How to just be friends with someone you were dating?
Basically, this guy and I have been dating for a month and all was going well but I felt that he became distant so I asked him what was going on. He basically said that we should just be friends because it would be hard to do a long distance thing when you both go to uni in September. What do I do?? I feel pretty heartbroken but he still wants to meet as friends?????? help pls
*we, not 'you'
Original post by Anonymous
Basically, this guy and I have been dating for a month and all was going well but I felt that he became distant so I asked him what was going on. He basically said that we should just be friends because it would be hard to do a long distance thing when you both go to uni in September. What do I do?? I feel pretty heartbroken but he still wants to meet as friends?????? help pls
You can't be. Don't meet him.
you don't... unless the reason was i turned into a zombie and i knew my partner couldn't live a sexless marriage so would break up and still be friends cause they would understand
idk what to do, the guy is wanting something in the future maybe???? i've not dated or had a boyfriend before so maybe it's just because it was new and exciting for me that i just want to hold on to it://
Original post by Anonymous
idk what to do, the guy is wanting something in the future maybe???? i've not dated or had a boyfriend before so maybe it's just because it was new and exciting for me that i just want to hold on to it://
He doesn't want anything in the future, he's saying lets be friends because it'll be easier on you. You're clearly an emotional wreck.
that's what he mf said so that's why I said it lmaooo, I'm not an emotional wreck, my feelings are just hurt
Original post by Xarao
He doesn't want anything in the future, he's saying lets be friends because it'll be easier on you. You're clearly an emotional wreck.
Original post by Anonymous
that's what he mf said so that's why I said it lmaooo, I'm not an emotional wreck, my feelings are just hurt
You'll move on in due time.
I've just come out of a long term relationship and we tried the whole 'being friends' thing for a bit, but sadly because of how acrimonious the split was (lots of lying and deceit on her side), being friends just didn't work and we don't speak any more.
It doesn't sound that way for you, which is good, but there are some things to bear in mind. Firstly, will you or he use this as an excuse to try to be in a relationship again, i.e. can you maintain those boundaries which come with friendship and recognise that you're just friends now? If the answer is no, then you should avoid being friends: you'll only feel fresh heartache down the line. Secondly, can you separate the break up from your friendship? Will you hold that against him or still have those feelings of love for him? Again, if that's the case, then avoid the friendship. Thirdly, is this a kind way of him letting you down gently? He mentions still being friends which will obviously be long distance, but says that a long-distance relationship can't work. I know that there are different levels of commitment involved, but perhaps he used that excuse to spare your feelings. However, whatever you decide, it must be your decision, not mine, and I only offer some thoughts on things to consider.
It doesn't sound that way for you, which is good, but there are some things to bear in mind. Firstly, will you or he use this as an excuse to try to be in a relationship again, i.e. can you maintain those boundaries which come with friendship and recognise that you're just friends now? If the answer is no, then you should avoid being friends: you'll only feel fresh heartache down the line. Secondly, can you separate the break up from your friendship? Will you hold that against him or still have those feelings of love for him? Again, if that's the case, then avoid the friendship. Thirdly, is this a kind way of him letting you down gently? He mentions still being friends which will obviously be long distance, but says that a long-distance relationship can't work. I know that there are different levels of commitment involved, but perhaps he used that excuse to spare your feelings. However, whatever you decide, it must be your decision, not mine, and I only offer some thoughts on things to consider.
If this is your first proper relationship then it will hurt more, especially when you’ve not done anything wrong
Simply, his feelings aren’t strong enough at this point for him to sustain a long distance relationship
So he’s being fair in not stringing you along. Long distance is hard enough without throwing first year uni into the mix. It’s unlikely that you’ll become friends. It just doesn’t happen with exes. But that doesn’t mean you can’t be friendly with each other if you bump into each other. For your own sake don’t contact him. Allow yourself time to heal and be kind to yourself. Spend time with your family and friends and prepare for uni. You’re still young and you’ll spend time with many people before you find “the one”.
You’re hurting now but it will get better. Good luck
Simply, his feelings aren’t strong enough at this point for him to sustain a long distance relationship
So he’s being fair in not stringing you along. Long distance is hard enough without throwing first year uni into the mix. It’s unlikely that you’ll become friends. It just doesn’t happen with exes. But that doesn’t mean you can’t be friendly with each other if you bump into each other. For your own sake don’t contact him. Allow yourself time to heal and be kind to yourself. Spend time with your family and friends and prepare for uni. You’re still young and you’ll spend time with many people before you find “the one”.
You’re hurting now but it will get better. Good luck
You can just be friends with an ex (one of my best friends is actually an ex), but both of you have to be very clear that you will only ever be friends and the relationship is over for a reason. If he’s just trying to be friends because your relationship would actually work but distance is the problem, it will be nearly impossible for you to be friends as the relationship isn’t really over in either of your heads
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