My boyfriend says he'll never love me.

Anon or delete please - my boyfriend and friends are on here.

My boyfriend and I have been together for a solid 9 months now. It's been an incredible relationship, we never fight or get on each other's nerves and it feels like we've been in the honeymoon period of our relationship the whole time.

Yesterday, out of the blue, he suggested breaking up for my own good, so I can move on quicker and find someone better. He says - and I quote - he likes me 99%, but the remaining 1% makes him not sure about continuing the relationship. (This sounds pretty ridiculous to me...)

As you can imagine, I'm pretty upset about this - more so the fact that he wants to break up, rather than the fact that he 'won't ever' love me (although that depresses me a bit as well). I've told him that there's no knowing what will happen to his feelings about me but he's pretty adamant on this. I don't know what else to say to him.

We're on a break right now but I'm pretty set on this guy and definitely want to keep him for now. What can I do? Any help would be appreciated :\

Look I wouldn't say that he's cheating on you like some posters have said. That would be jumping to conclusions too early.

He clearly does not want to be with you OP, and though this sounds a little harsh, he is justified in his decision. If he doesn't want to be with you, why would you try and change his mind? He's said he doesn't, and won't be in love with you, what else is there to the relationship? Fine yeah, maybe sex. But sex is not the basis of a relationship, it's important but not the BINDING force.

You deserve better than some guy whose giving up everything because of that measly 1% Everything has the 1% factor. My mum loves my dad 99% but hates him because 1% (in my head more) of the time he can be bloody annoying. The 1% isn't sufficient enough to end things. 9 months IS a lot no matter what anyone says.

If he doesn't feel it now. Will he ever?
It hurts, but move on. There's much more to this story then ''The 1%''
Good luck

Reply 21

Pinklemonade-xo

11

Doubt shouldnt be there at all. He should be mad about you, and if he's not... he's not the right one.

Reply 22

pinkbullets

12

It's a pretty ridiculous thing for him to say that he'll never love anybody. Have you asked him why he thinks this?

Reply 23

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by pinkbullets

It's a pretty ridiculous thing for him to say that he'll never love anybody. Have you asked him why he thinks this?

He says that he 'just knows'. His dad's the same too - he's currently with a steady partner for five years and he's told her that he'll never love her. My boyfriend must think that he takes after him.

Reading through all of these replies, it seems that just about everyone is saying to end the relationship and that I deserve better. But aren't you just saying the same thing my boyfriend is? I'm confused
:confused:

Reply 24

Mullah.S

maybe you are doing boring to him?

Reply 25

Mrs Pineapple

Original post by Anonymous

He says that he 'just knows'. His dad's the same too - he's currently with a steady partner for five years and he's told her that he'll never love her. My boyfriend must think that he takes after him.

Reading through all of these replies, it seems that just about everyone is saying to end the relationship and that I deserve better. But aren't you just saying the same thing my boyfriend is? I'm confused
:confused:

Yes, but they are giving you better reasons to end it and they are saying you should do it on your terms, not this '1%' nonsense. Everyone finds little things annoying about their partner, but you can still love them despite this - after all no one is perfect.

Looks like he's too weak to end the relationship himself and so is getting you to dump him so he doesn't feel bad about it.

Reply 26

cl_steele

2

Doesn't sound like his mind is going to be changed any time soon, take his advice he's not wrong when he said it'll be easier now than later...

Reply 27

slidetocancel

Dump his little haribo ass and move on. If he feels his life is going to be better off without you then screw him. He's obviously a douche If you were just to turn around, cover your true feelings, pretend you aren't even assed and be like "Okay byeeee." In a weeks time, he would come running back to you. If you try to persuade him it'll just make him think you're a stage 5 clinger and he will want to get away from you even more. Trust me this has happened to me before. Just be like okay and just act uninterested, if he doesn't come running back then it just shows he's not worth you anyway.

Reply 28

Ras17

10

Honestly, OP? It seems to me that his heart is no longer in the relationship but he doesn't have the nuts to initiate the break-up; namely because he doesn't want to seem like the bad guy.

Anybody who says they could never truly or fully love you is not worth staying with.

Reply 29

therisenmitten

12

The 1% is his true feelings
The 99% is him trying to cling on to how he once felt about you.

Sorry OP

Reply 30

jaycube

This is complicated relation.

Reply 31

Truflais

20

What?!? You're more upset that someone who doesn't love you wants to break up as opposed to the fact that they DON'T actually love you. Move on, you deserve better. It sounds very sudden so perhaps he has met someone else, who knows. But you can do better.

Reply 32

A5ko

3

He's found someone else.

Don't be hard on yourself, some people are just cheating scum bags.

Reply 33

username677182

18

Original post by Rock Fan

Sounds like he is making excuses, I would just cut him out as hard as it is, breaks never really work. If he truely still loved you he would have stayed with you, he can't just decide go on a break if it suits him, either he wants to be with you or not.

Pretty much this.

Whether he loves you or not, if he 'likes' you then he'd want to be with you and just see how the relationship progresses?

For him to completely rule out ever loving you, and also to put a percentage on how much he likes/cares about you, makes me think that in the long run you're probably better off without him.

Reply 34

crr4

it's hard to be with someone for that long for the outcome to be what you're going through...

but seriously, why stay chasing after this guy, after 9 months and he's said that to you?
see it from the perspective that you need to give yourself the chance to be able to know what you deserve as an individual, he's not going to be the only guy who's going to meet to your standards, it may be hard but really you need to think of it in the long run.. sod him and enjoy your life and when you feel completely ready, settle down and find someone really worth your time..

Reply 35

alexmagpie

15

Original post by flit

I'm sorry, this is a tough situation. You can get him back however, by doing what he says. Let him seeyou getting with another guy, preferably a hotter one, and don't call or text him. He'll want you back, badly!!

This is literally just the worst advice I've ever heard.

Reply 36

scrotgrot

16

He's scared of commitment

I'm certain he does love you, he's just scared of commitment.

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 37

aranexus

12

Honeymoon period has ended...

Reply 38

officelinebacker

Original post by Rock Fan

Sounds like he is making excuses, I would just cut him out as hard as it is, breaks never really work. If he truely still loved you he would have stayed with you, he can't just decide go on a break if it suits him, either he wants to be with you or not.

Why?

After 9 months you know whether or not you love somebody, and if you don't love them after that time then the chances are that you won't ever and so what is the point on dragging the relationship on?

Also, which would feel worse for the OP, him telling her now that he wants to break up or him dragging it out for another few years despite not loving her and then breaking up?