My boyfriend is verbally abusive.

We have been together for over three years and he is my first boyfriend (I am in my mid twenties). He makes fun of me constantly (and says he's teasing) and calls me lazy, says I'm a failure, says I could do with losing a few pounds, texts me everytime he sees a pretty girl (usually a skinny blonde) and tells me he wants to touch them/have sex with them (but then justifies it by saying I am like his best friend and he feels like telling me everything), he sends me abusive messages when he loses his temper (which is like at least once a day), ignores me when I tell him about my day or my problems then continues to talk about himself non -stop, refuses to help me in a crisis yet expects me to be there for him at the drop of a hat. I don't know what to do....worst part is he thinks he's right and that he is the perfect boyfriend. I have forgotten what it must feel like to be in a good, happy relationship...

Does anyone have any advice?

Reply 1

bananabrain

13

Get rid. only way, not going to be easy but he's not a nice person to be with, clearly.

Reply 2

Pink_Chocolate xx

Please dump him and find someone worthy of your time.
You deserve better!

Dump the fool.

if you cant get him to listen to you then end things with him, good boyfriends aren't verbally abusive to their partners and you deserve better.

Reply 5

JustSmile

Original post by Anonymous

We have been together for over three years and he is my first boyfriend (I am in my mid twenties). He makes fun of me constantly (and says he's teasing) and calls me lazy, says I'm a failure, says I could do with losing a few pounds, texts me everytime he sees a pretty girl (usually a skinny blonde) and tells me he wants to touch them/have sex with them (but then justifies it by saying I am like his best friend and he feels like telling me everything), he sends me abusive messages when he loses his temper (which is like at least once a day), ignores me when I tell him about my day or my problems then continues to talk about himself non -stop, refuses to help me in a crisis yet expects me to be there for him at the drop of a hat. I don't know what to do....worst part is he thinks he's right and that he is the perfect boyfriend. I have forgotten what it must feel like to be in a good, happy relationship...
Does anyone have any advice?

You already know the answer - kick him to the curb! You're young, there are plenty of other men, don't stick with an ******* when there are perfectly lovely ones out there.

Reply 6

Roo Bix

11

He sounds self-indulgent and delusional. You deserve better.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Thanks guys. It's gone on for so long now I just don't know how it feels to be happy anymore.

Reply 8

iqlu

8

He sounds terrible. You're letting him get away with too much, get rid!

Reply 9

playlislay

Wow, this sort of sounds like the beginning of my relationship :frown:

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by playlislay

Wow, this sort of sounds like the beginning of my relationship :frown:

Are you still with him?

Reply 11

Tyrannosaurus Cal

15

I will genuinely never understand how guys like this get girls.

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Tyrannosaurus Cal

I will genuinely never understand how guys like this get girls.

He started out nice and kind. He wasn't this way when we first met. Although looking back, the signs were always there but as it was my first relationship and with me very naive and trusting I dismissed it as playfulness. It was never this bad though...

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by swiftylol

Dump the fool.

lol...

Reply 14

SugarPuffs

5

Honestly why are you with this person if he treats you like ****? theres alot of decent guys out there and you have fallen for a total ******* by the sounds of it.

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by SugarPuffs

Honestly why are you with this person if he treats you like ****? theres alot of decent guys out there and you have fallen for a total ******* by the sounds of it.

Habit....too scared I won't find anyone else. Plus he lives with me. Hard to get away.

Reply 16

Menakshelatte

11

why is he still your boyfriend?get rid of him

Reply 17

CameraGirl

13

it may not be easy to hear, especially if he's your first, but the best thing in the long-run would be to try and move on and find someone who will treat you the way you should be treated...

telling you everytime he sees someone pretty but never boosting your confidence, and abusing you then making excuses? have none of it!

Reply 18

SugarPuffs

5

Original post by Anonymous

Habit....too scared I won't find anyone else. Plus he lives with me. Hard to get away.

As if.. well considering its your first relationship, and thinking that you won't be able to get another fella, at least you now know the difference between nice guys and mean guys. Lets just hope he doesn't start physcially hurting you as well since he lives with you. :eek: