Breaking up with a girl who has no social life besides me/depression
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Original post by Tyrion_Lannister
I'm pointing out your argument is based on hypocrisy
i'm not arguing with you. there is no argument. i observed that you're a bitch. it isn't up for debate.
Original post by chef
i'm not arguing with you. there is no argument. i observed that you're a bitch. it isn't up for debate.
It's your opinion and you backed it up with hypocrisy
Original post by Tyrion_Lannister
He explained she had depression and made it out that that's one of the reasons he wants to split up with her. I have no idea if OP is male or female, don't be so heteronormative. OP could be a woman, agender, genderqueer, we honestly have no idea, so why you had to say JUST CUZ HEZ A MAN!!1! I have no idea.
To me it sounds like OP wants to finish it because she has depression and not ideal living arrangements.
To me it sounds like OP wants to finish it because she has depression and not ideal living arrangements.
"heteronormative", such a cringey word.
The vast majority of relationships are between a man and a woman, it's reasonable to assume that this one is. That doesn't mean I hate anyone who isn't straight or anything.
It may sound like that to you, but to me it seems like you're being oversensitive. I pointed out in my first post several reasons that the OP mentioned for wanting to break up, including "lack of chemistry". That alone is surely enough reason to end it with someone, especially one who you've only known for 2 months.
Original post by Tyrion_Lannister
I'm pointing out your argument is based on hypocrisy
He explained she had depression and made it out that that's one of the reasons he wants to split up with her. I have no idea if OP is male or female, don't be so heteronormative. OP could be a woman, agender, genderqueer, we honestly have no idea, so why you had to say JUST CUZ HEZ A MAN!!1! I have no idea.
To me it sounds like OP wants to finish it because she has depression and not ideal living arrangements.
He explained she had depression and made it out that that's one of the reasons he wants to split up with her. I have no idea if OP is male or female, don't be so heteronormative. OP could be a woman, agender, genderqueer, we honestly have no idea, so why you had to say JUST CUZ HEZ A MAN!!1! I have no idea.
To me it sounds like OP wants to finish it because she has depression and not ideal living arrangements.
Where in my original post did I say that I wanted to breakup because she has suffered with depression, I give a list of reasons which number says that?
I wanted to know the best way about it because I don't want her to be depressed again and its a really stressful time in her life besides? If she didn't have a history of depression I would have ended it already.
Original post by manchesterunited15
"heteronormative", such a cringey word.
The vast majority of relationships are between a man and a woman, it's reasonable to assume that this one is. That doesn't mean I hate anyone who isn't straight or anything.
It may sound like that to you, but to me it seems like you're being oversensitive. I pointed out in my first post several reasons that the OP mentioned for wanting to break up, including "lack of chemistry". That alone is surely enough reason to end it with someone, especially one who you've only known for 2 months.
The vast majority of relationships are between a man and a woman, it's reasonable to assume that this one is. That doesn't mean I hate anyone who isn't straight or anything.
It may sound like that to you, but to me it seems like you're being oversensitive. I pointed out in my first post several reasons that the OP mentioned for wanting to break up, including "lack of chemistry". That alone is surely enough reason to end it with someone, especially one who you've only known for 2 months.
No but to make it a male/female issue is silly
Then why include it in the title?
Original post by Tyrion_Lannister
It's your opinion and you backed it up with hypocrisy
does any of this make you less of a bitch?
Original post by chef
does any of this make you less of a bitch?
If you're trying to offend me, you're doing a really bad job. Your opinion is I'm a bitch. My opinion is OP is being unfair
Original post by james1211
I can't believe you actually asked for her contact details and he hasn't even broken up with her yet 
Original post by Tyrion_Lannister
No but to make it a male/female issue is silly
Then why include it in the title?
Then why include it in the title?
Because her depression would make the break up worse for her. OP was just thinking of her!
Original post by Bassetts
The dude sounded like a judgemental **** who couldn't deal with a depressed girl and I can relate to her feelings.
That doesn't really give you the right to ask stuff like that, i'd be pretty annoyed if i was the OP
Original post by manchesterunited15
Because her depression would make the break up worse for her. OP was just thinking of her!
Maybe, but when reading it, it just sounds as if he doesn't want to deal with her illness.
Original post by Tyrion_Lannister
Maybe, but when reading it, it just sounds as if he doesn't want to deal with her illness.
That's probably due to your bias from having a mental health issue of your own
Original post by Tyrion_Lannister
Do you know anyone with depression? I doubt it, because they do not constantly moan about their life
People with depression are normal people, and have personality and hobbies outside their condition
People with depression are normal people, and have personality and hobbies outside their condition
yeah one of my best friend's has depression, so does my auntie (who also has agoraphobia) but she's still a lovely person to be around... no they don't moan all the time.
however i also know someone who was in a relationship with someone who had depression and it was very stressful for the guy when she'd tell him she wanted to commit suicide etc, he has a heart condition which was made so much worse as he was constantly stressed about his gf
Original post by DorianGrayism
To the OP.....I don't understand how you first met her. Did you just message a random person across FB?
