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Have you ever been insulted about your looks? Watch

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    -When I had short hair I used to always be told that I looked like a boy
    -Asian so hairy before I was old enough for hair removal
    -fat

    But yay now I have long hair, have discovered waxing and threading, and lost a lot of weight. Also I have a really great bf who makes me feel so much more confident in my looks :3


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    My skin is slightly darker than what I gather to be the norm for a white British person*, especially when I've been on holiday. Because of this and my dark hair, I'm constantly called Asian.

    It really bothers me, and it's probably shouldn't.

    Obviously, I'm not Asian. It's nothing against people from Asia, it's just I'm British...

    * I'm not saying there is a normal skin colour for a white British person
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    Oh god, yeah. I despise myself because of it. I just can't move on from all the memories of the insults and the bullying and just every damn painful thing that's happened.

    Earlier today I was holding my 5 month old nephew for a while and he was happy and laughing until his mum (my sister) gave him some watermelon and took it away when it got too messy. He started crying. My sister dissed me and then said "...that's why no one wants to be friends with you". She was joking. I knew she was joking but I was in a horrible mood for reasons explained below and I just snapped and said "no, no one wants to know me because I'm fat." I was rendered speechless because that is not something my current 18 year old self would say, let alone think! It's something 10 year old me would say. I mean, 10 year old me did say that when I was getting bullied by my friends for my weight!

    I've always had confidence issues because of my past and in the last year or two I used those issues productively and made myself attractive. Because of my past I now overcompensate with my natural looks (meaning I don't wear make up or fake anything, except for height because heels are just so damn gorgeous! ) and seem to subconsciously put on a slight provocative show when I go out whether it's shopping, with friends, or to an actual event/party.

    After I said what I said to my sister I had a flashback of some thoughts I had earlier today when I realised just how much I despise myself -- my siblings and I took our nephew out and they kept wanting to take pictures and they know how much I hate taking pictures and constantly being told "stand there", "look here", "why don't you get in the picture?!" just kept irritating me more and make me feel more and more depressive. (I do always tell my family "take as many pictures of me as you want, just don't make me look at the camera".) The biggest reason I hate having pictures taken is because of my weight issues that stem from my childhood which have lasted until two years ago. So, when I was being forced to pose for a group picture I started picturing what I'll look like in the picture and then that thought snowballed into so many flashbacks of my recent past where so many people including friends, family and strangers made some sort reaction to my supposedly "beautiful" looks. Over the last two years, since I've started working on making myself attractive I seem to have started despising me more and more but ignoring it. It's like no matter how many people can tell me that I look good or no matter how many synonyms for the word "attractive" they can use on me (and I have had some random stranger whisper sexy in my ears when I was out shopping once!) I just can't believe them because I can't help but think that I'm ****ing ugly. And I never use the word "ugly" on anything unless I mean it with a passion. For a short while I convinced myself that I was attractive but now it's like my mindset is reversing and the lies I told myself are unravelling -- for the past year I manipulated myself into thinking that I'm attractive and I would try to use what people have said to me about me to prove to myself that I am attractive and worth something but now those lies have just deteriorated into something old because I've become my vulnerable and insignificant self again. Superficially I still look attractive or whatever and I still get the same reaction from people about my looks but mentally I just feel disgusted at myself for being me.

    It's amazing how all of this was ignited by bullying and being insulted for something so superficial as my looks.
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    I stopped being insulted by it at a early age. Growing up with ginger hair didn't help, being bigger than normal didn't help too.

    Still get it a lot still however, with hair down to my waist nearly and being male. However I seemed to gained the name hagrid by a lot of people it seems so 90% of the people are to scared to say it to me these days.

    It's never bothered me however, if they got nothing better to do then its rather sad.

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    not really...i'm blessed with my looks + personality. Lucky me.
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    (Original post by Sheldor)
    :eek: How could you get insulted online, if all your display pictures are that pretty then I don't understand what people could find to be mean about!:dontknow:

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    I don't know how to respond when people say things that nice to me :P I use the same DP everywhere. Thank youuu =D
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    It's always been noticed I'm Skinner than most guys my age.

    I'm 5'11 which is about average, I'm defiantly not anorexic, just simply my army are not as big as other guys, probs 5 years behind (I'm 21).
    I'm getting less self conscious but I find it quite hard to wear t-shirts etc. I do wear nice clothes, just always find tricks to hide it. Luckily I'm finally starting to put weight on and when I hit 11-12 stone I'll start going gym :P


    Another weird thing, in halls a guy I live with always used to say how hairless and skinny I am (though mostly about the amount of body hair) I do have facial hair if I don't shave, not got a hairy chest but my belly has, got normal hairy legs for a guy, full head of hair and on my arms. Like every time I get out the shower and walk between rooms, or into kitchen etc, or for dare during drinking games to get kit off he "always" used to comment on it.

    I always put it down to possibly his own insecurity with the fact that (while he's not underweight) he is very tall and thus has that kind of skeletal body build and has lots and lots of body hair.
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    (Original post by c.a1979)
    everybody has. and yes, even good looking people. an attractive woman may get insults from time to time based on envy or spite. if a man is attractive but very tall people may joke at him for that.

    i guess ugly people may get more insults, but it's not exclusive to them.
    Thank you for saying this. This has given me some hope actually, because I don't think I'm ugly and yet I've been given harsh comments in the past. And yet, when I came to University, it was 100% the other way around, which was extremely confusing -- at school I was routinely told I was awful (see my previous post for the horrible details of it), and yet at Uni I was considered one of the most beautiful girls on my course (me and another girl, to be precise). It can be very confusing.
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    (Original post by rachiriot)
    I don't know how to respond when people say things that nice to me :P I use the same DP everywhere. Thank youuu =D
    I need to agree here. I'm a girl, and I can say you look incredible.



