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    (Original post by anonymous125)
    I'm 20. I'm a sikh. The girl i like/love is a muslim. Only solution for a future is to convert. But how do i go about telling this to my parents and family, for those of you who dont know the consequences can and will be absolutely huge! I have no idea how my parents and family would react but what if they kick me out the house and/or break my legs?!

    For those of you who are doubting me, i like this girl so much that i am willing to convert. But if my parents dont agree to converting or even marriage (if it does come to that) then what should i do? how would the girls parents react?

    Basically it is like this, once i have mentioned this situation there is no going back and thats a fact. for example, if i say i want to convert and mention the girl then things would never be the same for me between me and my parents. Also the girl says that she doesnt want me to convert just because of her.

    if i was to convert eventually, what do i say? would her parents be okay with it? my parents would go crazy but do you think i should go ahead with it even if they so no? This is so hard and confusing for me, it is the biggest decision of my life.... as it could make or break my life.

    DO NOT CONVERT

    Everyone is equal in God's eyes, all God asks for us is that we are compassionate towards each other, speak the truth, help people in need, act modestly.

    Just follow your religion and let her follow hers.
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    (Original post by advice_guru)
    DO NOT CONVERT

    Everyone is equal in God's eyes, all God asks for us is that we are compassionate towards each other, speak the truth, help people in need, act modestly.

    Just follow your religion and let her follow hers.
    I need to point out "God" doesn't believe everyone is equal only his followers are equal the non-believers e.g me are not equal and will be punished for not following his doctrine.
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    coming from the same background and being sikh i understand how you feel about this whole thing..
    but you really need to start putting things in to perspective, you're sacrificing the values that your parents have taught you and brought you up with, i also think that if your parents are quiet religious and strict sikhi then there will be an issue and that is the truth of it.

    converting for this girl, i don't think her parents would have an issue about it, because your changing your faith and religion on the basis of being able to marry her, which i would assume is what they would have wanted in the first place..

    but you're 20! you really got to be sure that this is what you want for the rest of your life..sure people say, you're in love with the girl and therefore other circumstances shouldn't matter, but these two religions are so different, and you need to think about your life in the long run with her.. my dad has always said i can marry whoever i want as long as they're Punjabi and understand our culture, but seen as your the boy of the family your parents may consider otherwise, but really.. do you think that'll be the case? there really is no going back after this...

    massive goodluck to your decision and outcome!
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    Why are thinking about marriage when you aren't even dating?

    I also don't see why you should feel the need to convert. A relationship is a two-way street; she could always convert, or better yet neither of you should abandon your religion just for the sake of convenience.
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    (Original post by anonymous125)
    I'm 20. I'm a sikh. The girl i like/love is a muslim. Only solution for a future is to convert. But how do i go about telling this to my parents and family, for those of you who dont know the consequences can and will be absolutely huge! I have no idea how my parents and family would react but what if they kick me out the house and/or break my legs?!

    For those of you who are doubting me, i like this girl so much that i am willing to convert. But if my parents dont agree to converting or even marriage (if it does come to that) then what should i do? how would the girls parents react?

    Basically it is like this, once i have mentioned this situation there is no going back and thats a fact. for example, if i say i want to convert and mention the girl then things would never be the same for me between me and my parents. Also the girl says that she doesnt want me to convert just because of her.

    if i was to convert eventually, what do i say? would her parents be okay with it? my parents would go crazy but do you think i should go ahead with it even if they so no? This is so hard and confusing for me, it is the biggest decision of my life.... as it could make or break my life.
    None of you have to convert. Live together happily as a Muslim/Sikh couple and let your kids pick their own beliefs.

    Look how much religion has ruined for people.
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    (Original post by PerArduaAdAstra)
    I see. In that case, I would advise you to do the only logical/sensible thing you really can - sit down with your parents and just lay all the facts out. It sounds like you're prepared for the backlash that will probably result from that, but if they love you, they should (emphasis on *should*) see sense and accept that this is what you need to do if your relationship with her is impossible without conversion.

    Just as a thought, would it be possible for you to convert, but still observe all the Sikh customs of your family? It's sort of a best-of-both-worlds solution - ie you become a Muslim but are a Sikh when you need to be.
    when the time comes and i do eventually tell my family, and i am positive there will be huge consequences, what am i supposed to do if they dont want to know because that will mean i dont really have a chance with her either... Also do you think i should convert and *try* to pursue a future with her even if my parents say no?