She was in my year in school, we wasn't social then. The people I was dating were people I'd met in the pub and they were all kinda shallow and just talked gossip, she was the cleverest girl in my year so I just wanted to try something different. The pictures on her facebook were all with people from uni, I didn't realise she was socially isolated and that it woulda been a big deal for me to get in touch.
If the relationship isn't working out then end it. Do it in the nicest possible way but don't carry on because you feel guilty or obliged to due to her depression. Make yourself happy.
As someone with depression i think breaking up with her would be in the wrong.
Theres probably no chemistry because you chose to date her on a whim.
When you're depressed you cling on to the slightest thing that even gives you a glimpse of the happiness you could have.
Shes entrusted to you all her problems because youre dating her and she feels like she can trust you.
You might think she's lazy, but shes not- depression effects everything, behaviours, personality etc.
If i was you id try and get her to see her GP and then say that everythings rushing too quickly and you will be there for her but on friendship terms.
That way she can rely on you and not be even more depressed about you dumping her.
Theres probably no chemistry because you chose to date her on a whim.
When you're depressed you cling on to the slightest thing that even gives you a glimpse of the happiness you could have.
Shes entrusted to you all her problems because youre dating her and she feels like she can trust you.
You might think she's lazy, but shes not- depression effects everything, behaviours, personality etc.
If i was you id try and get her to see her GP and then say that everythings rushing too quickly and you will be there for her but on friendship terms.
That way she can rely on you and not be even more depressed about you dumping her.
Well the good news is you aren't some douchebag in denial of your mistakes, which is a start. Honestly, it seems quite clear you don't really want to be in this relationship and you're only remaining in it because you feel guilty and you're worried about the effects. My advice would be to break it off as gently as you possibly could but still try and be there for her where you can. Don't let it take over your life, just be a friend even if you don't really want to be; hopefully it'll lessen the effect to a point where eventually she won't need you anymore (I mean that in the nicest possible way) and you can both get on with your lives. This may or may not be helpful. Sorry, not got much experience but if I was her, this is how I'd like things to be.
PS- Don't let certain people make you feel bad. It doesn't sound like you're breaking up with her BECAUSE she's depressed or could become depressed. You're breaking up with her because a. you don't want to be in a relationship as is and b. her behaviour is making the relationship unhappy for you.
PS- Don't let certain people make you feel bad. It doesn't sound like you're breaking up with her BECAUSE she's depressed or could become depressed. You're breaking up with her because a. you don't want to be in a relationship as is and b. her behaviour is making the relationship unhappy for you.
Original post by Tyrion_Lannister
I'M being judgemental? Sorry, I'm not the one dumping someone because they have a history of depression
I have bipolar and am in a relationship don't tell me I know nothing about it
Anyone who judges someone else for having a condition like this does not deserve them!
I have bipolar and am in a relationship don't tell me I know nothing about it
Anyone who judges someone else for having a condition like this does not deserve them!Nonsense, so the OP should just go out with her so she doesn't get depressed? get a grip
Original post by Shazzarr
As someone with depression i think breaking up with her would be in the wrong.
Theres probably no chemistry because you chose to date her on a whim.
When you're depressed you cling on to the slightest thing that even gives you a glimpse of the happiness you could have.
Shes entrusted to you all her problems because youre dating her and she feels like she can trust you.
You might think she's lazy, but shes not- depression effects everything, behaviours, personality etc.
If i was you id try and get her to see her GP and then say that everythings rushing too quickly and you will be there for her but on friendship terms.
That way she can rely on you and not be even more depressed about you dumping her.
Theres probably no chemistry because you chose to date her on a whim.
When you're depressed you cling on to the slightest thing that even gives you a glimpse of the happiness you could have.
Shes entrusted to you all her problems because youre dating her and she feels like she can trust you.
You might think she's lazy, but shes not- depression effects everything, behaviours, personality etc.
If i was you id try and get her to see her GP and then say that everythings rushing too quickly and you will be there for her but on friendship terms.
That way she can rely on you and not be even more depressed about you dumping her.
As someone with depression I disagree with the whole it being wrong for him to dumo her- simply because it could harm him too being in such a relationship. Also him just staying with her because he feels bad isn't a very healthy or really loving relationship.
However I completely agree with everything else you said and I can definitely relate to how you described it.
Original post by Tyrion_Lannister
Making a decision about a person on the basis they have a condition is disgusting. Not everyone with something acts in the same way. Why do people find it so hard to believe people with these conditions are humans just like everyone else?
OP isn't just deciding to break up with her because she has depression. He/she's unhappy in the relationship because of how his/her girlfriend acts plus doesn't really want a relationship anyway. He/she isn't sure whether to break up with her because he/she's scared she'll spiral deeper into depression. But OP shouldn't be stuck in an unhappy relationship.
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