In love with my GP

Reply 40

Stebe

9

Original post by Bang Outta Order

will it actually risk her career for dating a patient...? :hmmm:

its such a weird bizarre thing that there might not even be a rule for it yet??? lol

HCPC are really strict about that sort of thing.

Reply 41

Anonymous #1

OP

what would happen if a doctor was no longer a patients doctor, and then years later happened to bump into them socially and they ended up dating/having sex/whatever. Would this matter? Just to clarify, this is not what I am intending to do just playing devils advocate

Original post by Stebe

HCPC are really strict about that sort of thing.

Reply 42

Bang Outta Order

20

Original post by Anonymous

what would happen if a doctor was no longer a patients doctor, and then years later happened to bump into them socially and they ended up dating/having sex/whatever. Would this matter? Just to clarify, this is not what I am intending to do just playing devils advocate

you're really serious about this huh...thinking long term down the road worst case scenario and all lol

i'll say one thing, i think you should be careful. high chance your doctor does not want you.

Reply 43

DrawTheLine

22

Original post by Anonymous

what would happen if a doctor was no longer a patients doctor, and then years later happened to bump into them socially and they ended up dating/having sex/whatever. Would this matter? Just to clarify, this is not what I am intending to do just playing devils advocate

could you help out?

Reply 44

Anonymous #3

Original post by Anonymous

If I do this can I have a relationship with her?

No. Doctors are advised not to get into a relationship with anyone they have ever looked after so this would not be possible.

Reply 45

ThatOldGuy

19

Original post by Anonymous

How?

It wouldnt be unprofessional of me to have feelings for her as I am not in the medical profession?
It wouldn't be unprofessional of her to treat me for my illness if she doesnt know I like her that way because she doesnt know?

do other people not fall for their doctors? I am sure they must do

It's not uncommon to develop feelings for people who care for you. Chances are, she knows you have a thing for her and is choosing to ignore it because that's the easiest way so long as you don't bring it up. Go nuts, keep going if you want. Just know it ain't going anywhere.

Reply 46

Anonymous #1

OP

Thank you for your advice. I don’t see how she would know but either way I guess it doesn’t matter if I don’t act on it :smile:

Original post by ThatOldGuy

It's not uncommon to develop feelings for people who care for you. Chances are, she knows you have a thing for her and is choosing to ignore it because that's the easiest way so long as you don't bring it up. Go nuts, keep going if you want. Just know it ain't going anywhere.

Reply 47

Anonymous #1

OP

Thank you. What does it mean by vulnerable? Do I count as vulnerable because I am mentally ill? I don’t see myself as that but I want to understand

Original post by Anonymous

I have never heard of this - how do u know about it? it doesnt say it on any of the BPD symptoms

It's not one of the official 9 symptoms but it's just super common within the disorder. I've been calling people my favourite people for as long as i can remember, it's only when i googled the term that i found it was common for bpd people to have that. It makes sense since we get attached to people so quickly and easily if they are kind to us. It sounds like your GP is your FP. What separates a FP from like a best friend is that your whole entire wellbeing can be centred around them, like if you upset them it will totally destroy your day and if you make them happy it will make you feel really good and like they wont abandon you. It is easy for us to become vulnerable in this situation and get taken advantage of for our loyalty but equally we can do unhealthy behaviours to the other party so it's about being self aware enough for it not to get toxic if you can help it.

Reply 49

Anonymous #1

OP

This makes sense, but I am sexually attracted to her too. I have thoughts about her, which I obviously won’t go into here lol

Original post by CoolCavy

It's not one of the official 9 symptoms but it's just super common within the disorder. I've been calling people my favourite people for as long as i can remember, it's only when i googled the term that i found it was common for bpd people to have that. It makes sense since we get attached to people so quickly and easily if they are kind to us. It sounds like your GP is your FP. What separates a FP from like a best friend is that your whole entire wellbeing can be centred around them, like if you upset them it will totally destroy your day and if you make them happy it will make you feel really good and like they wont abandon you. It is easy for us to become vulnerable in this situation and get taken advantage of for our loyalty but equally we can do unhealthy behaviours to the other party so it's about being self aware enough for it not to get toxic if you can help it.