    Of course i could still observe the sikh customs, it would be the best of both worlds. It might seem strange to some, but im not a hugely religious guy, so that could work.
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    OP, maybe learn more about the religion? It'll help you BOTH in the long term. I am so sorry you have to go through such a tough ordeal, but I guess you cant help who you fall in love with. It's going to be a long journey for you both, but your parents will realise you are serious. They might not talk to you for years, but time with help. Islam is such a beautiful religion, but your intentions for con/reverting should be solely for the religion not for her. She will love and respect you far more if you do that. PM me if you wish to speak more.
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    (Original post by anonymous125)
    when the time comes and i do eventually tell my family, and i am positive there will be huge consequences, what am i supposed to do if they dont want to know because that will mean i dont really have a chance with her either... Also do you think i should convert and *try* to pursue a future with her even if my parents say no?

    Of course i could still observe the sikh customs, it would be the best of both worlds. It might seem strange to some, but im not a hugely religious guy, so that could work.
    I would also love to ask about a previous point you said of a "legitimate marriage" explain please because well Marriage is a state thing or are you doing it to make some old fart happy or to make a "god" happy? it makes no sense
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    (Original post by anonymous125)
    I'm 20. I'm a sikh. The girl i like/love is a muslim. Only solution for a future is to convert. But how do i go about telling this to my parents and family, for those of you who dont know the consequences can and will be absolutely huge! I have no idea how my parents and family would react but what if they kick me out the house and/or break my legs?!

    For those of you who are doubting me, i like this girl so much that i am willing to convert. But if my parents dont agree to converting or even marriage (if it does come to that) then what should i do? how would the girls parents react?

    Basically it is like this, once i have mentioned this situation there is no going back and thats a fact. for example, if i say i want to convert and mention the girl then things would never be the same for me between me and my parents. Also the girl says that she doesnt want me to convert just because of her.

    if i was to convert eventually, what do i say? would her parents be okay with it? my parents would go crazy but do you think i should go ahead with it even if they so no? This is so hard and confusing for me, it is the biggest decision of my life.... as it could make or break my life.

    I too come from a deeply religious, caste driven family (I on the other hand am neither religious or take the caste system seriously). So i think i'll be able to understand your problem a bit better.
    Firstly, since the girls parents are muslims and you've said that you are willing to convert to Islam. There should be no problem with the girls parents. However if you say that you will convert after marriage then they will say no!
    Your parents aren't going to break your legs dude, relax .
    But if your parents are half as strict as my'n they will most likely disown you and NEVER talk to you again! They probably won't even let you come to there funeral. Since your going to have a different religion to them. I spoke to my mum about what would happen if i married outside our caste or religion when i was 15 and she made it clear THIS would happen! :/.

    If you want some advice forget the girl dude! Get married to someone from your own religion . Girls come and go but parents are with you for life!
    But if you still wanna go through with your "Love" make sure the girls parents are willing to accept you because if you fight with your parents and the girls parents say No to you as well your basically screwed!
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    Try asking her whether she wants to convert, lets see if she loves you in the way you do.
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    Why do you have to convert?

    And I don't think you should convert for this reason - conversion isn't something you do by choice, you do it through actually believing a religion's true. How does there being a love interest for you from a particular religion affect that religion's truth value?
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    (Original post by soempty)
    Try asking her is she wants to convert, lets see if she loves you in the way you do.
    Someone already suggested that but shes a religious muslim........ :/ so hes kinda stuck
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    For a girl? Is it really worth it? I've known several people who have done similar, one was 'deeply' religious and made his girlfriend convert before he went and cheated on her :rolleyes:

    And is converting that easy? You could literally drop everything you believe in and have been brought up with to make room for foreign beliefs? Then what is the point in religion in the first place?
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    (Original post by crr4)
    coming from the same background and being sikh i understand how you feel about this whole thing..
    but you really need to start putting things in to perspective, you're sacrificing the values that your parents have taught you and brought you up with, i also think that if your parents are quiet religious and strict sikhi then there will be an issue and that is the truth of it.

    converting for this girl, i don't think her parents would have an issue about it, because your changing your faith and religion on the basis of being able to marry her, which i would assume is what they would have wanted in the first place..

    but you're 20! you really got to be sure that this is what you want for the rest of your life..sure people say, you're in love with the girl and therefore other circumstances shouldn't matter, but these two religions are so different, and you need to think about your life in the long run with her.. my dad has always said i can marry whoever i want as long as they're Punjabi and understand our culture, but seen as your the boy of the family your parents may consider otherwise, but really.. do you think that'll be the case? there really is no going back after this...

    massive goodluck to your decision and outcome!
    is your family really religious and strict? you see my family are to a certain extent, but i dont understand why me converting would be a massive problem. i understand im going against what i was brought up with, but some of my far distant family such as an aunty married a white guy. my dad is a hindu and my mum is a sikh, theyre both different religions, of course they didnt have to convert or anything, but why cant i be with who i want to be with, who will make me happy. Converting is a huge decision, but its not a bad thing.

