Just found out my ex is now dating my best friend :)) AMA
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Original post by 999tigger
Two issues:
1. Him. You split, so no reason to feel sad becayse hes shown by doing this that he didnt really consider your feelings, so in effect lucky escape.
2. Her: She could have had the courtesy to tell you. I presume she wasnt the one.How did you find out?
Dont beat yourself up about it. there will be more exes. Just dont do the same and its one step closer to finding someone you like.
1. Him. You split, so no reason to feel sad becayse hes shown by doing this that he didnt really consider your feelings, so in effect lucky escape.
2. Her: She could have had the courtesy to tell you. I presume she wasnt the one.How did you find out?
Dont beat yourself up about it. there will be more exes. Just dont do the same and its one step closer to finding someone you like.
heard it through someone who knows my friend, yeahh i'm feeling a little better already
Original post by Pikachū
You cheated on him. Stop trying to get sympathy.
no, this was a separate issue. we weren't together at this point as i said we were on and off all year. he slept with 2 girls on our "breaks" and all i did was kiss a boy and i had every right to so don't try to twist my words. I dont want sympathy either i mean its nice most people are being lovely but i just wanted to distract myself
Original post by 999tigger
You dont believe in loyalty or friendship?
Why do you think that I don't believe in friendship? I'm not sure whether to say "yes" to loyalty, because it depends how you define it to be honest.
Original post by _princessxox
i cant believe it either haha she picked him over me I've been there for her for 6 years
thank you x
thank you x
She's fake
You deserve better
Feel better soon lovely x
Original post by _gcx
That's a potentially gross assumption, though. Relationships can end without either being "wronged", etc. Relationships can end with both individuals continuing to hold a friendship. I would not infer this from the fact that the OP is upset, since people apply this attitude, even when the relationship ended "peacefully", and I somewhat understand that, but the discussion of "loyalty", is simply nonsense to me.
No, I did not assume anything. I replied to the post where OP stated:
Original post by _princessxox
lol i think i had every right to assume my best friend wouldn't go behind my back and date the boy who broke my heart a million times
- from which can be reasonably inferred that he had wronged her, or been unjust and contemptible towards her.
How is loyalty nonsense? We keep our friends close to us and it is wrong for friends to get romantically involved with ex-partners as there was once an element of romantic attraction present. Mixing these things up is going to evoke feelings of jealousy, mistrust and confusion.
Humans are naturally competitive and mostly cynical so to assume that everything will be fine even if there was an amicable split is naive.
Therefore bonds of friendship will be broken and there will be no trust there. It is important to stay loyal to preserve friendships, and if someone is not loyal you must really question how dear they do hold you.
Original post by _princessxox
she knows what type of guy she is i dont need to remind her
i was with him for a year on and off
we were best friends for 6 years
i was with him for a year on and off
we were best friends for 6 years
Yeah i can't lie i'd be pissed off too
but if you can act like you don't care don't care
but if its too much and u cant look past it
just drop her
Original post by SinsNotTragedies
No, I did not assume anything. I replied to the post where OP stated:
- from which can be reasonably inferred that he had wronged her, or been unjust and contemptible towards her.
How is loyalty nonsense? We keep our friends close to us and it is wrong for friends to get romantically involved with ex-partners as there was once an element of romantic attraction present. Mixing these things up is going to evoke feelings of jealousy, mistrust and confusion.
Humans are naturally competitive and mostly cynical so to assume that everything will be fine even if there was an amicable split is naive.
Therefore bonds of friendship will be broken and there will be no trust there. It is important to stay loyal to preserve friendships, and if someone is not loyal you must really question how dear they do hold you.
- from which can be reasonably inferred that he had wronged her, or been unjust and contemptible towards her.
How is loyalty nonsense? We keep our friends close to us and it is wrong for friends to get romantically involved with ex-partners as there was once an element of romantic attraction present. Mixing these things up is going to evoke feelings of jealousy, mistrust and confusion.
Humans are naturally competitive and mostly cynical so to assume that everything will be fine even if there was an amicable split is naive.
Therefore bonds of friendship will be broken and there will be no trust there. It is important to stay loyal to preserve friendships, and if someone is not loyal you must really question how dear they do hold you.
I did miss that post.
I wasn't calling the concept of loyalty nonsense, of course, and I'm not disregarding the concept entirely, (it seems that I either haven't made myself clear or wrong deductions have been made) I just do not personally understand the statement that I have bolded.
Original post by BashCrash
Yeah i can't lie i'd be pissed off too
but if you can act like you don't care don't care
but if its too much and u cant look past it
just drop her
but if you can act like you don't care don't care
but if its too much and u cant look past it
just drop her
she didn't have the decency to be honest with me or be loyal to me so shes definitely getting dropped, i would never do that to her so i deserve the same respect back
Original post by _princessxox
she didn't have the decency to be honest with me or be loyal to me so shes definitely getting dropped, i would never do that to her so i deserve the same respect back
Fair enough
just look for other dudes
don't fret over an abusive dude and a bad friend
YOLO
Original post by Moura
Because if you are friends with someone you don't do things that will hurt them? If you value their friendship and care about them. It is about the friendship not the partner. It is a sign they don't give a crap about you and are selfish and just generally not a nice person.
