Ex sending very strange signals.... Watch

Kikaykun
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#21
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#21
(Original post by ScORTED)
seriously unless you have a desire to see her, politely let her know you need to have your space and that you'll speak to her when you are ready! I can offer a prediction but neither of us know how you / she will feel after some time has passed.
It also leaves the onus on her to leave the guy that her relationship is so bad with - at least that's what she's been telling you.
Yeah, I'll give it some time. I gave her some time once before, thats when she had her revelation of missing me. It took her 2 or so weeks of us not talking for her to realise that she 'misses' me.

And she does tell me some things about her relationship. I can honestly say that what she tells me is the truth about her and her bf. But she just select the things that are said so it doesn't cause trouble....
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Jakelee
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#22
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#22
Shes stringing you along for attention /ego boost, move on, don't speak again, find a nice lady.

If she was completely happy with you, why did she leave you?
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Kikaykun
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#23
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#23
(Original post by JIRAIYA-ERO-SENNIN)
she's a desperate attention seeker; just cut off all contact or she'll leech onto you.
I did cut off all contact. Then she found a way to contact me again :/

A false skype name was pretty ingenious though, as I'm more acceptable on that than msn or facebook.
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Kikaykun
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#24
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#24
(Original post by Jar of Hearts)
She sounds a bit like she just wants a back up if you know what I mean? Shes having problems with her current so runs back to you?
Don't let her. Stop contact with her. It's the easiest way really until you're over her as much as you can be. Plus shes fking you around.

You need to concentrate on your exams not some hussy
Yeah, I get the feeling that she is just keeping me there as a backup on many occasions. But however I do believe that she isn't intentionally doing it per se, if that makes any sense :/

She just really wants to find out if I still had feelings for her and whether or not I would wait for her. So she's not intentionally doing it to make me her back up. I'm not quite sure if what I said there was actually coherent English xD

And yes exam.... FML.
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JIRAIYA-ERO-SENNIN
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#25
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#25
(Original post by Kikaykun)
I did cut off all contact. Then she found a way to contact me again :/

A false skype name was pretty ingenious though, as I'm more acceptable on that than msn or facebook.
then tell her to stop stalking you. just say "you're creeping me out" and she'll understand (assuming she has an ounce of sanity).
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Kikaykun
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#26
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#26
(Original post by Jakelee)
Shes stringing you along for attention /ego boost, move on, don't speak again, find a nice lady.

If she was completely happy with you, why did she leave you?
Cut a long story short, me and her were together for about a year. She completely fell in love with me around the 3 month mark and she started to envision 'our' future. Talking about marriage, weddings, children, house, family etc etc. That scared me ****less. I really didn't feel comfortable committing at such a young age (I was 17 then). So I never really responded so 'lovingly' towards her as I didn't want her getting any ideas that we would last forever. I know that was a **** move on my part and that I was wrong for not displaying those emotions back to her and I was being really selfish :/ I did love her, but I didn't display it to her as much as I should have. She really craved being loved and the amount she put in towards me didn't equate to the amount I displayed towards her.

Then she met someone else. And they started to hang out for a while and then she told me that she was leaving me for him. He said stuff like 'I love you' to her 2 weeks into the relationship and he really wanted to commit to her and she fell for into the relationship head first. He basically did everything that she wanted me to do and thus their relationship began on her craving love and him effortlessly giving it to her.

But ever since then she has realised that me and her chemistry is alot stronger than her and her current bf. We would talk about anything and everything for hours on end; she can't even hold a decent conversation with her bf, its filled with those awkward silences that people get when they have nothing to say. And she is telling me how she is ignored at times and that he only pays attention to her when he wants sex :/
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Boobies.
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#27
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#27
She is ****ing you around. Seriously, seriously, seriously, She's doing it for her own sad little ego, because she wants attention from you. She might not even realise that fact, but its true. All that will happen is she'll string you along for ages, playing you and her boyfriend off each other, craving attention from both of you, then she'll either tell you not to bother with her anymore or she will call it off with her boyfriend, you'll be happy for a full six and a half minutes before she starts saying exactly the same to this other guy, or a new one, for that fact.



