Uni Social Worries

Hey

,
So in September I'll be starting University at UoN but I'm starting to get pretty anxious over everything. Throughout my A Levels I wasn't really the most sociable person and only had connections with friends going to different schools. I'm just really worried I won't fit in properly at Uni since I'm not the most extroverted person and I doubt I'll be able to feel confident enough to make enough friends once I'm there.i know everyone else is in the same position as I will be but I really don't think I'll fit in with most people and am worrying that I won't be able to push myself out of my comfort zone enough to become more sociable and make those lifelong friends early on.
I really don't know what to do. I might just be overthinking but sincs i wasn't the most popular at Sixth Form I worry that I'll be able to put myself out there.
Any advice is really appreciated. Thank you.
:smile:

Reply 1

sboshier111

1

Hi im a introvert myself and i understand where your coming from. Anxiety can make meeting people and talking in group settings a big issue. Uni is going to be a amazing experience for you and you will make friends with time. just take it one day at a time and remember your a bad ass who can do this. you made it this far be proud of yourself

Reply 2

Uni of Southampton Students

Official Rep

15

Original post by Merliin

Hey

,
So in September I'll be starting University at UoN but I'm starting to get pretty anxious over everything. Throughout my A Levels I wasn't really the most sociable person and only had connections with friends going to different schools. I'm just really worried I won't fit in properly at Uni since I'm not the most extroverted person and I doubt I'll be able to feel confident enough to make enough friends once I'm there.i know everyone else is in the same position as I will be but I really don't think I'll fit in with most people and am worrying that I won't be able to push myself out of my comfort zone enough to become more sociable and make those lifelong friends early on.
I really don't know what to do. I might just be overthinking but sincs i wasn't the most popular at Sixth Form I worry that I'll be able to put myself out there.
Any advice is really appreciated. Thank you.
:smile:

Hi,

I can completely understand your concerns, however I would say that at university you have the opportunity to meet such a large variety of people that you are likely to meet some that you really click with. Initially, in my experience, people are very willing to chat to lots of different people and it is easier to do so when everybody is in the same boat. It may take time, but make sure that you be yourself in the process.

Moving into your first year accommodation is a great opportunity to make that first network of friends; you form a ready-made group for those initial nights/days out. In terms of course-mates, offering to go for something as simple as a coffee is a great way of breaking the ice, and lots of people will be glad you asked as they may be feeling nervous too!

I also would not worry about making your long term friendship group in the first week of uni, this is often not the case for lots of students. In fact, lots of students find themselves making their life long friends in their second and third years, so please do not stress if you find that it takes you a little longer.

I hope this has offered some reassurance. If you have any more questions, ask away!

Jasmine (an Official University of Southampton Rep) :smile:

Original post by Merliin

Hey

,
So in September I'll be starting University at UoN but I'm starting to get pretty anxious over everything. Throughout my A Levels I wasn't really the most sociable person and only had connections with friends going to different schools. I'm just really worried I won't fit in properly at Uni since I'm not the most extroverted person and I doubt I'll be able to feel confident enough to make enough friends once I'm there.i know everyone else is in the same position as I will be but I really don't think I'll fit in with most people and am worrying that I won't be able to push myself out of my comfort zone enough to become more sociable and make those lifelong friends early on.
I really don't know what to do. I might just be overthinking but sincs i wasn't the most popular at Sixth Form I worry that I'll be able to put myself out there.
Any advice is really appreciated. Thank you.
:smile:

Hey there @Merliin !
I think half of the worry about meeting new people at university is fear of the unknown. It's kind of the mindset that you don't know what's going to happen so your brain tries to fill in the gaps by automatically assuming the worst. I know you probably hear this all the time but the best thing you can do is go in with no expectations. If you say you're not that great at making friends then the best possible thing you can do is put yourself in the prime position for each way that you could make friends. For example, staying in a student halls that's quite social is giving yourself a great chance to meet new people and make friends. Joining a society is a great way to put yourself in an environment to make friends. If you put yourself in social situations, even if it's a mild social situation that's in your comfort zone), you're going to put yourself in a good position to meet people and make friends.

I always recommend to new students to utilise social media as best you can before you go. Try and join as many freshers Facebook groups as you can and then from there you can meet people in your accommodation and on your course. People often find it easier to reach out to people on social media rather than going up to someone in person and just introducing yourself. Don't just limit your accommodation chats to people in your flat, try and reach out to other people in the building. Even if it's just small talk in the beginning, you can just casually slip in that you're nervous about meeting people and making friends and I'm sure every single person you speak to can relate in some way. The key to holding a good conversation is finding some grounds for relatability. If you find things you can relate to each other on, it gradually lets you be more comfortable with that person.

Hope this helped, try not to worry. You've got this!
Lucy - Digital Student Ambassador SHU