    Theres just so many thoughts going through my head. for example what if i introduce the girl to my parents, and my parents say things to her, discouraging her to continue, or go crazy. she would obviously not want to go ahead as my own parents wouldnt want her. so its not even just the issue of converting, thats the big first step, the next steps are introduction, fights, disagreement.
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    (Original post by DeathGuardElite)
    I would also love to ask about a previous point you said of a "legitimate marriage" explain please because well Marriage is a state thing or are you doing it to make some old fart happy or to make a "god" happy? it makes no sense
    a muslim girl cannot marry a non muslim. so in order for that to happen i would have to convert.
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    (Original post by anonymous125)
    a muslim girl cannot marry a non muslim. so in order for that to happen i would have to convert.
    Ok well Why cant a Muslim Girl marry a non muslim?
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    (Original post by DeathGuardElite)
    Ok well Why cant a Muslim Girl marry a non muslim?
    It's haram? i dont know im not a muslim!! haha
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    (Original post by anonymous125)
    It's haram? i dont know im not a muslim!! haha
    Haram? Well lol look Marriage is a State backed thing Who cares what some old person thinks its what is Real that matters far more plus you are a Sikh you do not fall under the Muslim ruling :/
    I am not a Muslim but i know what Islam is as i researched all major religions.
    • #1
    #1

    Being raised in a Sikh family(although I'm atheist now), I understand how difficult this must be. IN fact, I know exactly what you're going through. My sister is a Sikh and her husband is a Muslim...it wasn't easy. There were a lot of disagreements within the two families and my own family. But it ended up going OK and they're married now.

    I don't know what to say because I don't know what your family is like or what the girl's family is like. Maybe they won't make you convert, or maybe they'll beat you up and throw you out of the house...all I can say is you have to decide which you want more in case it does come to a choice - your family or your girl? Tough choice
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    (Original post by anonymous125)
    is your family really religious and strict? you see my family are to a certain extent, but i dont understand why me converting would be a massive problem. i understand im going against what i was brought up with, but some of my far distant family such as an aunty married a white guy. my dad is a hindu and my mum is a sikh, theyre both different religions, of course they didnt have to convert or anything, but why cant i be with who i want to be with, who will make me happy. Converting is a huge decision, but its not a bad thing.

    Theres just so many thoughts going through my head. for example what if i introduce the girl to my parents, and my parents say things to her, discouraging her to continue, or go crazy. she would obviously not want to go ahead as my own parents wouldnt want her. so its not even just the issue of converting, thats the big first step, the next steps are introduction, fights, disagreement.
    umm.. i wouldn't call them strict, as some of my cousins are in relationships with people of all different religions, like my dads side of the family is hindu and his sisters son is with a chinese girl at the moment, but initially she wants him to settle with an indian, but what's the point of him doing that? i think for asian people, their religion and culture is what they know so much about, and especially if youre the son of the family, they want to be able to do all the traditions and ceremonies as they would if you wanted to marry an indian. Another example is like, my moms brothers son. my moms side is mainly sikh, and their son is with a italian/south indian girl, its crazy how they've all accepted it.. but if im honest with you it always seems so easy for a son rather then a daughter..

    as you probably know pride is another major issue that asian families always seem they need to think about, which i really don't understand. why should they care what other people think of what their family is doing, like who are they to judge. but you must be aware, that the biggest conflicting religions are infact islam and sikhism, it's a shame and you really can't help who you fall in love with. and yeah i totally understand where youre coming from with fights and disagreements, but i think that's going to be a part of it if im honest, they're going to want there own way and will show it through that, but somehow something will come out of it/

    you're 20 at the moment, have you ever considered waiting a while.. say a year before you want to get married? you may feel like when the time is ready you know that is what you want..

    but about your mom and dad being different religons, i think its totally different as hindu and sikhs are both indian and there rituals and culture is similar. but islam is just so different to that, and you're commiting not only to what her family want but to her religion which is so strict, you need to be able to see yourself living that life, not just for her but for the sake of what they preach too..
 
 
 
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