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Starting a BDSM relationship with the boyfriend

I've always been fascinated by the Dominant/submissive relationship but passed it off as a sexual fantasy rather than reality.

However, after being separated from my ex-boyfriend for a whole year since he went to uni (he's the year above me), I've thought more and more about this and haven't felt anything completely sexually satisfying.

My boyfriend and I were going to get back together this summer since we have missed each other, but he recently told me that he's developed a curiosity in BDSM and D/s activities.

I haven't told him I feel the same, but I have said that I am looking forward to trying new things like this, as I am still not sure if it's just a fantasy (eg. a rape fantasy - no one actually wants to be literally raped!)

The question is... how on earth do we start a relationship like this if none of us have any experience?

I raised an eyebrow.

buy a riding crop. WHHHhhipppppppissssssssshhhhh.

Reply 3

Leon Trotsky

Invite me 'round, I'll get the ball rolling. :sexface:

No, literally, I have a huge metal ball that I'll strap you to and roll you around on.

Reply 4

Reue

You start of fairly tame, maybe buy some play handcuffs or a bit of rope, blindfold etc.

The move it up a few knotches :biggrin:

Reply 5

Roocky

Smack him right in the kisser, if he grins then you're on, time to get the shackles out :yep:

Reply 6

Casshern1456

am I the only one who dunno what BDSM stands for? :huff:

Reply 7

AzureMews

Casshern1456

am I the only one who dunno what BDSM stands for? :huff:

Yes.

On another note:
Why do girls always say 'THE boyfriend'?
It's just.. Not right.

Reply 8

Hatshepsut3

Oh my ....
what does BDSM stand for?

Reply 9

Guvnor

Another 6-12 months you'll probably be bored again, what you going to try next, Double penetrations and gang bangs ?

On a serious note, I seriously don't know why you need to ask TSR in regards to your sexual life ? If you want to experience new things then talk to your boyfriend.

Reply 10

mac32

Just do whatever pleases you while respecting the limits set by the other participant(s)

Reply 11

Einheri

Hatshepsut3

Oh my ....
what does BDSM stand for?

Bondage, domination, sadism, masochism.

Reply 12

CherryCherryBoomBoom

I would just Google for the relevant websites and forums if I were you, then speak to your boyfriend. Common sense really...

Reply 13

asdalol

Addzter

No, literally, I have a huge metal ball that I'll strap you to and roll you around on.

Rofl This made me laugh :biggrin:

Reply 14

Leon Trotsky

asdalol

Rofl This made me laugh :biggrin:

How's about instead of rolling on the floor laughing, we try rolling on my ball, shagging?

PM me if you're up for it. :sexface:

Reply 15

TheSownRose

Einheri

Bondage, domination, sadism, masochism.

Actually, there's a few different ones: bondage and discipline, domination and submission, sadism and masochism.

Reply 16

asdalol

Addzter

How's about instead of rolling on the floor laughing, we try rolling on my ball, shagging?

PM me if you're up for it. :sexface:

You and me both :sexface:

I want to hear more of this big ball you have.

Hope its not too late to take up the offer.. :sexface:

Let's get the ball rolling :coma:

Reply 17

Umbrella.Girl

Anonymous

The question is... how on earth do we start a relationship like this if none of us have any experience?

Heeey! You've gotta start somewhere! :gthumb:

Reply 18

Schmokie Dragon

OP - join sites like Informed Consent and Alt. Google should throw you up a few. It can seem quite shocking initially but you don't need to dive right in at needleplay and orgies. Take it slow, get a feel for what is out there and get involved with a forum or two. They'll be able to give you much more appropriate advice than we can.

When I started out with mild BDSM I just did what I liked and acted out a few fantasies. Maybe experiment with blindfolds and ropes and also some light spanking and biting. You know, take it slow and see what each other likes! If he's said he's interested you don't need to make a big deal out of it.

But, most importantly, do your research.

Hatshepsut3

Oh my ....
what does BDSM stand for?

Casshern1456

am I the only one who dunno what BDSM stands for?

Bondage and/or Discipline, Domination and/or Submission, Sado-Masochism (or Sadism and/or Masochism), Slave and/or Master.

Lots of things. It's a massive family of "non-vanilla" (i.e. non-tame) sexual preferences and behaviours.