Run a ****ing mile.
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Anonymous #1
#28
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#28
(Original post by Kikaykun)
I do trust her. She is a ridiculously honest person and she has been completely honest with me when I was with her and she finds it hard to give up that habit even though we aren't together.

I asked her if she was saying all of this to keep me as a back up and she replied "I just wanted to know if you still had feelings for me and if you would really take me back"

But I doubt she will leave her bf. I asked her and she said that she couldn't. I asked why, her reply was "My bf would kill me." And I'm not talking metaphorically, the guy has anger issues and is actually very violent if he wants to be.
I'm going to be honest, I was like this with my ex for a bit, I knew he still liked me and even though I had a boyfriend, we were going through a rough patch and I was feeling insecure and would go to my ex for a confidence boost I guess.

Regardless of the signals I may have given my ex at the time, I doubt I would have broken up with my boyfriend for him. I'm in no way proud of it, but my ex messed me about and cheated on me etc, so I guess he deserved it lol.

Either way, don't let yourself get too attached. If she wanted to be with you and liked you that much then she would have broken up with her boyfriend by now. She knows you like her and she's just using you because she likes the attention. There's probably still feelings there but she obviously wasn't 100% happy in your relationship with her else you wouldn't have broken up in the first place...
Don't let yourself get used by her when you have feelings for her still, it will only hurt more in the long run.
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Kikaykun
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#29
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#29
(Original post by JIRAIYA-ERO-SENNIN)
then tell her to stop stalking you. just say "you're creeping me out" and she'll understand (assuming she has an ounce of sanity).
I was about to say to her to go away and leave me alone, but she did say 'Hear me out first' and then went on a apologetic rant about how sorry we was and how bad she treated me.

I naturally wanted her to stop apologising but there was still an ounce of me that still wanted to talk to her, so I caved in and talked :/

Then she called the next day and this is where I ended up :/
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Kikaykun
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#30
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#30
(Original post by Boobies.)
She is ****ing you around. Seriously, seriously, seriously, She's doing it for her own sad little ego, because she wants attention from you. She might not even realise that fact, but its true. All that will happen is she'll string you along for ages, playing you and her boyfriend off each other, craving attention from both of you, then she'll either tell you not to bother with her anymore or she will call it off with her boyfriend, you'll be happy for a full six and a half minutes before she starts saying exactly the same to this other guy, or a new one, for that fact.



Run a ****ing mile.
Ahaha, you sound exactly like my best friend who keeps telling me that I should 'forget about the ***** as she is playing you along time and time again and that you will get hurt in the long run and end up in the same position you were in a couple of months back!'

I'm just too much of a pussy to let her go that quickly xD
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Kikaykun
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#31
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#31
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm going to be honest, I was like this with my ex for a bit, I knew he still liked me and even though I had a boyfriend, we were going through a rough patch and I was feeling insecure and would go to my ex for a confidence boost I guess.

Regardless of the signals I may have given my ex at the time, I doubt I would have broken up with my boyfriend for him. I'm in no way proud of it, but my ex messed me about and cheated on me etc, so I guess he deserved it lol.

Either way, don't let yourself get too attached. If she wanted to be with you and liked you that much then she would have broken up with her boyfriend by now. She knows you like her and she's just using you because she likes the attention. There's probably still feelings there but she obviously wasn't 100% happy in your relationship with her else you wouldn't have broken up in the first place...
Don't let yourself get used by her when you have feelings for her still, it will only hurt more in the long run.
Cheers for this, I needed an insight on what she would be thinking like and why she was doing this to me in the first place. I however was faithful and she did break up with me due to me not doing thing she wanted (see above post).

And she is somewhat a moral person and she would never break up with someone, especially her current boyfriend. He is the type that would get violent if things don't go his way. I even questioned her about this. I asked 'So you're tell me that the only way that you two would break up is that either he break up with you or he would cheat on you? You wouldn't break up with him?' And she said 'Yeah, that's the only way'

:/
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JIRAIYA-ERO-SENNIN
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#32
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#32
(Original post by Kikaykun)
I was about to say to her to go away and leave me alone, but she did say 'Hear me out first' and then went on a apologetic rant about how sorry we was and how bad she treated me.

