hi.
so i've been experiencing one thing which started around the time when i was maybe 8, when i was at a social/public event and when i went to the toilet i couldn't pee. it was a one off event that i couldn't pass urine but the older i get the more problems it's causing and the more often it's happening.
i know that it's called paruresis, and i know that its kind of common however i have never met anyone who has it as bad as me. some of my friends have experienced it lightly, but whenever they talk about it i'm too scared to tell them how badly i have it as they will probably take the piss (no pun intended lmao) out of me.
on a morning before school, i avoid drinking water as i know that i will need to go to the toilet at some point throughout the day. usually i do, but the only toilet i feel comfortable going to is in a separate block and it would be very weird if i suddenly walk over to there when i'm with my friends. there are times when before i go out somewhere i force myself to go to the toilet before so i don't have to in public, however if i'm out for prolonged periods of time i'm going to need to go eventually.
the reason why i'm making this thread is because it's coming in the way of everything i do. i can't think about going out somewhere as this worry that i might not be able to go to the toilet takes over my brain - it's even got to the point where if my parents are in their bedroom next door to the bathroom i struggle to go. i'm also going to a festival in august but i'm insanely worried about the fact that i'm not going to be able to go in the portaloos. the problem with it is that the more i worry about it happening, the more i need to actually go to the toilet.
so, if anyone out there has this, do you have any tricks i can do to solve it? i've tried the holding your breath method however that doesn't really work for me and i have no patience, as i worry that people will wonder why i'm in the toilet for so long without any noises of pee happening.
thanks in advance.