I feel like I've wasted my whole youth

aditya1998

When I was 15 I told my parents that I wanted to study humanities because I liked languages and geography. But my parents wanted me to study engineering or computer science. I did very poorly in my 11th and 12th grades studying science/maths which I was very bad at. I was enrolled in a private university to study computer science. I didn't like it at all and dropped out. I told my family that I would study pure science instead. But yet again, the following year I was coerced into studying computer science.

I spent four years just trying to pass some exams and graduated with a mediocre GPA. I never did any of the things that young people tend to do, like dating, drinking, etc. I never even left the house without my grandmother or my parents chaperoning me.

I currently work at an IT job as a backend developer, where I struggle to communicate with my colleagues who speak a different language from me. It's very frustrating and the hours are very long, usually 10 AM to 7 PM. I earn a good salary but I feel like my job has sucked out all the joy from my life,

I really wanted to be a linguist, so in 2021 I tried to apply for a PhD in computational linguistics. For this, I had to clear an aptitude test (mostly maths and logical reasoning) that had nothing to do with computational linguistics. I didn't clear the exam.

Recently I applied to some American and British universities to study computational linguistics. Living in a Western country is ridiculously expensive for us, so I have to take a massive loan that I will spend the next five or six years trying to pay off. I like to think that I will be able to work in something related to languages after this, but in all likelihood, my future job will be like any other IT job.

I feel like nothing good has happened in my life. I know I am too old to blame my parents. But will things ever get better? At this point I want to achieve two things: I want to work in a job related to languages, and I want to be in a romantic relationship. I have never been in a relationship in my entire life and my parents are telling me they will find an arranged marriage for me when I am 30.

Reply 1

username5955039

21

Sorry mate your currently in a IT job I’m crying for one this is a field that I specialise in and have studied my whole life I’m sure your already earnings bags as it is appreciate it. Being into a relationship and finding the one will come with someone that can prove and show stability financially, as well as the qualifications with a stable job for the long term. No offence but I don’t know your culture or the culture you come from but arranged marriage is just common nowadays I’m crying to marry the love of my life and yet it’s just hitting hurdles at the minute. Appreciate what you got mate!

Reply 2

melrosepetal

13

I personally don’t find the other comment helpful, as it doesn’t matter what you’ve got, if you’re not happy it doesn’t mean anything.

Focus on your goals. If you want to be in a relationship, put yourself out there a little more - for example, join local groups to meet new people or maybe try dating apps (with caution, of course). In terms of career, think about what you would truly be interested in doing as work. Research it. Then work out the path that you will need to follow to get there.

Anything is possible. You can change things around. I have all of the faith in you!

Reply 3

Bean_cat

15

Original post by aditya1998

When I was 15 I told my parents that I wanted to study humanities because I liked languages and geography. But my parents wanted me to study engineering or computer science. I did very poorly in my 11th and 12th grades studying science/maths which I was very bad at. I was enrolled in a private university to study computer science. I didn't like it at all and dropped out. I told my family that I would study pure science instead. But yet again, the following year I was coerced into studying computer science.

I spent four years just trying to pass some exams and graduated with a mediocre GPA. I never did any of the things that young people tend to do, like dating, drinking, etc. I never even left the house without my grandmother or my parents chaperoning me.

I currently work at an IT job as a backend developer, where I struggle to communicate with my colleagues who speak a different language from me. It's very frustrating and the hours are very long, usually 10 AM to 7 PM. I earn a good salary but I feel like my job has sucked out all the joy from my life,

I really wanted to be a linguist, so in 2021 I tried to apply for a PhD in computational linguistics. For this, I had to clear an aptitude test (mostly maths and logical reasoning) that had nothing to do with computational linguistics. I didn't clear the exam.

Recently I applied to some American and British universities to study computational linguistics. Living in a Western country is ridiculously expensive for us, so I have to take a massive loan that I will spend the next five or six years trying to pay off. I like to think that I will be able to work in something related to languages after this, but in all likelihood, my future job will be like any other IT job.

I feel like nothing good has happened in my life. I know I am too old to blame my parents. But will things ever get better? At this point I want to achieve two things: I want to work in a job related to languages, and I want to be in a romantic relationship. I have never been in a relationship in my entire life and my parents are telling me they will find an arranged marriage for me when I am 30.

I'm sorry to hear that you're not happy and things haven't turned out the way you wanted. Though things aren't as bad as you think, studying computer science means that job opportunities are very versatile and you do have a lot of options, your situation reminds me of my own; I wanted to do geography but then I chose computer science and I've even managed to work on a wildlife research project, don't think of your degree as something that will bring you down but rather something you can use to get you to where you want to be.

You could try applying for new jobs whilst you're working this job and also see if there are any online courses or other university courses that you can pursue to get into the languages field, but even then this is something you need to research further e.g. do you want to work in a company that specialises in interpretation and translating? What aspects of your degree can be used for this? Are there any companies near where you currently live that you can work for? Could you consider working for a travelling/ wildlife company due to the interest in geography? You need to ask yourself these questions and then start planning, you do have a good chance of a career switch because a computing degree is versatile as I mentioned and you do have a good amount of work experience.

Things will change but you need to figure out the path you want to take and put the effort in, you've got a fantastic degree doesn't matter if it's average or whatever - because by having that degree you are immediately more qualified for the job than most people, you're doing great, really! In terms of relationships though, you should put yourself out there as others have said - ask your friend to set you up with someone, go on blind dates, social events etc - you're not even 30 yet and you've still got ages to figure things out - don't give up before you have even started, you are capable of finding happiness and doing what you want to do! Good luck! 🙂

I feel like I've wasted my whole youth

Quick Reply

Related discussions

Latest

Trending

Trending

Articles for you