But I don't get it.
Why does it hurt them?
Why can I be friends with this person, but then go out with his/her ex? They're not dating my friend anymore, now I can.
What am I missing?
Original post by _gcx
I did miss that post.
I wasn't calling the concept of loyalty nonsense, of course, and I'm not disregarding the concept entirely, (it seems that I either haven't made myself clear or wrong deductions have been made) I just do not personally understand the statement that I have bolded.
I wasn't calling the concept of loyalty nonsense, of course, and I'm not disregarding the concept entirely, (it seems that I either haven't made myself clear or wrong deductions have been made) I just do not personally understand the statement that I have bolded.
It was the post I was replying to...
I went on to explain it - where there were once romantic feelings there will fester jealousy because humans are primitive in feeling like they have a claim to people - we are territorial. Even where the sparks have fizzled away or the relationship has withered away, there is always a part of your life represented in the relationship between you and an ex. If the new relationship works out, it can lead to the ex feeling lament or wondering what could have been.
You might see your friend happy with your ex and wonder why you never felt that happy, or you might feel resentful that you never brought out the best in that person. This is why it is best to stay away.
Original post by telepathicnine
But I don't get it.
Why does it hurt them?
Why can I be friends with this person, but then go out with his/her ex? They're not dating my friend anymore, now I can.
What am I missing?
Why does it hurt them?
Why can I be friends with this person, but then go out with his/her ex? They're not dating my friend anymore, now I can.
What am I missing?
Imagine you have pizza
and the pizza runs from you
You are sad because it was yours
now the pizza ran to your best friend and they are eating your pizza
even tho they know the pizza was yours first
and you love the pizza
This is the worst analogy
Original post by BashCrash
Imagine you have pizza
and the pizza runs from you
You are sad because it was yours
now the pizza ran to your best friend and they are eating your pizza
even tho they know the pizza was yours first
and you love the pizza
This is the worst analogy
and the pizza runs from you
You are sad because it was yours
now the pizza ran to your best friend and they are eating your pizza
even tho they know the pizza was yours first
and you love the pizza
This is the worst analogy
I actually think you smashed it tbh
10/10
Original post by telepathicnine
But I don't get it.
Why does it hurt them?
Why can I be friends with this person, but then go out with his/her ex? They're not dating my friend anymore, now I can.
What am I missing?
Why does it hurt them?
Why can I be friends with this person, but then go out with his/her ex? They're not dating my friend anymore, now I can.
What am I missing?
if you respect and love someone like my best friend should, then she wouldn't date my ex who she knows i don't want in my life because he hurt me so much.
when you've been best friends with someone for 6 years and always had their back and you assumed they always had yours, then to your surprise you find out they're going behind your back and lying to your face as well as not staying loyal to you, that's a HUGE betrayal.
Original post by BashCrash
Imagine you have pizza
and the pizza runs from you
You are sad because it was yours
now the pizza ran to your best friend and they are eating your pizza
even tho they know the pizza was yours first
and you love the pizza
This is the worst analogy
and the pizza runs from you
You are sad because it was yours
now the pizza ran to your best friend and they are eating your pizza
even tho they know the pizza was yours first
and you love the pizza
This is the worst analogy
Huh that kinds makes sense actually!
But I'm still confused. What if I got rid of the pizza? Then, that best friend would be in everyright to eat the pizza without me feeling sad
Original post by BashCrash
Imagine you have pizza
and the pizza runs from you
You are sad because it was yours
now the pizza ran to your best friend and they are eating your pizza
even tho they know the pizza was yours first
and you love the pizza
This is the worst analogy
and the pizza runs from you
You are sad because it was yours
now the pizza ran to your best friend and they are eating your pizza
even tho they know the pizza was yours first
and you love the pizza
This is the worst analogy
ahaha I love this im sure even the simple minded MIGHT understand this!
Too many snakes about these days I tell you
You're never getting into med school. Med students are focused on their studies not sleeping around like sluts.
Original post by telepathicnine
But I don't get it.
Why does it hurt them?
Why can I be friends with this person, but then go out with his/her ex? They're not dating my friend anymore, now I can.
What am I missing?
Why does it hurt them?
Why can I be friends with this person, but then go out with his/her ex? They're not dating my friend anymore, now I can.
What am I missing?
Sorry I don't know how to explain emotions to people who don't understand them... I will try...
A lot of relationships don't end happily. There is a lot of pain and hurt involved. People don't break up because they're happy in a relationship. If you do break up, your best friend is who supports you and who you turn to and confide in. They probably know everything about the break up. If they then go and pursue a relationship with the person that caused you that pain, knowing that it will probably hurt you, they are not your friend. Especially if they don't ask you first if you would mind or be hurt by it and do it behind your back.
You can go and do it, sure. But it's a **** thing to do and a sign of a bad character... expect to have no friends.
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