Reply 50

It's****ingWOODY

20

Original post by Bang Outta Order

i never wanted to **** any of my gp's :lol:

. my one before last was muslim. i changed him and got a ginger guy who reminds me of willy wonka. creeped me out as well so i changed him and got a korean. didnt like him because i felt he was advising me through his culture and not professional advice. he said stop drinking so much i was like **** you, do i have high blood pressure or not. so when i went back he refused to see me :toofunny:

and i have a mixed race african now, nice chap but he sounds like an Eddie Murphy character.

oh for the love of god can't i just get someone normal please.

One of the GPs I used to see (I go to the same practice but there are a handful working there and they seem to come and go) was Finnish, she's pretty cute, I'd definitely have banged but I was a bit worried that if I asked her for her number it'd go on my notes that I tried being inappropriate with her or some s*** :lol:

Dunno though, when I was seeing her regularly I was coming off a cut and was proper shredded, I went to her about a problem and she asked me to take my shirt off to examine me and her eyes proper lit up when I got the shirt off :rofl:

I'd definitely bang the nurse who does my blood tests, she's in her 40s but she's such a MlLF, I swear she's got fake tiddies an' all :biggrin:

Yeah though, apart from those they've all been middle aged men or horrible looking women who I wouldn't touch with a bargepole.

(edited 5 years ago)

Reply 51

Leo.P

4

https://www.verywellmind.com/help-ive-fallen-in-love-with-my-therapist-2337585

There is actually a term in psychoanalytic literature that refers to a patient's feelings about his or her therapist known as transference, which is when feelings for a former authority figure are "transferred" onto a therapist.

Reply 52

LemonCoffee7

8

Yeah a lot of patients can mistake a doctor's caring nature to something more, and It doesn't help the fact thay they are attractive or witty. They may attract patients unknowingly.

But doctors cannot see a patient as anything more than a patient. They will always have a line that they won't cross. Its sort of a prespective that they develop during their medical school.

But I agree with other people in this forum; if you love your doctor, even if they are unaware and dont reciprocate your feelings, you will still endanger their career, reputation and future. Any wrong word and your doctor loses everything.

My advice is to change doctors.
I know its hard and this must be difficult for you.

Reply 53

Anonymous #4

You're wasting your own time. Change your doctor and forget about her, nothing is going to come from you fancying your doctor besides disappointment

It sounds like you're misinterpreting kindness as romantic interest. It's unlikely she is into you.

Original post by That'sGreat

find borderline personality disorder an attractive quality and finally, begin to like you. But sure.

I dont think anyone finds it 'attractive' that's like saying you go out of your way to date people with diabetes, but it sounds like you would rule out everyone with it on the basis of that one feature, which is just tarring everyone with the same brush. Dating someone with bpd isnt comparable in impossibility to turning a straight woman gay.

Reply 56

Anonymous #6

Original post by Anonymous

Thanks but I am 25. People develop feelings for each other all the time, it just happens that I have fallen for my GP. It is understandable surely because she is clearly very clever, caring, interesting and beautiful

I totally feel you!! I really do!!!
I feel the same way about my teacher!!! I am 19 years of age. She is so so caring and we always joke around and are sarcastic and shes been so supportive when I came out to her and told her some personal problems of mine. I am at uni but still do stay on contact with her. She is still here to support me with my sexuality, she is a lesbian too. And she just is so nice. But I would not ever think of telling her. One because it will put her at risk of losing her career and two she is married.
I am the only student she stays in touch with and I am so grateful. I am the one who asked her if i could and she agreed. With her i can just be myself. I've told her shes an angel, and how she is such an amazing person whom I trust immensely.

My advice to you would be to not let your GP find out. As this can be difficult for the both of you. It is hard but if you want to still see her then do not change doctors but keep your feelings to yourself.
You cannot control who you like. I was so so upset when I had to leave school but I am so so grateful that I'm still in touch with her and am still welcome to go and visit school.

Hope this helps :smile:

Reply 57

Anonymous #7

Do not mistake infatuation for being in love.