What's your relationship with your parents like?

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Erratic to say the least.

My mum does so much for me and has made lots of sacrifices just for me but at the same time she becomes so paranoid about some things it just pisses me off so much. Its hard to see all the good things when a few of the annoying things she does hits a nerve. The relationship was pretty very strained and almost bad for the last few months (post "OMG you missed your offer by a grade" moaning). Its back to normal now...almost. At the end of the day I am very close to her and I hope will always be. When I go away to uni it'll probably improve because of less arguing.

My dad...lets not go there, its terrible. I really don't feel any attachment and I don't think he does. Once or twice a year it feels like he does, but otherwise no. The ONLY time we are together is while racing against each other in Gran Turismo and in general while playing video games :biggrin:

Reply 61

siani-chan

I don't really know.

I'm pretty much exactly like my dad, we nearly always see eye to eye and he never shouts at me. He will nag me, but when he does I know it's serious because it doesn't happen very often.

With my mum however.. We fall out all the time. I got to uni and hoped the distance would help, and it has - in that because we don't see each other every day we don't argue every day. I've been home since last Friday and she's spent most of the time yelling at me about being lazy.

I've been doing uni work all day and she told me off for not doing housework. It's just like before I even went to uni, all over again. Then she turns round and says "I thought you would have grown up a bit by now, having to do all this by yourself - clearly you haven't." THAT upset me. I live in a flat with 9 other girls and every time we have a disagreement we sort it out there and then, we don't yell at each other and we certainly do not insult each other. So we're being adults by discussing it and solving it, and yet my mother feels the only way to deal with a difficult situation is to yell, and then she wonders why no one responds in the way she wants them to?

We probably are quite similar, we just don't want to accept it.

I spent the last 4 years not wanting to be at home, I finally get my chance to get away and I'm not happy elsewhere - when I get home again I'm still not happy because all we do is argue. What the hell am I supposed to do? :frown:

Reply 62

boysenberry

Not bad as such with my dad, just non-existant. We don't 'chat' or anything. He moved here from Pakistan in the 70s and is pretty much stuck in that time and way of thinking, so I doubt we'll see eye-to-eye on anything. I am closer to my mum and can speak to her about some important things, but there's a huge amount I leave out because she'd either tell me to piss off out the house or just have nothing meaningful to say. Still love them both of course. They've done so much for me.

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 63

Sabertooth

Original post by RachelOranges

its not easy I know. Have you told your mum how you feel?

Yeah one day I just totally snapped at her. I quoted the very nastiest things she'd said to me over the years back at her and she denied them all. Then said all the horrible criticisms and comments she makes are just "joking", yep telling me I look like a "freak" when she doesn't like what I'm wearing is a joke, or laughing in my face when something I try that she didn't want me to try goes wrong is also a joke. :rolleyes:

She's been slightly better since then, but I can see her trying to hold her tongue. She hasn't changed how nasty she thinks things about me she just isn't as in my face - which I guess is an improvement it still hurts though.

Easier just to avoid her entirely tbh. :dontknow:

Sorry for the rant :p:

Reply 64

Iorek

Original post by SAK.A

Mine is kind of crap.
I don't have anything in common with my mum so we hardly talk unless it's necessary. I don't think I've ever had like a heart to hear conversation with my mum.
And my relationship with my dad is also not very good, I hardly talk to him as he's always working and every time I talk to him all he ever talks about is school.
This makes me stay away from my parents and my sisters have like a really close relationship with my parents.
Oh and I'm 16 it may change with age but I doubt it.

I can relate to you and understand how you feel though I don't have any siblings.

Parents, both of them love their jobs more than anything else.

When I was 16, the only thing I was ever allowed to do was what they wanted me to do and much much later I realized its because they were trying to live the life they wanted when they were at my age. Hence was made to go for a whole bunch of classes which I absolutely hated.

After I left for university, things improved for awhile. Eventually their control freak nature would come knocking on the door, and their favourite words were "if you don't do it like how I tell you to, then we will stop paying for your university."

Trying to please them is a never ending thing. During uni, they didn't care if I was enjoying my time there, the only thing they wanted to hear was what my grades were. The only acceptable grades were straight As which means scoring 90% or more every time. Once I got an 89% for an accounting paper, I used to hear it from them months and eventually I had to retake that paper to get an A for it or they just would not shut the hell up.

After graduation, things improved a bit as I had followed their "plan" and was where they wanted me to be..... but then I started to change and so did their tone.

Now they are at war with me. They don't like it that I'm in relationship with a white girl and they told me not to call or speak to them again until I break it off with my gf. I told them I won't break up with her, they start telling me they tell me they will exclude me from their will and even said not to go back to their home.

Reply 65

Darthdevidem

Original post by siani-chan

I spent the last 4 years not wanting to be at home, I finally get my chance to get away and I'm not happy elsewhere - when I get home again I'm still not happy because all we do is argue. What the hell am I supposed to do? :frown:

Pretend your happy (to yourself more than others), it worked for me for the past few months!!! Eventually I started feeling I was happy too!

Reply 66

siani-chan

Original post by Darthdevidem

Pretend your happy (to yourself more than others), it worked for me for the past few months!!! Eventually I started feeling I was happy too!

That worked for a while but now it doesn't anymore, thanks for the advice anyway. :h:

Reply 67

minime23

Original post by SAK.A

When I saw this I swear I thought I wrote it, this pretty much explains me except that I will be 16 in 3 months :smile:

My sister is really close to my mum
I get really sad and a bit upset when I'm around my friends and parents not that am jealous I wish my relatonship with my parents was pretty much the same

Reply 68

Khodu

My parents are ok. My mum wears the trousers, my dad just follows her. But I'm happy with them, they seem to still love eachother after 25 years. They met on their wedding day lol :smile:

But there'd definitely be things I would do differently.

Reply 69

BBYoungLady

well we have a laugh once in a while, and they do give me tons of freedom so it's not bad. However, i do not have the type of relationship where i can talk to them about anything.