The Student Room Group

Narcisstic father wants track my location

There is a lot more to this story but generally speaking my trash father is a narcisstic ******* who’s been trying to find our mistakes or wrongs somehow to use against us.

Simply he and my mum don’t get well with each other including family wise and for some reason my father has developed in a way where he thinks finding sht against is the subject, and he wants to brag and make us look bad to others, probably so that if they do break up (hopefully) he can come out looking good.

Obviously my thoughts and behaviours I have to hide to avoid disturbing the peace.

He randomly approached me to ask for my location and to accept it and that I have no choice.

1m 19.

Also I don’t like things like location tracking it’s so invasive and it feels like an attack. Especially from him because he only wants to somehow find some wrong.

(He did this with insta too, he tracked us down and looked at all our following and tried to accuse of us dating boys whatever) we’re a conservative family.

Point is I don’t like location tracking regardless but especially from him. His intentions are well clear.

But as you would expect he took it as ‘you’re trying to hide something from aren’t you, are you doing something bad’

Now you may say if you’re doing anything bad just let him do it but here’s the thing, when I go to work and go on breaks or before my shift I go somewhere else, he is the kind of guy to twist it to make it seem like I did bad.

Idk what to do
You’re an adult. Tell him to do one.
Reply 2
Original post by moonkatt
You’re an adult. Tell him to do one.


He’s abusive and gets aggressive real fast.

He’s just going to get real aggressive and start accusing me of sht.

I don’t usually care but I don’t want to disturb the peace especially since it’s so fragile
You do NOT need to share your location with your father if you are 19 years of age. It is as simple as that.
Reply 4
Original post by xoxAngel_Kxox
You do NOT need to share your location with your father if you are 19 years of age. It is as simple as that.


I wish I could get him to understand but he’s just an aggressive ******* looking to find something wrong.

He gets aggressive and is accusing me of trying to hide something.

I just don’t feel comfortable especially knowing he’s going to question me for every little thing, like visiting a shop before my shift or meeting up a friend, it’s invasive and the thing that pisses me off most is that his intentions are not good.

He’s doing all of this NOW, of all times he had he’s doing it now because him and my mum are having one of the worse arguments and he keeps saying he’s going to leave (which he isn’t the bluffer he is we WISH he would leave he pays for nothing and drains us of our money saying he deserves it)

But he said he wouldn’t leave without ruining us first 🤢
Reply 5
Original post by Anonymous
There is a lot more to this story but generally speaking my trash father is a narcisstic ******* who’s been trying to find our mistakes or wrongs somehow to use against us.

Simply he and my mum don’t get well with each other including family wise and for some reason my father has developed in a way where he thinks finding sht against is the subject, and he wants to brag and make us look bad to others, probably so that if they do break up (hopefully) he can come out looking good.

Obviously my thoughts and behaviours I have to hide to avoid disturbing the peace.

He randomly approached me to ask for my location and to accept it and that I have no choice.

1m 19.

Also I don’t like things like location tracking it’s so invasive and it feels like an attack. Especially from him because he only wants to somehow find some wrong.

(He did this with insta too, he tracked us down and looked at all our following and tried to accuse of us dating boys whatever) we’re a conservative family.

Point is I don’t like location tracking regardless but especially from him. His intentions are well clear.

But as you would expect he took it as ‘you’re trying to hide something from aren’t you, are you doing something bad’

Now you may say if you’re doing anything bad just let him do it but here’s the thing, when I go to work and go on breaks or before my shift I go somewhere else, he is the kind of guy to twist it to make it seem like I did bad.

Idk what to do

does he pay for the phone?
If so, I'd suggest you get your own and say no.
Original post by Anonymous
I wish I could get him to understand but he’s just an aggressive ******* looking to find something wrong.

He gets aggressive and is accusing me of trying to hide something.

I just don’t feel comfortable especially knowing he’s going to question me for every little thing, like visiting a shop before my shift or meeting up a friend, it’s invasive and the thing that pisses me off most is that his intentions are not good.

He’s doing all of this NOW, of all times he had he’s doing it now because him and my mum are having one of the worse arguments and he keeps saying he’s going to leave (which he isn’t the bluffer he is we WISH he would leave he pays for nothing and drains us of our money saying he deserves it)

But he said he wouldn’t leave without ruining us first 🤢

If he is as bad as he sounds, I'd report him to the police. Keep a log of things he does and says for a couple of weeks, with photo/video evidence if at all possible. The way he's behaving is abusive, and the comment about he won't leave without ruining you is so horrible it's unreal. It's really difficult in these situations but you need to be brave and take action, for the sake of you and your mum. You both have amazing futures ahead of you, but sadly you won't be able to make the most of them while this man is in the house.
Reply 7
Original post by Anonymous
I wish I could get him to understand but he’s just an aggressive ******* looking to find something wrong.

