feeling depressed.

So, i love singing and acting and believe i have a general talent for it. Ive been in school and sixth form productions as main roles and everyone always tells me how talented i am. As much as i love singing, i don't know whether to do it at uni. A few months back i went to audition at trinity laban and guildford for the musical theatre courses. I loved guildford, however i didn't get a good vibe from trinity. everyone was stuck up their own arses and weren't very nice. i didn't get into any of them, which lowered my confidence. i should of applied to more places. this is going to sound terrible, but i feel like i can't really be bothered. but i rlly rlly want to do acting and singing, but i think not getting into those 2 places has massively lowered my confidence and has made me feel *****y about applying to more places. there are so many amazing actors and singers and dancers, and i feel like I'm kidding myself which is the wrong attitude to have, so many of these talented people have incredible motivation and i just don't, but i can't imagine not singing or acting, i can't imagine doing anything else. right now I'm very depressed, i feel like I'm not good at anything else, because I'm not and I'm not passionate about anything else. i keep crying and going out drinking and smoking just to help myself to not be so depressed, but i am and its just hurting. some of my friends have got into uni and are going in september which is going to make me feel even worse, as i want to go to university so badly! i really do! so I'm going to take a gap year, i may go away for 2 months to the philipines to do some volunteer work. but I'm just completely lost on what to do for myself in this year, do i audition for more places? i also really want to be a singer on a cruise ship, i think travelling and doing what i love every night would be amazing. but then again i still feel lost and AGAIN NOT MOTIVATED because I'm just really depressed. I know i am good and have an awesome talent, but I'm sick of feeling depressed about my talents. ANY advice would be amazing!