Can a relationship work without lust?

There's this guy who I've been friends with for a few years now. People have always said we'd make a great couple, I guess because we get on so well; we have so much in common and we can always have a laugh and a joke when we're together. So, I can see what people mean when they say we'd be good together - I think we would too...I think. The only problem is that i'm not sure if I actually fancy him physically. He's not ugly, I'm just not that attracted to him...

Do you think a relationship like this could work? :confused:

Reply 1

Climbontoyourseahorse

9

I think you have yourself there a good friend. The fact that you're almost asking strangers for encouragement just tells us that you shouldn't. If you really wanted to be with him, you'd know. It would be very silly to risk the friendship and try at being something more when you don't even have feelings for him. Friendships like this one are like gold dust and only really worth risking if you have very strong feelings, which you don't. If you're worried people will think you're shallow for not taking things further with him, remind them that sexual relationships require sexual attraction, and that's just not happening for you, or at least not on your part.

Reply 2

i.student

better than random boys in bar or club.
yes, u d still enjoy sex with the man.
sex is sex.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Climbontoyourseahorse

I think you have yourself there a good friend. The fact that you're almost asking strangers for encouragement just tells us that you shouldn't. If you really wanted to be with him, you'd know. It would be very silly to risk the friendship and try at being something more when you don't even have feelings for him. Friendships like this one are like gold dust and only really worth risking if you have very strong feelings, which you don't. If you're worried people will think you're shallow for not taking things further with him, remind them that sexual relationships require sexual attraction, and that's just not happening for you, or at least not on your part.

I think you've pretty much hit the nail on there head there. You're right, it's not worth risking the friendship.
Thanks so much (: this is what I needed to hear, just been having so many conflicting thoughts and people butting in giving their two cents doesn't help either... x

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by i.student

better than random boys in bar or club.
yes, u d still enjoy sex with the man.
sex is sex.

To be honest, I wasn't just talking about sex, I was talking about 'going out' with him. You know, being boyfriend and girlfriend.
I think the sex part would be a bit weird for me if we were going out.

Reply 5

Roo Bix

11

It sounds like the regard of others in your lives would influence the relationship, which isn't ideal.

You have to ask yourself, do you not fancy him because he's not your type? Or do you not fancy him because you wont make steps out of your friendship boundaries to do so, as in, you wouldn't fancy him because you believe it would feel weird.

Reply 6

kilowattjester

13

But everyone wants to feel loved.

Reply 7

soutioirsim

15

It's then called a frienship.

Reply 8

trooper6

6

Original post by Anonymous

To be honest, I wasn't just talking about sex, I was talking about 'going out' with him. You know, being boyfriend and girlfriend.
I think the sex part would be a bit weird for me if we were going out.

Sooo....you don't have sex with those you go out with?

Can a relationship work without lust?

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