Worried about not making friends at uni.. Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#1
Ok so i'm really concerned, i think i might not make any friends at uni.. i'm going to a really big city, which has a lot of night life and a mixture of different people. But when i think about it, i think i can do it.. i can make friends, but i know when i'll actually be there i wont be able to socialise. I'm not a social person at all, and suffer from a low self esteem its going to sound weird. But whenever i meet someone new i think their judging me automatically or don't like me... because i dont think i'm beautiful in any way, i feel fat, obese and bad about myself. it prevents me from talking to people and making friends.
I have some really close friends now.. but their pretty much unsocial as well like me, we only became friends became we've been together since childhood. But meeting new people and making new friends is really, i cant socialise with people well... :confused::confused: i wish i could.
I think other people are going to be more interesting/pretty at uni... and i'll be like the ugly duckling that no-one will talk to. I hate feeling like this..
please some serious advice..? dont make me feel worse.
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Iqbal007
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#2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Ok so i'm really concerned, i think i might not make any friends at uni.. i'm going to a really big city, which has a lot of night life and a mixture of different people. But when i think about it, i think i can do it.. i can make friends, but i know when i'll actually be there i wont be able to socialise. I'm not a social person at all, and suffer from a low self esteem its going to sound weird. But whenever i meet someone new i think their judging me automatically or don't like me... because i dont think i'm beautiful in any way, i feel fat, obese and bad about myself. it prevents me from talking to people and making friends.
I have some really close friends now.. but their pretty much unsocial as well like me, we only became friends became we've been together since childhood. But meeting new people and making new friends is really, i cant socialise with people well... :confused::confused: i wish i could.
I think other people are going to be more interesting/pretty at uni... and i'll be like the ugly duckling that no-one will talk to. I hate feeling like this..
please some serious advice..? dont make me feel worse.
u going London?
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paul_blakeman
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#3
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#3
this is a common concerm for lots of people who go to university, and one that nobody realises! Anybody, and I mean anybody, can make friends at university. People aren't at unviersity to judge, they are there to make friends too, and would be happy to talk to you and make friends! If you are going to a very big city, I am assuming there will also be a big uni (probably more than one) so making friends will be a doddle. Keep in touch with your close friends, go and visit them and all, but don't worry too much it's a big step in life for everyone, and something that has to be done. don't feel too down, have a bit of self-confidence, and you will be fine. good luck
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paul_blakeman
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#4
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#4
And you msut be a social person, to even want to make friends
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jthlm
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#5
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Ok so i'm really concerned, i think i might not make any friends at uni.. i'm going to a really big city, which has a lot of night life and a mixture of different people. But when i think about it, i think i can do it.. i can make friends, but i know when i'll actually be there i wont be able to socialise. I'm not a social person at all, and suffer from a low self esteem its going to sound weird. But whenever i meet someone new i think their judging me automatically or don't like me... because i dont think i'm beautiful in any way, i feel fat, obese and bad about myself. it prevents me from talking to people and making friends.
I have some really close friends now.. but their pretty much unsocial as well like me, we only became friends became we've been together since childhood. But meeting new people and making new friends is really, i cant socialise with people well... :confused::confused: i wish i could.
I think other people are going to be more interesting/pretty at uni... and i'll be like the ugly duckling that no-one will talk to. I hate feeling like this..
please some serious advice..? dont make me feel worse.
just think of uni as being a fresh start for yourself. you can be the person you want to be, be however social you want.. it's not like being at home, no one will know anything about you at first so if you act nice and friendly, people will never know about your past or your current self esteem issues. you just have to try your best to be confident and positive, and people will be drawn to you remember uni is different to school, full of adults and essentially way more mature people (you'd hope) so don't worry about being judged or whatever. if anyone is unfriendly or unkind, then they're not worth dealing with, but you'll definitely meet some people on your wavelength. you'll be fine

just be friendly, confident (or at least give the impression of confidence, even if you're nervous on the inside) and try and make conversation with people you meet when you arrive, and you'll soon find great friends and a great social life i'm sure.
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alwaysme
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#6
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If your fat, just act jolly.

Everybody loves jolly fat people.
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big-boss-91
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#7
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Ok so i'm really concerned, i think i might not make any friends at uni.. i'm going to a really big city, which has a lot of night life and a mixture of different people. But when i think about it, i think i can do it.. i can make friends, but i know when i'll actually be there i wont be able to socialise. I'm not a social person at all, and suffer from a low self esteem its going to sound weird. But whenever i meet someone new i think their judging me automatically or don't like me... because i dont think i'm beautiful in any way, i feel fat, obese and bad about myself. it prevents me from talking to people and making friends.
I have some really close friends now.. but their pretty much unsocial as well like me, we only became friends became we've been together since childhood. But meeting new people and making new friends is really, i cant socialise with people well... :confused::confused: i wish i could.
I think other people are going to be more interesting/pretty at uni... and i'll be like the ugly duckling that no-one will talk to. I hate feeling like this..
please some serious advice..? dont make me feel worse.
you're not the only one, everyone feels this when they start uni, you'll never truly know what will happen until after fresher's week
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Clayman
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#8
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If you have low confidence because you're overweight, why not do something about it? It's still ages until uni starts. Surely fixing your confidence for the rest of your life is better than the short term satisfaction you get by eating?
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als746
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#9
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I would say its harder not to make friends then it is to make friends at uni, no matter who you are or what you enjoy, you will find at least one other person who likes the same Honestly 100% of people worry about making friends but you can do it!
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Anonymous #2
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If an ugly, skinny social retard like me can make friends, then believe me you'll be fine
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SQ918
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#11
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You will make friends at Uni. Just smile and be friendly and start a basic conversation like 'Hey, How's it going? Is this your first year at uni?'