    If you were ever bullied, it must have been out of spite.
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    (Original post by Amelia-Babe)
    not really...i'm blessed with my looks + personality. Lucky me.
    Maybe looks but definitely not personality.
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    I used to be insulted for the fact I dye my hair ginger and have a gap in my teeth when I was at secondary school. As soon as I got to college though, those were the two main things I was complimented on.
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    I'm ginger.

    Yep, never had any nasty comments. Obvs.
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    Was called fat/chubby basically all through school.

    Even though it was largely baby fat and I've lost most of it now, I still have a huge paranoia about this, feel perpetually uncomfortable in my body (even around my boyfriend) and get very depressed after eating any more a couple of large meals.
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    (Original post by Yasmin25)
    I used to be insulted for the fact I dye my hair ginger and have a gap in my teeth when I was at secondary school. As soon as I got to college though, those were the two main things I was complimented on.
    I had the same experience with my freckles. In secondary school everyone was like HAHA OMG FRECKLES, now people say they're cute
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    I grew up with this group of lads through school, and they've always teased about my chin. I have the Halls stubborn chin I used to be hurt but now I insult them back. It's more of a banter now. It's getting boring. Move on man.
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    Well...

    I have long blond hair and was once taking a stroll in my aviator sunglasses (so I had the Californian bleach blond surfer look going) and a Vietnamese friend of mine saw me and said:

    Him: "Holy **** if you were in a hot country you would look awesome!"

    Me: "Awesome, thanks!"

    Him: "Yeh if you were back in Vietnam you'd have no problem getting prostitutes. But now you're in Britian so you look like a complete tw*t!"

    Wasn't sure what to think of it but it made me laugh so hard. I still wear those glasses.
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    Some truly disgusting people on this planet. If you have nothing good to say to someone, why is it so hard to keep quiet? I feel so sad when i read posts where people talk about being treated like crap because of their physical appearance. Trust me THEY ARE THE UGLY ONES not you!!! Stay strong, what goes around undoubtedly comes back around ❤
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    All my life i've been called ugly pretty much! It's taken all my self confidence, and I always believed and still do believe what people tell me. There are so many occasions, but i'll say a few

    -One time when I was shopping with my friend (she's a bit different to me as in she's pretty and not as shy as me), and as we came to the bustop we sat down and a bus was approaching. All I heard was banging on the windows on the top deck, and about 5 boys, were banging on the window and shouting out, "OI YOU YOU'RE UGLY/ BUTTERS" (a london slang for really ugly). My friend thought it was her and pointed at herself in confusion and they shouted out "NO THAT GIRL NEXT TO YOU" and the bus went past. Made me feel like poo, cause I felt ugly next to my friend anyway! But after the bus went a middle aged man said to me "They have no idea what they're talking about, you're a very fine woman, don't listent to them" I guess that cheered me up

    -My cousin came from France to stay with us, and she doesn't speak english, only knows a few words. Anyways, there was a park near our house, and I wasn;t really fond of it because people our age always hung around there, and I hate hanging around with people my age! Anyways we went to play because she insisted, and as we left, and boy on a bike came up to me, and said "um my friend said you two really ugly". I never felt so embarrassed, I just put my head down and kept walking home. What made it worse was that my cousin kept asking, what he said but i made something up.

    -I put a picture on facebook, which I hate doing, because I start pointing out flaws! Anyways I got a decent amount of likes, and even a boy liked it! (that never happened, because I usually was too shy to speak to or add boys on facebook) and out of no where a boy i knew from school commented 'fat lips' and ive never felt worse about my lips! I have full lips and loads of people tell me i'm lucky, but ive grown to hate my lips


    These experiences and many others have forced me to believe that I am truly ugly, despite the countless amount of people who tell me I'm not. I hate speaking to boys because i automatically think they are judging me or are trying to avoid me, its ruined my life :/ Before you call someone ugly, think!
    How some stranger can come up to you and tell you your ugly is unbelievable. Keep your opinions to yourself people! They obviously just wanted a reaction or something.


    This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App
    • #28
    #28

    Well I've never been called ugly, tbh my school isn't that bad at all. Just back in year 7 as I had dark hair I had a lady stache and I hadn't had my eyebrows done so I knew for a fact people said stuff but not to my face. I don't have evidence of people even saying it, I just kinda knew. Anyway got that sorted in year 8 so it wasn't that bad
    Also I never wore makeup in high school so obvs other girls looked more attractive, but I don't know whether I can say the same now. Cheap make up from the age of 11 really does ruin your skin in a couple of years!
    I'm 5ft 11 and I've never felt ashamed of it, proud if anything I love my height! Never had any Horrible comments either, actually most people say im lucky and are amazed! but one thing that does annoy me is 'woah how will you find a husband'. There's advantages and disadvantages of being short and tall - it's not something you can control so why bother? (Whereas the eyebrows etc were) also I'm not thin but I'm not fat I always looked a bit broad in my blazer and never liked it but I just lived with it. Our school was alright esp after reading these !!
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    (Original post by Saliency)
    Maybe looks but definitely not personality.
    Hate is strong in this one..:rolleyes:
 
 
 
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