Do you get jealous when a guy/girl mentions other guys/girls?
I was good friends with someone, we had known each other for about 2-3 years, lost contact and then reconnected last year and became very close in the sense that we spoke all day everyday about absolutely everything for about 6 months, we'd say things like 'I'm ignoring everyone else and only speaking to you' etc etc.
This person has a VERY promiscuous past and has no interest in relationships and so I always knew that I could never love this person more than a friend. However, we did become really close and I saw them as someone really dear to me. Tbf I feel like our friendship was flirty banter and she did make me feel special, though I knew it would never develop into anything and I just couldn't be with someone with a past like hers so I didn't let myself catch feelings.
Okay so she would constantly mention other guys to me and I saw it as such a 'turn off' if that makes sense? Talking about guys she's slept with/guys who are into her, etc just always mentioning guys.
From my perspective I just thought it was really disrespectful to turn our convo into being about other guys ALL THE TIME.
I felt like it ruined great convos and also, I wasn't a gay best friend type to tell all of this to. One minute our convo would be quite flirty like we have a thing but then she'd shut it down by talking about people she's slept with or whatever.
So looking back, I realise and admit it was jealousy on my behalf, I'm just really competitive and it's the way I am I guess. But what are you even supposed to say to any of that?
One night she sent me screenshots of her convo with this boy who basically sends her money on paypal and he had just unblocked her after breaking up with his girlfriend, so in the screenshots he was sad about it and she was like "come back when you're the man I fell in love with" like seriously? Why send me that?
as it was constant I just got tired and bored of it and it got to the point where I completely lost interest and stopped speaking to her
This person has a VERY promiscuous past and has no interest in relationships and so I always knew that I could never love this person more than a friend. However, we did become really close and I saw them as someone really dear to me. Tbf I feel like our friendship was flirty banter and she did make me feel special, though I knew it would never develop into anything and I just couldn't be with someone with a past like hers so I didn't let myself catch feelings.
Okay so she would constantly mention other guys to me and I saw it as such a 'turn off' if that makes sense? Talking about guys she's slept with/guys who are into her, etc just always mentioning guys.
From my perspective I just thought it was really disrespectful to turn our convo into being about other guys ALL THE TIME.
I felt like it ruined great convos and also, I wasn't a gay best friend type to tell all of this to. One minute our convo would be quite flirty like we have a thing but then she'd shut it down by talking about people she's slept with or whatever.
So looking back, I realise and admit it was jealousy on my behalf, I'm just really competitive and it's the way I am I guess. But what are you even supposed to say to any of that?
One night she sent me screenshots of her convo with this boy who basically sends her money on paypal and he had just unblocked her after breaking up with his girlfriend, so in the screenshots he was sad about it and she was like "come back when you're the man I fell in love with" like seriously? Why send me that?
as it was constant I just got tired and bored of it and it got to the point where I completely lost interest and stopped speaking to her
(Posted too soon by accident) continued:
So after that night I left her know that I just cba and I didn't speak to her as I was losing interest. She kept making the effort to speak to me over the next 2 weeks and I acted off as I legit had no interest.
We ended up sorting things out and things were fine for a while until she started constantly talking about guys again. Like I just don't want to or need to hear it.
Anyway, after a few more weeks I had enough and her too and we literally just stopped speaking completely. It's been a few months now, but still have her on social media and today noticed she was talking about me on this anon website she uses where she answers questions from anonymous people.
She said loads of stuff about me like 'he got so jealous when I mentioned guys even though we were literally just friends and not dating or anything'. Then said that she would do it on purpose " to see if he got jealous" and that i was rude because I'd act off about it.
My question is, did I overreact and my 'jealousy' was out of order?
I feel like there is a double standard. I see that it's often deemed as normal for a girl to get jealous when a guy mentions other girls, but when a guy feels jealous he is ridiculed for it and made to seem like a total control freak?
Please discuss
So after that night I left her know that I just cba and I didn't speak to her as I was losing interest. She kept making the effort to speak to me over the next 2 weeks and I acted off as I legit had no interest.
We ended up sorting things out and things were fine for a while until she started constantly talking about guys again. Like I just don't want to or need to hear it.
Anyway, after a few more weeks I had enough and her too and we literally just stopped speaking completely. It's been a few months now, but still have her on social media and today noticed she was talking about me on this anon website she uses where she answers questions from anonymous people.
She said loads of stuff about me like 'he got so jealous when I mentioned guys even though we were literally just friends and not dating or anything'. Then said that she would do it on purpose " to see if he got jealous" and that i was rude because I'd act off about it.
My question is, did I overreact and my 'jealousy' was out of order?
I feel like there is a double standard. I see that it's often deemed as normal for a girl to get jealous when a guy mentions other girls, but when a guy feels jealous he is ridiculed for it and made to seem like a total control freak?
Please discuss
Anyone?
She thought you guys were friends. Not cool she dragged you on like that.
Original post by xobeauty
She thought you guys were friends. Not cool she dragged you on like that.
It's been almost 5 months since we stopped speaking, I got over it pretty fast but just today I saw that she was speaking about me. Saying she "cut me off" even though I'm the one who stopped speaking to her, lol.
It's just ridiculous how she made me sound in those posts. Claiming that I turned into a really bad and rude friend because I "didn't show interest" in her anymore.
I admit that I did start acting off whenever she'd mention guys she's slept with etc because it just wasn't appropriate nor was I interested. It got really annoying and I hated it.
Is it normal to feel jealous even though we were just friends?
from a girls point of view, i think you must have some sort of feelings for her because if my guy friend who i've known for 4/5 years now got with someone i would be happy for them and if they talked about their crush i would try and help them get with her and give him advice. But yes if he only talked about his girls then i would think he's trying to prove something and i'd get annoyed....
We don't speak anymore, but I did have a soft spot for her and she knew that.
This may sound stupid, but we had this on-going make believe thing where we'd act like a married couple with 2 kids. It was a joke that she started years ago and we just always kept it and in my head I guess this began to border on a little more than just friends, since friends don't talk about the things we said to each other.
I guess this is why it bothered me so much.
Other friends talk about their partners and it doesn't bother me at all, but with them I literally am just friends and have no special connection with.
This may sound stupid, but we had this on-going make believe thing where we'd act like a married couple with 2 kids. It was a joke that she started years ago and we just always kept it and in my head I guess this began to border on a little more than just friends, since friends don't talk about the things we said to each other.
I guess this is why it bothered me so much.
Other friends talk about their partners and it doesn't bother me at all, but with them I literally am just friends and have no special connection with.
Original post by Anonymous
from a girls point of view, i think you must have some sort of feelings for her because if my guy friend who i've known for 4/5 years now got with someone i would be happy for them and if they talked about their crush i would try and help them get with her and give him advice. But yes if he only talked about his girls then i would think he's trying to prove something and i'd get annoyed....
My last post is supposed to be in response to you but it didn't quote your reply. I'm new to this 😂
Original post by Anonymous
from a girls point of view, i think you must have some sort of feelings for her because if my guy friend who i've known for 4/5 years now got with someone i would be happy for them and if they talked about their crush i would try and help them get with her and give him advice. But yes if he only talked about his girls then i would think he's trying to prove something and i'd get annoyed....
Also, once we were talking about tattoos and she'd say things like "I should get your name tattooed on me so if I ever get lost then someone will return me to you"
Things like this were such a headf*ck.
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