Why won’t girls date boys with learning disabilitys?

i like a guy that has autism
loads of girls will date guys with learning disabilities

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

I’ve always wondered why they won’t date guys like them?!

what about the other way around?

Reply 3

londonmyst

19

Some girls will, particularly those who have learning difficulties themselves.
Of those who won't the answer is probably not attracted, worried about anger management problems or legal capacity issues.

Reply 4

username1060297

Don’t think this is completely true but it does generally bell to be the case. Oxymoronic I know. I think the ones who do get into relationships especially so with people above their social league (as in social skills) are generally just lucky whilst others (majority) will be overlooked by general people because it is simply undesirable (in the sense that it can be problematic for people). Obviously depends on how you see and care for things but for most people, we are as superficial as tv shows us to be.

Reply 5

Depends on what kinds of learning disabilities we're talking about. If it's mild stuff like ASD, ADHD or high functioning dyslexia then me and virtually all my mates have something from that category and we all have had or currently have partners, and it's not really an obstacle. If we're talking about more serious things like lower functioning autism then it's generally because they are objectively not attractive. As someone with ASD and ADHD, I would not be interested in anyone with more difficulties than an ASD, ADHD or similar diagnosis because I physically can't get a boner for it. Whether that's self-loathing is up to you, the person reading this comment, to decide.

Reply 6

PhoenixFortune

It depends on the type of learning disability, and how far the disability affects their daily life (socialising, personal care, communication etc.). I'm not going to date someone that has a very limited understanding of the world, because that wouldn't be ethically or morally right.

Reply 7

Original post by Ki Yung Na

Don’t think this is completely true but it does generally bell to be the case. Oxymoronic I know. I think the ones who do get into relationships especially so with people above their social league (as in social skills) are generally just lucky whilst others (majority) will be overlooked by general people because it is simply undesirable (in the sense that it can be problematic for people). Obviously depends on how you see and care for things but for most people, we are as superficial as tv shows us to be.

Yes, as someone who went to a special unit in secondary school, I can confirm most people special enough to go to special school are generally quite low in the food chain (including me for most of my time there) and that means no matter how attractive or interesting they were, no girls would ever go near them. I can't blame anyone for it, it's just the way our species is programmed to behave, and in a sick Darwinian way, it's a good thing because it helps to prevent the propagation of those lower-quality genes. A lot of superficial behaviours make sense when you think about it, they evolved for a reason.

preference

Because they're not obligated to?

Reply 10

username1060297

Original post by Cryoraptor

Yes, as someone who went to a special unit in secondary school, I can confirm most people special enough to go to special school are generally quite low in the food chain (including me for most of my time there) and that means no matter how attractive or interesting they were, no girls would ever go near them. I can't blame anyone for it, it's just the way our species is programmed to behave, and in a sick Darwinian way, it's a good thing because it helps to prevent the propagation of those lower-quality genes. A lot of superficial behaviours make sense when you think about it, they evolved for a reason.

I think you need to let go of your label. Explore meaning to life and give yourself a philosophical meaning or reason detre. Then act accordingly and let whatever happen, happen. People will take interest. As long as you’re minding your own, and doing some good. It really doesn’t matter how many looks you get, it just matters that the looks you do get — are ones you want, like, or attracted because of your own charm.

As un inspiring as it is .... be positive about who you are .

Reply 11

username4218550

14

Original post by Anonymous

I’ve always wondered why they won’t date guys like them?!

I mean it's human nature, a girl might be scared to be the provider and take the role of the man if the circumstances will lead to that. Many might worry that it will not be worth it even if they might like that person. Hopefully this will give you a better insight.

Reply 12

Original post by Ki Yung Na

I think you need to let go of your label. Explore meaning to life and give yourself a philosophical meaning or reason detre. Then act accordingly and let whatever happen, happen. People will take interest. As long as you’re minding your own, and doing some good. It really doesn’t matter how many looks you get, it just matters that the looks you do get — are ones you want, like, or attracted because of your own charm.

As un inspiring as it is .... be positive about who you are .

Thanks, in the past 18 months I have risen in the food chain. I'm now at a point which is somewhere at 'average person level', and because of that I can now see that some of my old friends were, and I put this in the most polite way possible, losers at the bottom of the food chain with sadly very little hope of rising anytime soon. But moving on from them, yes I agree with you. I think it doesn't really matter who you are, what you look like, what your interests are, what clothes you wear and so on, as long as you're confident in who you are, people will like you. Yeah, I have some quite unmanly interests, for example I quite like the early-2010s stuff of numerous female artists who are usually considered to cater to girls, but I own it. I'm not bothered what people might think about that, and in my experience, most people don't really care either if you're confident about yourself and own it. That's what people like, that's what the opposite (or same if that's your thing) sex finds attractive. Of course, other things matter, but I think confidence in oneself is the single biggest thing.

Reply 13

i think it is for some people because the guy i like also has two autistic brothers and one of them has special needs and goes to a special school
im not 100% sure though
autism is on a spectrum though so it's debatable

Reply 14

Original post by khadijaaaxxxx

i think it is for some people because the guy i like also has two autistic brothers and one of them has special needs and goes to a special school
im not 100% sure though
autism is on a spectrum though so it's debatable

It's considered a learning disability in the context of social difficulties and other such things. Of course, for many who are high-functioning, academic matters aren't really a challenge.

In academic terms, things like dyslexia would more be considered learning difficulties. But in the same vein, dyslexia doesn't really cause social difficulties.

Reply 15

Original post by Cryoraptor

It's considered a learning disability in the context of social difficulties and other such things. Of course, for many who are high-functioning, academic matters aren't really a challenge.

In academic terms, things like dyslexia would more be considered learning difficulties. But in the same vein, dyslexia doesn't really cause social difficulties.

yeah exactly
depends on the person and their autism tbh

Reply 16

Original post by khadijaaaxxxx

yeah exactly
depends on the person and their autism tbh

Exactly. What people don't realise is it can actually have the opposite effect to the stereotype. For example, traditionally autism is meant to cause you to not be able to read facial patterns and emotions correctly, but my autism actually enhances my emotional intelligence quite significantly, and I've seen in in others on the spectrum as well. Some on the spectrum are incredibly emotionally intelligent. Autism is a very broad spectrum and can cause various different things, some things even beneficial like in my case.

Reply 17

Original post by Cryoraptor

Exactly. What people don't realise is it can actually have the opposite effect to the stereotype. For example, traditionally autism is meant to cause you to not be able to read facial patterns and emotions correctly, but my autism actually enhances my emotional intelligence quite significantly, and I've seen in in others on the spectrum as well. Some on the spectrum are incredibly emotionally intelligent. Autism is a very broad spectrum and can cause various different things, some things even beneficial like in my case.

im really learning a lot about autism today haha!
it's good to be educated on the topic though so you don't stereotype people with autism

Reply 18

username1060297

Original post by khadijaaaxxxx

i think it is for some people because the guy i like also has two autistic brothers and one of them has special needs and goes to a special school
im not 100% sure though
autism is on a spectrum though so it's debatable

Autism believe it or not, is generally considered to be one because abstract concepts don’t come easily to us. Eg, it requires a good understanding of empathy and perspective taking —- this imo; can be learned but the reality is; most people on the spectrum don’t have the environment or the support to develop this — and even once they do. They will struggle at times because it doesn’t come naturally eg; how to react in a group scenario without either being completely quiet or being completely loud —- it’s hard to manuevre between when you are affected by the spectrum in my experience of what autism does to people.

Reply 19