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girlfriend doesnt want me 2 live in halls

Reply 60

funsize17

there shouldn't be ultimatums in a relationship

Reply 61

.phantom

10

If I'd been living with my bf for 2 years then he wanted to move to halls for 'convenience' and 'independence' I'd see alarm bells and probs react the same as her. Seems weird to move in with a partner, big step, and then just move out again when it's more simple for you... living together's a commitment isn't it? Sounds like you're just bored of her.

Shame you can't get a place together near the uni. Halls are also overrated imo.

Reply 62

bigmo7

17

It sounds as if she doesn't feel the same way about you as you do about her....if she did she wouldn't give you the ultimatum.

You're better off without her...

Reply 63

pumpkin7

13

i guess if you have been living together for a while, it's harder to let you go into halls because she won't know where you are 24/7. i suggest you decide whether your girlfriend or your education are more important. you will probably find it hard to be a proper 'student' if you are living with her.

Reply 64

caw123

10

She doesn't trust you, drop the dead wood.

Reply 65

Psycho0101

12

Don't be an idiot and make uni decisions based on your bf/gf. The chances are that you'll break up in the future.

Reply 66

tinywings

7

Sounds like you don't really want to be in this relationship.

I think all the people calling her clingy are being a little unfair.

Reply 67

tim12387

OP

surely the fact that im asking advice means i care about the relationship

Reply 68

tinywings

7

tim12387

surely the fact that im asking advice means i care about the relationship

Well, it's a bit weird to be living together and then want to move out and live with a load of strangers instead. You obviously want different things from the relationship, anyway.

Reply 69

tim12387

OP

yh reason i wana move out is because my uni isnt that far away anyway and ive got to commute with a hell of a load of kit as im doing an outdoor education course

Reply 70

tayalouise

11

Twinston

Op didnt say it was a trust issue btw :smile:

But it probably is
Why else wouldn't she want him to if she didn't think it would threaten their relationship

Reply 71

fox_the_fix

13

wow if a girl tried to blackmail me by saying 'Do/Don't do this or we're breaking up' then she would be out on her ass.

Stop being so Beta

Reply 72

Pink Bullets

15

90% of the people replying obviously haven't read past 'girlfriend doesnt want me 2 live in halls.' :rolleyes:

Has anyone thought about the fact that, if he moves out, she'll probably either have to start paying twice as much rent or find a new place to live. Hence, her life will be thrown completely off kilter if he moves. There's nothing to suggest that she's 'clingy' or 'jealous'. Think before you post...

Reply 73

Xanyi

8

I find it unfair the amount of people saying 'she's clingy, dump her', when the OP clearly stated 'I don't want to break up'.

I wonder how many people saying that have actually ever been in a 3 year relationship. It's easy to say she's too clingy but the truth is they're a couple in love. All it takes - as the OP has stated has been successful in his later replies - is a serious, calm conversation.

I hope things work out for you; enjoy uni :]

Reply 74

Farmpants

living in halls is a good experience, its part of uni life - does your gf not trust you or something?
if she's worried about not seeing you enough then tell her to move closer to you, or wait a year then move in together after halls.
seriously, you've got to prioritise your education/your girlfriend and choose which is more important to you.

Reply 75

tim12387

OP

its all sorted now thankssss :smile:

Reply 76

Twinston

tayalouise

But it probably is
Why else wouldn't she want him to if she didn't think it would threaten their relationship

Because her boyfriend moved in with her for 2 years and now he wants to move out for indepence, great confident booster! great relationship booster!

Reply 77

Twinston

tim12387

its all sorted now thankssss :smile:

How did you sort it?

Reply 78

tim12387

OP

agreed that if the commute wasnt working il move when our contracts up and shes going to live at her uni

Reply 79

McCoy

tim12387

hi my g/f doesnt want me to move into halls at uni. we currently have lived together for 2 years and been together 3. It would make it easier for my course and i want the independance.
she said she'd break up if i moved but i love her and dont want to break up over it.
advice?

Firstly, what's the situation. Are you moving away to go to uni or are you going to uni locally? Is she at the same/different uni? What year of uni are you in?
I can understand it would be a shock to her if you're planning on moving into Halls in your 3rd year of uni, for instance.

I think it's best to sit down and try and understand her fears and reasons for not wanting you to make this move. It may well be that she's jealous you'll find someone else/go out boozing with the lads etc and not spend time with her... you just have to assess what her fears are and reassure her of the truth.

Have you told her why YOU want to move into Halls? That could also help her understand.

girlfriend doesnt want me 2 live in halls

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