Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I started my first year at uni in October and after the first term I completely hate it. I have been constantly trying to enjoy myself, going along to societies etc but I just feel that I haven't really connected with anyone as friends. I enjoy my course, albeit pretty challenging, I just can't get into the social side of the university. It feels as though it's all sport, drinking and such.

    I would love to move to a different university but: a) I don't want to disappoint anyone by moving somewhere else, b) I don't want to be wasting a year and c) I came to my university purely because of the scholarship which meant it is a lot easier financially to be where I am.

    Does anyone else have this feeling? Speaking to my friends from home about university makes me so depressed, as they're having the best times of their life and making great lifelong friends, whilst I'm consistently working and feeling pretty lonely. (Don't even get me started on trying to find a place to live next year!)
    Online

    18
    ReputationRep:
    Why do you think another university would be better?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Was there any point you felt like you enjoyed yourself?
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I don't particularly feel as though I fit in where I am, I don't feel like I can relate to people and find it difficult to find people like myself if that makes sense? If it puts any perspective on my post, I'm at Durham.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Your friends may be having a great time now but in the long term you will have the better future. It is just hard to see it at the moment. You must remember why you went to uni and ultimately that the social side really isnt that important. Try to get the love for your subject, get your head down and get on with it. It is natural to feel this way just after Christmas but just think, a few more weeks and summer will be here and you will be going into second year. Uni does go quickly believe it or not. I really think if you stick with it it will be in your benefit, although youre miserable at the moment. Take care.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    Hi, just so you know you are not the only one who feels that way. I went to uni in September last year and came home as I wasn't enjoying it. Now I've reapplied and have got an offer from a much better uni, so everything has worked out alright.
    I'm sure it will work out for you too
    Online

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by bananacustard20)
    I don't particularly feel as though I fit in where I am, I don't feel like I can relate to people and find it difficult to find people like myself if that makes sense? If it puts any perspective on my post, I'm at Durham.
    Durham... And I read in another of your posts that you're from Middlesbrough... I think I understand now why you feel 'different' to most of your fellow students.

    My impressions of Durham come partly from the videos on the uni site, which I feel actually reinforce its reputation of being for 'Oxbridge wannabees'. OTOH, the two people I know who went there are two of the nicest, grounded people you could meet. Perhaps you need another term or two?
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Hi! I went to Durham last year and came home after a few weeks. I know lots of people think that's far too soon but I just didn't feel as though I fitted in at all, I'm from a small village in Ireland and just felt completely overwhelmed by all the people who were the complete opposite to me in personality and interests. I'm now doing the same course but at a uni at home, I was really scared starting over again incase the same thing happened but it's been great and I've met lots of friends. I understand that this does not happen to everyone and was just my own personal experience but please don't let the fear of disappointing others stop you from doing what you feel is best, as long ad you genuinely know what other realistic options you have if you withdraw from the course you should be okay. My parents were very disappointed at first and were persistent in trying to get me to stay at Durham knowing that I'd worked hard to get there but I can honestly say that I have no regrets. Sure my current uni is less prestigious than DU but its still decent and in the Russell Group so hopefully not that bad
    Hope you get it sorted out okay, feeling out of place isn't nice
    PM if you want to ask anything about the process of withdrawing from DU etc..
    x


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    I'd say stick it out. I'm from a small village, and I live in Durham myself (a local person), and I am going to Durham in October 2013. I know of a few friends that are also in my situation and are currently studying there, and they love it - they aren't posh or from well off backgrounds and they love it there, so why not try and stick it out for longer?

    As someone else stated, it's not just the social side, it's your degree and your future, and if you begin to like the academics, then a degree from Durham in your chosen field could go a long way. Ultimately, the decision is yours - just don't make any rash decisions without thinking everything through!

    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Thanks for all your replies!

    Ultimately I have to stay where I am, purely because I couldn't financially afford to go to another university.

    It just seems as though these people have come from a different planet, I'm the only one on my floor who didn't go to private/boarding school and I know it shouldn't make a difference, but when you're faced with people who've never used a cash machine in their life, can't use a washer/clean up/do general daily tasks, goes out partying constantly on the "lash" it's a bit daunting and bizarre. Sometimes I feel like the collegiate system isn't all that, because when I do make friends with people on my course, they're in a college that's a 25 minute walk away, so people aren't really that bothered to see friends in different colleges. Hopefully things will get better, I'm planning on going to Canada for my third year anyway so I can spend less time at Durham
    Online

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by bananacustard20)
    Thanks for all your replies!

    Ultimately I have to stay where I am, purely because I couldn't financially afford to go to another university.

    It just seems as though these people have come from a different planet, I'm the only one on my floor who didn't go to private/boarding school and I know it shouldn't make a difference, but when you're faced with people who've never used a cash machine in their life, can't use a washer/clean up/do general daily tasks, goes out partying constantly on the "lash" it's a bit daunting and bizarre. Sometimes I feel like the collegiate system isn't all that, because when I do make friends with people on my course, they're in a college that's a 25 minute walk away, so people aren't really that bothered to see friends in different colleges. Hopefully things will get better, I'm planning on going to Canada for my third year anyway so I can spend less time at Durham
    Nice to see so many Durham students living up to their reputation!!!
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Moving to uni is difficult, for everyone. You will settle in eventually and find your niche. Stick it out for the first year and if you're not enjoying it intellectually then consider something else. I think you'll find your place though
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    I hate everybody at uni but I am having the best time!
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Decided to post on the good old student room to see if anyone else is in the same boat for accommodation next year! Definitely going to go back to uni this term determined to find like minded people!
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by bananacustard20)
    I started my first year at uni in October and after the first term I completely hate it. I have been constantly trying to enjoy myself, going along to societies etc but I just feel that I haven't really connected with anyone as friends. I enjoy my course, albeit pretty challenging, I just can't get into the social side of the university. It feels as though it's all sport, drinking and such.

    I would love to move to a different university but: a) I don't want to disappoint anyone by moving somewhere else, b) I don't want to be wasting a year and c) I came to my university purely because of the scholarship which meant it is a lot easier financially to be where I am.

    Does anyone else have this feeling? Speaking to my friends from home about university makes me so depressed, as they're having the best times of their life and making great lifelong friends, whilst I'm consistently working and feeling pretty lonely. (Don't even get me started on trying to find a place to live next year!)
    I felt exactly like you this point through my first year, 3 years on I made the best friends and had an amazing time. Not everyone finds their friendship group straight away, keep on socialising and you'll meet the right people eventually
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Meat is Murder)
    I hate everybody at uni but I am having the best time!

    (Original post by redferry)
    I felt exactly like you this point through my first year, 3 years on I made the best friends and had an amazing time. Not everyone finds their friendship group straight away, keep on socialising and you'll meet the right people eventually
    Exactly these!

    I'm living at home during my stay at University though. University is about meeting people from all walks of life, and I myself did not get private Education. I went to a really low school, and I'm from a low area. I live in County Durham and I'm going to Durham in October. I've met a few of my friends' friends from Durham and they seem lovely. Granted that you will meet people that you will not get along with and/or hate everywhere in life, so you might as well get the best out of it.

    Talk to people with similar interests? Sports societies, music ones, which ever you're interested in?

    Personally, I can't wait.
 
 
 
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Did TEF Bronze Award affect your UCAS choices?
    Useful resources
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.