I naturally wanted her to stop apologising but there was still an ounce of me that still wanted to talk to her, so I caved in and talked :/

Then she called the next day and this is where I ended up :/
you're not being honest with yourself: do you want to talk to this girl or not?
if you really want it go tap it; but if you don't want anything to do with it shouldn't be that hard to cut off all contact.
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Kikaykun
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#33
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#33
(Original post by JIRAIYA-ERO-SENNIN)
you're not being honest with yourself: do you want to talk to this girl or not?
if you really want it go tap it; but if you don't want anything to do with it shouldn't be that hard to cut off all contact.
It's not hard, I'm just an idiot and making it harder for myself to do it :/

But good advice though Perverted Hermit, I shall take heed
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Kikaykun
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#34
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#34
(Original post by MikeeyMon)
Hey pal. Sorry to disregard your other part of the message, but are you definitely sure it was her? Did she go on webcam and speak to you? Anyone could pretend they were your girlfriend and mess you about, along with false hope.

Hope your okay pal. I am going through a similar situation at the moment myself.
Yeah, it was definitely her. I ignored the mail and she asked me on Skype why I ignored her fb mail. Then she spoke about things that only she knew about and the call the day after confirmed it.

And sorry about the situation you're in mate, hope you sort it out soon enough!
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Kikaykun
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#35
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#35
(Original post by MikeeyMon)
Ah okay, good man. Well what I can suggest is doing what you feel is best. Or try to move on if you feel you can at the moment. I wish I could give more advice, but I am in the same boat as you pal. Taking the advice as you get yours

Mine is more my ex has a boyfriend, still love her kinda thing from the 4 years we was together.

Take care pal, and hang in there.
Cheers mate, I hope you can use all the advice I'm getting on this thread! I will probably give it a while, see how things go in the next week or so as I can't really commit to this situation with exams coming up.

And four years is a long time compared to my measly one :P

But you take care as well and hope you can get what's best for you.
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prescilla
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#36
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#36
(Original post by Kikaykun)
Ahaha the reason we broke up was because she left me for someone else

But I'm over that bit now, as she literally jumped at chance to be with her current bf but was still harbouring feelings towards me. And she still says how she misses me and having feelings, but she says that she is also committed to her relationship and bf :/
Okay that makes it even more strange... Maybe she's looking for attention from you or she just can't decide. If you are okay with that, then just stay around. Maybe she'll change her mind again
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Nepene
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#37
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(Original post by Kikaykun)
I know that was a **** move on my part and that I was wrong for not displaying those emotions back to her and I was being really selfish
If you didn't feel it, you didn't feel it.

Then she met someone else. And they started to hang out for a while and then she told me that she was leaving me for him. He said stuff like 'I love you' to her 2 weeks into the relationship and he really wanted to commit to her and she fell for into the relationship head first. He basically did everything that she wanted me to do and thus their relationship began on her craving love and him effortlessly giving it to her.
It began with him knowing how to manipulate her feminine brain with her desire for security. He couldn't give her everything because he couldn't give her your passion.

And she is telling me how she is ignored at times and that he only pays attention to her when he wants sex :/
He got what he wants, and now he's bored of the old pussy. You could have faked it like he did, but it would be pretty dicky.

Personally I'd keep her as a friend and have the option of a booty call.
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GAguy
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#38
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#38
(Original post by Kikaykun)
Basically, I stopped talking to my ex a few weeks ago as she told me to **** off for the forth time. She has a new bf but says that she wants us to be friends. I try to still be friends with her but then we argue and then made up then argue etc etc. So I decided to give up after the fourth time and I didn't speak to her for two and a half weeks. Just to be clear, I still have some feelings for her and that she made a mistake choosing her current bf over me as he is a total ****.