When I lef school which wasn't long ago, I was so worried that I wouldn't be able to make friends here at college but I was wrong. Whilst lining up outside( I was too early for lecture) there was this girl standing outside the door and I asked her if that was the room for my subject and she said 'yeah' so we started talking. I met a lot of people here in College and I'm happy that I am good friends with them.
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samir12
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#12
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(Original post by Anonymous)
If an ugly, skinny social retard like me can make friends, then believe me you'll be fine
I second this
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robodude789
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#13
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(Original post by alwaysme)
If your fat, just act jolly.

Everybody loves jolly fat people.

from personal experience... this.

but at uni there are so many available chances to meet so many new people you are guaranteed to get on with some just have an open mind and you'll be fine..
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JaiiStarh
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#14
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www.yougo.co.uk

This site is amazing
I've already met up with a few people who are planning to go to the same uni as me thanks to this site!
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NickR92
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#15
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#15
(Original post by Anonymous)
Ok so i'm really concerned, i think i might not make any friends at uni.. i'm going to a really big city, which has a lot of night life and a mixture of different people. But when i think about it, i think i can do it.. i can make friends, but i know when i'll actually be there i wont be able to socialise. I'm not a social person at all, and suffer from a low self esteem its going to sound weird. But whenever i meet someone new i think their judging me automatically or don't like me... because i dont think i'm beautiful in any way, i feel fat, obese and bad about myself. it prevents me from talking to people and making friends.
I have some really close friends now.. but their pretty much unsocial as well like me, we only became friends became we've been together since childhood. But meeting new people and making new friends is really, i cant socialise with people well... :confused::confused: i wish i could.
I think other people are going to be more interesting/pretty at uni... and i'll be like the ugly duckling that no-one will talk to. I hate feeling like this..
please some serious advice..? dont make me feel worse.
I guess it makes both of us on the same boat. I have low self esteem and I feel the same. But it's okay. I'm going uni this year too. But, I guess for me it's a start of something new. I can wait and I can't. I'm just going to put myself put there and see what happens. Dw, there are many others in the same situation. Don't be afraid, make something out of it. It'll be great.
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Anonymous #3
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#16
(Original post by JaiiStarh)
www.yougo.co.uk

This site is amazing
I've already met up with a few people who are planning to go to the same uni as me thanks to this site!
I signed up to this site and felt intimidated by nearly everybody.
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JaiiStarh
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#17
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I signed up to this site and felt intimidated by nearly everybody.
Oh dear.

Well at the end of the day,there are thousands of people in the same position as you. Typically,nobody knows anybody when they start university. I could write you a massive essay giving you tips on how to fake confidence and boost your self esteem but to be honest,the biggest secret is just to smile.

From what I know,during the first week you have to go and sign on to your course,so just smile at a couple of people on your course then wait for them to start conversation,or if you're feeling brave,go ahead and ask them something. Nobody is going to judge you,they'll be more grateful that they actually have someone to talk to!
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Clayman
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#18
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#18
(Original post by SQ918)
You will make friends at Uni. Just smile and be friendly and start a basic conversation like 'Hey, How's it going? Is this your first year at uni?'

When I lef school which wasn't long ago, I was so worried that I wouldn't be able to make friends here at college but I was wrong. Whilst lining up outside( I was too early for lecture) there was this girl standing outside the door and I asked her if that was the room for my subject and she said 'yeah' so we started talking. I met a lot of people here in College and I'm happy that I am good friends with them.
Definitely this also. I made my "main group of friends" by randomly saying "hi, are you in the final year too?" to some guy when I came back from placement. :p:
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emzaz
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#19
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#19
[QUOTE=Anonymous;31194403] Ok so i'm really concerned, i think i might not make any friends at uni.. i'm going to a really big city, which has a lot of night life and a mixture of different people. QUOTE]

From your post your main worry seems to be how people will judge you - I would try not to worry so much about this! I used to think a bit like that too and think randomers on the street would walk past but then I realised - no one nice go round and points out people's defects or thinks people are strange or horrible without a very good reason!

Maybe try and practice making friends? Like start by maybe chatting more to someone at school that you don't know so well and work your way up from there?

I know it can be really difficult if you're self conscious or feeling awkward but it starts with tiny steps! In a way, it's a skill and most of us probably aren't so good at it but if you practice things can only get better! Lots of luck! ^_^
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