He gets aggressive and is accusing me of trying to hide something.

I just don’t feel comfortable especially knowing he’s going to question me for every little thing, like visiting a shop before my shift or meeting up a friend, it’s invasive and the thing that pisses me off most is that his intentions are not good.

He’s doing all of this NOW, of all times he had he’s doing it now because him and my mum are having one of the worse arguments and he keeps saying he’s going to leave (which he isn’t the bluffer he is we WISH he would leave he pays for nothing and drains us of our money saying he deserves it)

But he said he wouldn’t leave without ruining us first 🤢


Why doesn't your mother kick him out if he is being a waste of oxygen?
Reply 8
Isn’t there a way to take your location or for u to share a fake one
Reply 9
Original post by 2500_2
does he pay for the phone?
If so, I'd suggest you get your own and say no.


Nope bought my one phone and I pay my own data plan
Original post by Anonymous
There is a lot more to this story but generally speaking my trash father is a narcisstic ******* who’s been trying to find our mistakes or wrongs somehow to use against us.

Simply he and my mum don’t get well with each other including family wise and for some reason my father has developed in a way where he thinks finding sht against is the subject, and he wants to brag and make us look bad to others, probably so that if they do break up (hopefully) he can come out looking good.

Obviously my thoughts and behaviours I have to hide to avoid disturbing the peace.

He randomly approached me to ask for my location and to accept it and that I have no choice.

1m 19.

Also I don’t like things like location tracking it’s so invasive and it feels like an attack. Especially from him because he only wants to somehow find some wrong.

(He did this with insta too, he tracked us down and looked at all our following and tried to accuse of us dating boys whatever) we’re a conservative family.

Point is I don’t like location tracking regardless but especially from him. His intentions are well clear.

But as you would expect he took it as ‘you’re trying to hide something from aren’t you, are you doing something bad’

Now you may say if you’re doing anything bad just let him do it but here’s the thing, when I go to work and go on breaks or before my shift I go somewhere else, he is the kind of guy to twist it to make it seem like I did bad.

Idk what to do

It might sound weird in this context, but all these monitoring your social media, checking your location etc. is basically just stalking. You are a grown adult, you are not forced to have a relationship with this creep.
Original post by xoxAngel_Kxox
If he is as bad as he sounds, I'd report him to the police. Keep a log of things he does and says for a couple of weeks, with photo/video evidence if at all possible. The way he's behaving is abusive, and the comment about he won't leave without ruining you is so horrible it's unreal. It's really difficult in these situations but you need to be brave and take action, for the sake of you and your mum. You both have amazing futures ahead of you, but sadly you won't be able to make the most of them while this man is in the house.


It’s been like this for years, these arguments happen he threatens to kill my mum or ruin us or kick my oldest siblings out.

My oldest siblings gave him 10-20K in total to build this house that is btw under just his name.

And I know, this is allowing him to get away with anything as no one is telling him no.

But my mum is a coward, with good intentions but my mum wants him to leave but he refuses to leave.

He says my mum needs to leave if she’s unhappy, as if this is his house, it’s not his.

We’ve been dealing with stuff like this for years and it’s honestly so draining especially for us, my mum has become suicidal and she’s had enough but she’s not strong enough to do the first move even though she knows where all behind her.

I guess she’s scared of his threats that he will kill us and that “if he leaves our coffins will leave the house first”

He’s a narcisstic sexist man who thinks he’s the man, while btw doing no duties of the “man” he thinks to be.

We have pictures of when he punched my sister and slapped my mum,

Cheating wise we only have him liking nude pictures on Instagram and my mum says he saw messaging a Bulgarian last
Original post by Aderinwa
Isn’t there a way to take your location or for u to share a fake one


Idk is there tell me plz
Original post by Bio 7
Why doesn't your mother kick him out if he is being a waste of oxygen?


My mum is scared and he wants him to leave first instead of us forcing him to leave
Original post by ZR246
It might sound weird in this context, but all these monitoring your social media, checking your location etc. is basically just stalking. You are a grown adult, you are not forced to have a relationship with this creep.


Yeah, he keeps approaching em and I’m refusing.

He said “I have no choice” and that he will take my phone away????

I’m 19 and I bought this phone with my own money, you can’t take it away for something measly like this, if I was doing something bad, like sharing nudes or talking to some drug dealer fine but no you can’t byeeee
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah, he keeps approaching em and I’m refusing.

He said “I have no choice” and that he will take my phone away????

I’m 19 and I bought this phone with my own money, you can’t take it away for something measly like this, if I was doing something bad, like sharing nudes or talking to some drug dealer fine but no you can’t byeeee

That is YOUR phone and if he takes it away that's a theft and you will report him to the police. Also all the threats and beatings you have to go to the police, it is a criminal activity, maybe even child abuse (not sure how old your sister is). Your mum needs to call the domestic abuse helpline for advice, she probably will get half of the house in case of a divorce, but she needs to take action and not to let her children live in terror.
Original post by ZR246
That is YOUR phone and if he takes it away that's a theft and you will report him to the police. Also all the threats and beatings you have to go to the police, it is a criminal activity, maybe even child abuse (not sure how old your sister is). Your mum needs to call the domestic abuse helpline for advice, she probably will get half of the house in case of a divorce, but she needs to take action and not to let her children live in terror.


We’ve said all of this before but it’s always bluff and nothing happens, usually after they “makeup” which is basically them being civil again but in private they speak sht about each other.

The house isn’t an issue, it’s a council house under both join tenants, if he decides to leave then the house would continue to be occupied by us since it’s just him and after some research if he leaves himself it’s called being “intentionally homeless” by the council so he would end up without a house

He thinks we’re dumb and said if I leave they’ll take this house away from you guys and tried to convince my youngest brother that he’ll be taken away by social services, first he’s 14 secondly he’s acting like children can’t live without fathers?? Anyways like there’s something called the internet where we can check this

Regardless my brother and sister are working to get a mortgage on a house anyways

My sister wasn’t a minor back then.

He thrives on “I barely hit anyone” yeah he doesn’t do it bad and not a lot but he’s done it.

For now we’re just gathering evidence and trying to get on our own two feet to support the family without him

Well we don’t need him financially, he doesn’t support the family (my siblings pay for groceries bills etc, benefits pay partly rent and my sht father is suppsoed to pay for the internet but he’s forced my mum to pay for it with benefits leftover and he just pays gas and electricity that’s it and COMPLAINS) but you get what. I mean just so we have a stable stance regardless of him

More then terror it’s depression.
Reply 17
Original post by Anonymous
We’ve said all of this before but it’s always bluff and nothing happens, usually after they “makeup” which is basically them being civil again but in private they speak sht about each other.

The house isn’t an issue, it’s a council house under both join tenants, if he decides to leave then the house would continue to be occupied by us since it’s just him and after some research if he leaves himself it’s called being “intentionally homeless” by the council so he would end up without a house

He thinks we’re dumb and said if I leave they’ll take this house away from you guys and tried to convince my youngest brother that he’ll be taken away by social services, first he’s 14 secondly he’s acting like children can’t live without fathers?? Anyways like there’s something called the internet where we can check this

Regardless my brother and sister are working to get a mortgage on a house anyways

My sister wasn’t a minor back then.

He thrives on “I barely hit anyone” yeah he doesn’t do it bad and not a lot but he’s done it.

For now we’re just gathering evidence and trying to get on our own two feet to support the family without him

Well we don’t need him financially, he doesn’t support the family (my siblings pay for groceries bills etc, benefits pay partly rent and my sht father is suppsoed to pay for the internet but he’s forced my mum to pay for it with benefits leftover and he just pays gas and electricity that’s it and COMPLAINS) but you get what. I mean just so we have a stable stance regardless of him

More then terror it’s depression.

I think you and your older siblings need to start a home(s) elsewhere so you get away and your mum has a place to go. Ideally, you need to look after your own safety and health first and support her if she chooses to leave.
Original post by 2500_2
I think you and your older siblings need to start a home(s) elsewhere so you get away and your mum has a place to go. Ideally, you need to look after your own safety and health first and support her if she chooses to leave.


Yes that’s the plan, my oldest sibling who’s already finished uni and is working his second year and my second sister has £20K saved up, they’re going to combine later on and get a house on mortgage to at least have somewhere else to go.

But it’s all a process and it’s not easy.

But that’s what they’re planning.

I would like that anyway cos it’s irks me when he tells my um or oldest siblings to leave as if this is his house LOL

One day we’ll be like okay bye then.

But even then back a few years when we were on holiday at our home country he told my mum to leave but refused my siblings from leaving saying “they’re my kids”

Honestly fck off. He always talks bs about us to everyone and says you’ll never become anything but when it benefits is he uses it as a leverage.

And the MOST ANNOYING THING IS

All of this, the fact that we despise, and we wouldn’t even take a second to device to task my mums side, he doesn’t even know, if we made it clear oof I don’t want to think of it.

But these years we’re waiting for the perfect time
He’s still banging on about it.

GET OFF MY FCKING CASE.

I’m not giving it. Be suspicious all you want, i have nothing to hide if you’re that desperate get in ur car and follow me around.

I’m not giving my location when it’s bc of bad intentions not gd intentions.

He said it with his own mouth “I want to see where you’re going etc” it’s fcking disgusting.

And he says “you don’t have a choice” I’m your dad ?? And so what??? So what if ur my dad? I’m my own person? You’re not some god that holds some over turning power.

There’s an extent of sht you can’t get control .

You ain’t pay for sht anyway.

He stressed me and depressed me so much. I hate him

Quick Reply

Latest

Trending

Trending