So then after two weeks of no contact, she Facebook mails me. I didn't reply. Then she makes up a new Skype account with a fake name (I deleted her old one and blocked her) and starts talking to me. As I didn't know who it was, I talked to them and she revealed herself to me. She then proceeded to say that she was sorry for being a ***** and that she wanted us to be friends again. However this time, she was willing to go behind her bf's back to keep our friendship (he was the one who prevented us from talking/ being friends in the first place). She then phones me the next day (she never phones me) and we then have a two hour long conversation about our relationship.

She tells me how she misses me and my company. She misses our friendship and that she may still have feelings for me, even though she left me for her current bf four months ago. She then tells me that her and her bf are having problems in their relationship (daily arguments, she saying that her bf only pays attention to her to get sex)

Then she asks me "If I asked you if you would take me back right now, would you?"

And I just replied "I don't know".

I then ask her "Are you 100% happy with the relationship with your bf?" and she replied "No".

"Were you 100% happy when you were with me?"

"Yes".

So I'm just confused with the signals she is giving me. I've asked a couple of my friends and they said that she is either:

A) Saying all this **** to me as she sees that her bf and her may be on the rocks and trying to draw me back so I can be her back up.

or B) She is hinting at the fact that she might want to leave him to come back to me.

tl:dr - Ex claims to want to come back to me but is still in a poor relationship with her current bf.

Any input would be nice! No matter how harsh it sounds. Just need to know you guy's thoughts.

And trolls are allowed only if their posts are funny.

Sorry for the long post
Hoepelss situation. And you're giving in way too easily, she doesn't have to work at all to get your attention. So she thinks she can do whatever she wants (which isn't helping her). She knows the relationship with you doesn't work, but also doesn't not want to be with you. So if you're giving her mixed signals, like when you said "I don't know if I would take you back" WTF? confuse her more, that clearly raises her hopes. All your patience and your willingness to 'debate' with her only makes it worse and she will keep trying.

I mean, how many attempts do you want to go through? I think 4 is quite enough. Still, you are just passively not contacting her, but whenever she contacts you, you are all up for it. She makes a fake account, even after she reveals herself you are still talking to her.

I'm sorry, I know you said you have emotions for her. But she is not your debating partner about what you do with her, that clearly does not work. Make up your mind and stick to it.

Also, the part about being friends I wouldn't accept that for half a year at least. She's just going to abuse it to flirt with you.

What's going on with her is very clear. She wants you back (eventually you would probably fight again and break up, but that's what she would want right now).

You need to make up your mind and stick to it, either say it's enough and don't give in to her desperate attempts. Don't just ask yourself when dealing with her what you really think — girls got a way to make you say nice things to them when you're just trying to be honest. So also think about what that would mean between you and her when you open your mouth.

And yeah, don't contact her, and don't get fooled by the friends stuff.

If you want to get back with her, I don't need to tell you what you got to do.


Good luck.
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Kikaykun
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#39
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#39
(Original post by prescilla)
Okay that makes it even more strange... Maybe she's looking for attention from you or she just can't decide. If you are okay with that, then just stay around. Maybe she'll change her mind again
Its very possible that she is looking for attention from me as she called me when her and her boyfriend had a fight and was looking for some comforting. However, she still reaffirms the fact that she has feelings and misses me even when her and her bf aren't fighting. She just seems not to be able to make up her mind :/
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Kikaykun
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#40
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#40
(Original post by Nepene)
If you didn't feel it, you didn't feel it.



It began with him knowing how to manipulate her feminine brain with her desire for security. He couldn't give her everything because he couldn't give her your passion.



He got what he wants, and now he's bored of the old pussy. You could have faked it like he did, but it would be pretty dicky.

Personally I'd keep her as a friend and have the option of a booty call.
I did feel it, but I tried to make myself hide the fact that I did. I was scared of commitment and that if I did display the amount of affection that she did towards me, she may get the idea of us being together forever and that scared me :/

And the fully agree with your second comment. That makes alot of sense. Her bf however seems to be committing so far but her really doesn't care about you at times.

And there were times when I actually though, that I could of made her stay with me by doing the exact things he did, but I'm not that much of a **** to do that :P

I'm trying to keep her as a friend but emotions and feelings arise and it hurts when I want something more than a friendship as I've had more before :/
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