful conclusions that we can't explain away.

As for my life beyond my relationships, I don't know why I'm doing my degree, I chose it because I was supposed to be good at it, from my results at a-level, but I'm not. I feel like I could be if I applied myself, but I have no motivation.. I feel like I'd be living the same way on the inside whether I came out with a 2.2 or a 1st, I've thought about doing a second degree after this one, but I don't know whether that will help.

I just don't feel interested in anything any more, nothing makes me excited because I feel it's so pointless.

I need help with my thought process, or something, I just want to have an existence that doesn't leave me questioning why I'm even trying.

I'm sorry for bringing your mood down.

x

I know I shouldn't :/.. but how do I avoid thinking about it?

While that might solve the current problem, idk if it fixes my underlying issue, which means it might just come straight back again at any time. Even if I do have some tactic that lets me avoid thinking about it

You're having an existential crisis. It's common in transitional periods in life. I sometimes have about 20 a day.

I can't offer you advice on how to banish the feelings of hollowness forever, but I can say that the feelings do fade at times and I've usually found myself glad I'm still around and in a world full of possibilities when they do fade. All you can do is try and create some kind of purpose. We're born and then entered into a school system where almost everything is laid out for us. We go to primary school, then high school, get GCSEs, get A levels, and go to university and at some point we realise that our lives don't continue that way. While you're at university you have to start making life decisions and nothing is definitely coming after your degree. It's not surprising that it's a bit of a shock to the system. Life feels empty because no one has given you something to fill it up with. Sometimes it helps to think about what made you happy as a child - what were you doing when you felt the most carefree you've ever felt? What did you use to enjoy that you maybe don't do any more? Sometimes we stop doing things when we become adults because they have no instant monetary/educational worth, but life is about more than that. If you can think of things to fill your life with just because they make you happy while you're doing them then that's half the battle. You might then even be able to incorporate those things into your future career or at least make them a permanent part of your life.

damn

all I can say is just try really hard to look for something exciting and different- perhaps a new hobby or explore a relationship with someone your not very close too? Just be on the look for something new I guess

Sounds like someone I know.

"what were you doing when you felt the most carefree you've ever felt? What did you use to enjoy that you maybe don't do any more? Sometimes we stop doing things when we become adults because they have no instant monetary/educational worth, but life is about more than that"

I used to have an addiction to video games, I played 10,000 hours over the span of about 4 years, I guess that's when I felt the most carefree. I can't go back to that though, it's the reason I messed up my A-levels the first time round, and now, when I think about it, it just feels like a destructive habit.

I guess the other thing is just being stupid and childish with my friends, I love doing that, but when it stops, I question whether our friendship is even based on anything real, or whether I could just be replaced by someone with the same thought process of being unfiltered and chatting random bs.

When you say that "life is about more than that", could you elaborate?

"If you can think of things to fill your life with just because they make you happy while you're doing them then that's half the battle. You might then even be able to incorporate those things into your future career or at least make them a permanent part of your life"

I get that, and I appreciate you telling me it. It's the reason why I'm considering taking another undergraduate degree, I'm just afraid that, since I'll be 27 when I'm done with it, I'll be too old and have lost so many opportunities to do the things that young people do, without feeling judged.

I appreciate your advice, you know what you're talking about

x

The bit in bold is the kind of thing that philosophers have been discussing for years. I think in order to avoid driving yourself crazy and enjoy life you have to just make a conscious decision to accept that you exist and therefore you matter. The conversations you have, whether funny or serious, matter just because they do. I know it's easier said than done to stop questioning things so much but that's what it all comes down to - if we question the things we will probably never have an answer to we can only go in circles, which leads to depression and the feeling of purposelessness/hollowness that you're describing. If you're the type of person who naturally questions things, and you have a philosophical mind, you might never stop wondering what the point of everything is but you can definitely lessen the amount of time you spend wondering and choose to accept life with all its unanswered questions.

Life is about more than just education and money. I think we're conditioned by the education system and society as a whole to think that education and money are the most important things to pursue and therefore if we can find no purpose in them, or we're currently failing on the education and money front our life has to be meaningless. In reality, life is about what you do in between going to university and working and doing all those adult things you're expected to do. You have to allow yourself time to be carefree (obviously preferably not through destructive habits - I should really get off the Internet, because that isn't the best way to spend my carefree time...). Make yourself understand that life is about silly, 'meaningless' interactions sometimes. It doesn't make life meaningless if you engage in those things.

And I'm biased re. you being 27 by the time you graduate from a 2nd degree - I'm about to start my university study for the second time at the age of 26 due to checking out of life for about 7 years because of anxiety. It used to bother me that I was behind everyone my age and missing out, but it's another thing I've just learnt to accept. Some days it's easier than others to accept it. And a lot of people who graduated at 21 or 22 thinking they had their lives figured out have found life taking unexpected turns, or they've struggled to get jobs, and you begin to realise that there isn't really a set time for doing things. Try and do what feels right for you at the time it feels right. We only have a certain amount of control over things so you might as well take control when you can.

Yeah, I guess you're probably right about looking for something new, I appreciate you reading my OP. I have things I want to try, but I'm frightened to try them.. I guess I feel that by doing something drastically different than what I'm doing now, I'd be judged by all the people around me for not being content with just the experiences they provide. It feels like a leap of faith, being different, and I don't feel abundant enough to take the risk.

I know its probably bs though, I'd probably be fine, but I'm still scared.

how do they deal with it?