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I'm pregnant but I'm thinking of getting an abortion

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I'm a little surprised by the number of people who are falling over themselves to tell you to abort your child.

You need to remember that whilst you're living with this impossible decision for the rest of your life, they will have long since forgotten the 20 seconds they took to write an internet comment telling you to do it.

I appreciate that you wanted an outside perspective but ultimately, this is going to have to be your decision. Whilst an abortion makes some sense in your situation, and that may well be the outcome you ultimately choose, I would encourage you to not think of it as if it were nothing, hardly an important decision at all, based on some of the comments you received here.

This is a big deal and ultimately, only you can really know what's best in the long term.
You should also give a little thought to the prospect of putting the child up for adoption, this would spare you the early motherhood but also avoid the need for an abortion.

EDIT: I forgot to say, whatever you choose, I truly hope it works out for you. Good luck. :smile:

(edited 6 years ago)

Reply 21

Ray_Shadows

wow what a piece of ****ing **** , i would tell his wife

Reply 22

GalGirl101

Original post by Anonymous

Conversely, 'I wouldn't go to uni. You have a child to think about and when they're older you can go to uni as a proud mother of a wonderful and loving child'
There's always another perspective. It depends on your priorities and values. I would rather promote a culture of life and responsibility than death and recklessness. I'm not judging your opinions, but abortion is far more serious and heartbreaking than anyone in this thread advocating it seems to convey. I jut hope this woman comes to the right decision for her and she has no regret or shame.

She wanted opinions so I gave them to her. Also not everyone is mentally able to look after a child. While I agree that having a child is an amazing, not everyone wants a child. Nor is everyone ready for a child when it happens. The OP doesn't have the means to support a child financially and while I know what I would do in her situation I am not her so I will not speak on her behalf.

However, she has to consider the practical aspect other than "you'll be a proud mum when you go to uni"

Reply 23

Keet

If you have an abortion that's your choice but don't wait long do it early and cut your ties even if he tries to rekindle the relationship at a later date talking rubbish that he is no longer with wife that would probably be a lie to just get sex. .

No you are not 16 but not far from it u just came out of the teenaged years.

If you choose to have the child the dramas and emotional pressure that is coming your way prepare yourself.

You may receive no financial help from him and u will have to rely on the state until the child is old enough to get bk to whatever studying or career u started as nursury fees these days need to very good wages.

Nothing is impossible but if you don't have family support it will be extremely difficult.

Whatever your decision make sure you have thought about everything including the fact that he may disown his child and your child may grow up without a father.

If you choose to have the child make sure you plan your future education education education sort yourself out make your child proud and then stick your two fingers up

All the best look after yourself

Reply 24

likeamotownbeat

I think this stuff is a little above our paygrade. This isn't really the kind of thing that can be decided with strangers on the internet. It really is wholeheartedly your own decision.

Reply 25

<..........>

Original post by likeamotownbeat

I think this stuff is a little above our paygrade. This isn't really the kind of thing that can be decided with strangers on the internet. It really is wholeheartedly your own decision.

And finally, sense was spoken.

Reply 26

Anonymous #5

Original post by Anonymous

Hello
So I am 20 years old. I am pregnant. The guy I was with left me. He is 39 and married with 2 kids however, i was not aware of this. When I confronted him he just dumped me on the spot and ran back to his wife. We were together for a year.

Obviously now i am pregnant and he does not know and i am not planning on telling him after the way he treated me. I feel like it's just no business of his and i doubt he would give a **** anyway.

Now I'm just really thinking of an abortion because I am a bit young to have a kid. I Just figured out what i want to do with my life. I am of to uni this September to start a nursing degree which i am looking forward to. And I feel like being pregnant is just going to hold me back and i am gonna miss out.

Obviously this would be completely different if i were 16 and pregnant. But i am 20. I'm not too young to have a kid it's what my mum tells me. This is true but having a kid would mean i cant put myself anymore and i would have to give up on my dreams and plus i would be a single mum with little support. I really need an outside prespective on whether abortion would be the right move for me or not.
Thanks x

Personally I would say go for an abortion. I had one myself a couple of years ago, purely because I wasn’t ready, working part-time, living at home and going to uni (plus I couldn’t face putting the child up for adoption :colondollar:

) and I’d much rather wait until I have a decent job/wage and living in my own place before having children. It was never a situation I wanted to find myself in, but I felt like I was making the right choice at the time. Do what is best for you :smile:

Reply 27

username3829394

Have an abortion! you won't be able to do anything once that child is here.

Reply 28

CWilliamson

Original post by Anonymous

I'm sorry if I came across offensive, I really didn't mean to. There are a lot of wonderful young mums like you who are strong enough to take on this responsibility and i feel I'm just not one of them. I'm sure having a child is beautiful thing and i would like to experience it but not so early on in my life. I do adore the family life. If im gonna have a child i would rather be it with someone i love. I would want to be financially stable etc that's why I just feel I'm not ready.

Do you mind if i ask if you're a single mum yourself? And do you have a lot support from family and friends? Taking into account we are the same age and you're a young mum yourself i'm sure you can understand where I'm coming from x

I completely understand where you are coming from and I don't judge you at all. When I found out I was pregnant (both times) I seriously thought about having an abortion. I didnt want to be a mum full stop, never mind a young mum. I was 17 when I got pregnant with my first, 18 when I had him. I'm now 20 with a few months old baby; And I count my blessings every single day that I chose to keep them both.

My only advice to you when making a decision is DONT make it on the basis of money, not being with the father or future ambitions. Ambitions can wait, theres plenty of charities and fundings that will help with the financial costs and like I said before, you wouldn't be the first or last single mum. If you choose to have an abortion do it because you simply don't want to be a mother, or else you have a high chance of regretting it. I'm not a single mother as it stands, but I nearly was on a few occasions and I quite often have to do things on my own anyway. So I understand why thats scary. I'm lucky that I have supportive family and friends as well, I know that would make it harder if you didnt.

Please ignore the comments of "don't murder a baby" or "you should have an abortion" because they don't help at all. I asked for advice like yourself when I was expecting my second and it messed with my head so badly. Apologies its so long.

Feel free to message me if you want a proper chat. I don't judge you at all and I hope I've shown im unbiased -I'd be a hypocrite otherwise-

(edited 6 years ago)

Reply 29

Keet

Original post by likeamotownbeat

I think this stuff is a little above our paygrade. This isn't really the kind of thing that can be decided with strangers on the internet. It really is wholeheartedly your own decision.

True I suppose we don't want to get the blame either as its a serious situation the pros and cons have been highlighted

Reply 30

Anonymous #4

Original post by RockyDennis

I would do it for sure.

Alternatively, have the baby and find a foster family.

Every time you wear protection or she uses a morning after pill or whatever, you're essentially preventing a life from being created too. But eveyrone does that. I would just do it fukit.

There's a difference between preventing life from being created and ending life, and you know it.

Reply 31

RockyDennis

Original post by Anonymous

There's a difference between preventing life from being created and ending life, and you know it.

There is no difference between contraception and a very early abortion.

A bunch of cells are not ****ing alive, it's just feelz making you see some random cells stuck together as being human. It's no more human than a sperm or egg cell if you stop it very early.

Morning after pill is the same thing as abortion, since fertilization has occurred.

I'm on a lot of tren btw it's making me psychotically angry. I think I'm gonna just come off of this ****, Anavar is better.