NEW YEARS EVE - Spend with Boyfriend or Friends?

Okay so, I’m in quite the situation.

Basically I met my boyfriend in Uni last year so this will be our first new year’s as a couple. For the past three years my 2 best friends have spent New Years with their boyfriends, often leaving me either to find my own plans or sat at home on my own. This year they have both decided not to make new year about their boyfriends and want to go to the pub all together (including my other best friend, so there would be 4 of us) I know this would end up into us bumping into old friends and probably heading to a house party somewhere which would be really fun. However, my problem is that my boyfriend lives 2 hours away and has a New Year’s Eve house party he wants to go to with his friends. I don’t really know his friends very well but do know they are from a completely different world to me. I am pretty much the definition of the girl next door and would say I am quite high maintence and love all things girly. The girls that would be at this party are very into drinking and drugs and are quite edgy so I already know I don’t fit in with them. I know I would be with my boyfriend all night and wouldn’t exactly be left with them but can’t help but feel like I would be on edge...like I have no clue what on earth I would even wear because me and my friends from home would usually get really dressed up for New Years (even if it is just a house party) but I know these girls aren’t like that and have very different/edgy styles. I don’t really want to spend a New Years at a party with strangers that will all be smoking and doing drugs (which I personally really don’t agree with) and be looking on my phone of snapchats of my three best friends together but at the same time don’t want to not spend my first New Year’s Eve with my boyfriend without him and possibly just spend it with my friends in a pub (if we don’t bump into anyone). I also think about all the times my friends have left me to spend New Years with their boyfriends over the years and feel like I should do the same but don’t want to be left out of all the photos and fun they may have. I also haven’t told my boyfriend or my friends what I am doing yet and know that my friends would be annoyed if I didn’t spend it with them and my boyfriend would be annoyed if I didn’t spend it with him! I am so stuck on what to do! Please help!

Reply 1

BitOfIntellect

4

Original post by Anonymous

Okay so, I’m in quite the situation.

Basically I met my boyfriend in Uni last year so this will be our first new year’s as a couple. For the past three years my 2 best friends have spent New Years with their boyfriends, often leaving me either to find my own plans or sat at home on my own. This year they have both decided not to make new year about their boyfriends and want to go to the pub all together (including my other best friend, so there would be 4 of us) I know this would end up into us bumping into old friends and probably heading to a house party somewhere which would be really fun. However, my problem is that my boyfriend lives 2 hours away and has a New Year’s Eve house party he wants to go to with his friends. I don’t really know his friends very well but do know they are from a completely different world to me. I am pretty much the definition of the girl next door and would say I am quite high maintence and love all things girly. The girls that would be at this party are very into drinking and drugs and are quite edgy so I already know I don’t fit in with them. I know I would be with my boyfriend all night and wouldn’t exactly be left with them but can’t help but feel like I would be on edge...like I have no clue what on earth I would even wear because me and my friends from home would usually get really dressed up for New Years (even if it is just a house party) but I know these girls aren’t like that and have very different/edgy styles. I don’t really want to spend a New Years at a party with strangers that will all be smoking and doing drugs (which I personally really don’t agree with) and be looking on my phone of snapchats of my three best friends together but at the same time don’t want to not spend my first New Year’s Eve with my boyfriend without him and possibly just spend it with my friends in a pub (if we don’t bump into anyone). I also think about all the times my friends have left me to spend New Years with their boyfriends over the years and feel like I should do the same but don’t want to be left out of all the photos and fun they may have. I also haven’t told my boyfriend or my friends what I am doing yet and know that my friends would be annoyed if I didn’t spend it with them and my boyfriend would be annoyed if I didn’t spend it with him! I am so stuck on what to do! Please help!

I guess there's pros and cons to all this. If you were to go with friends, you know you're going to be comfortable with them and since you haven't spent the last few new years with them, its a nice change. If you were to go with your boyfriend, its a leap out of your comfort zone, you'll get to meet new people, including your boyfriend's friends if you haven't met them already, and experience something completely different to parties you're used to.

The cons are really just same old same old for being with friends and you might end up feeling lonely at your boyfriend's party. If you did decide to go to with your boyfriend, dress like you usually do. I don't think anyone would mind you dressing like you want to dress.

If possible, would you be able to get your friends to go to the party your boyfriend is going to? That way, everyone's happy.

Ultimately, it depends on how you feel about being pushed out your comfort zone and who would get the most annoyed that you didn't come. I hope this helps a bit x

Reply 2

lucyreid1023

2

Go with your mates, everyone makes NYE out to a bigger deal than it actually needs to be anyway so I wouldn't worry about not spending your first one together. Your boyfriend is just hanging with his own mates anyway and you can see him in the days after. It's important to maintain friendships when you're in a relationship and especially if you felt marginalised by your mates previously, you wouldn't want to do the same to them xx

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

spend nye with your mates and see your boyfriend on new years day or day after. i think you'll have more fun with your friends at pub then at a party you don't feel comfortable at. and don't feel bad about ditching your boyfriend because he's already decided he's spending it with friends at this party, you're more of a plus one. if he was that bothered (not saying he should be, because nye parties are the best) then he would forget the party and ask to spend it with just you. again nothing wrong with his behaviour, but i don't think he sees it as a big deal to be spending it with a s.o. because really nye is best spent with friends.