Slept with my friend's boyfriend

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Reply 20

lucaf

Yeah thats pretty awful of you

Reply 21

DeadGirlsDance

You sound like a great friend!!!

Reply 22

bittr n swt

Looks like she wasn't a great friend to you if you don't feel bad.

Regardless shame on you.

Reply 23

kigundersengen

I think you should work with yourself.. We do the things we do for a lot of reasons and we have to take the consequences. I have no idea how your life has been or how it is now. If you have felt pain in your childhood, if you have some scars on your soul, if you're simply bored or whatever. But you should really consider getting to know yourself, if you don't know why you do the things you do or feel sorry about them, even when they hurt people close to you..

Reply 24

Camerxn

Forget about your friend. I doubt she would trust you again

Reply 25

explosion103

Honestly, it sounds like you don't feel as bad as probably should because you've put the blame mostly (if not solely) on the dude.
You say he is the ONE who ruined the relationship, but YOU knew your friend was already with this boy.

Yes he is wrong too (more so than yourself) but you have to take a significant portion of the blame too. He didn't force you to have sex afterall.
You need to recognise that you have done wrong. To put it slightly in your words, he chose to ruin the relationship but you chose to ruin your friendship.

Until then, there's really no point in asking her forgiveness anyway because she blames you but you don't see the problem.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 26

Maths and cheesecake

Original post by Anonymous

One of my close friends has a boyfriend, he's really hot. A few of us went out a few nights ago, she had to go home but the rest of us, including her boyfriend, went back to someone else's to sleep. We were drunk and once the others were asleep, he came onto me and I couldn't help myself :frown:

he's really attractive and knows it so I couldn't resist - we had sex.

She has now found out, and says she never wants to see me again. And she is the sort of person who doesn't forgive easily. They're also breaking up.

What can I do? I can't think straight tbh.
Also, is it bad that I don't feel that bad for sleeping with him? Maybe it's just cause he came onto me and not the other way around? I know I'm a bad friend but I don't feel awful like I should.

Well the fact that you don't feel bad about it makes you a bad friend, she did good getting rid of you. But I understand how hard it is to resist an attractive person, been there myself, although I didn't sleep with her.

Reply 27

Eboracum

Original post by Anonymous

Yeah, I think it might be cause of that, means I don't feel responsible for the sex? :s-smilie:

He's the one who chose to ruin his relationship, not me.

Fair enough. It's just one of them. Could you not argue though that it takes two to tango? You happily went along with it due to his hotness?

Reply 28

Clip

Worse things happen at sea.

Reply 29

Anonymous #1

You all seem pretty negative, no one thinks there's anything I can do to salvage the friendship?

Original post by Eboracum

Fair enough. It's just one of them. Could you not argue though that it takes two to tango? You happily went along with it due to his hotness?

yes of course it's my fault for not saying no. I'm just saying maybe that's why on a subconscious level I don't feel that guilty?
Or maybe I'm just naughty and like the thought of stealing someone close to me's boyfriend.

Reply 30

lazershus

i'm more intrigued as to why you don't feel bad. you're defo not the kind of friend i would want, and i don't think your ex-friend would want to keep you as a friend either so honestly forget about her, another thing i'm curious about, how have your other friends reacted to this, are they on a pick-a-side mission or?

Reply 31

Anonymous #2

I just find it absolutely ridiculous that you think you're not to blame as much as the boyfriend because you wasn't the one in the gf/bf relationship. You had a relationship with your friend. Real friends are meant to be loyal, honest and kind to each other. I could never do this to anyone, especially someone I would call even a new friend. You should have told him to shove off and told your friend what happened.

It takes two people to act in this way. You AND the boyfriend had her trust and you BOTH broke it.

If I were the girlfriend I would be blaming you both equally.

Reply 32

Plantagenet Crown

Lol, don't try and exonerate yourself by trying to shift the blame on him. You could have easily refused his sexual advances.

Reply 33

Sylvette

If you don't feel guilty that probably means you subconsciously don't really value your friend. Morally you know you should because that's what's thought to you as morally right. You not feeling guilty is a sign that means your friendship doesn't mean as much to you as you thought.

If you really want to rekindle your friendship, you're going to have to go your way and more to do so. Even then it would be hard to forgive. Try to contain your lust next time, and remember: if you really valued your friendship you should never have sex with other people's S.O, no matter how much you want to. That's a respect to each other and your relationship. Good luck

Reply 34

joker12345

Original post by queen-bee

It takes two to tango

You seem to be ignoring me. She was wrong to participate. The relationship was ruined single handedly by the bf when he made a move on her.
She's a bad friend obviously, but he ruined the relationship.

Reply 35

the bear

tbh the relationship cannot have been terribly strong to be destroyed by a single indiscretion.

Reply 36

Anonymous #1

Original post by lazershus

I kind of think I wanted to steal a friend's boyfriend, don't know why though...

My friends don't want to pick sides but they know I'm in the wrong.

Original post by Plantagenet Crown

Lol, don't try and exonerate yourself by trying to shift the blame on him. You could have easily refused his sexual advances.

I know that.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 37

jc20

Well your friend clearly deserves better than you both. Glad she's getting rid of him AND you!!

Reply 38

lazershus

Original post by Anonymous

I kind of think I wanted to steal a friend's boyfriend, don't know why though...

My friends don't want to pick sides but they know I'm in the wrong.

Okay clearly you're aware that you apparently not caring is weird but the question you should ask yourself is if you would ever do this again if the situation happened. If the answer is yes then honestly leave your friend alone and stay out of her way if she's asked you to. If the answer is no then that means you're at least a little remorseful and you should really apologise genuinely and hope she hasn't written you of entirely. But honestly it sound like you've got a couple things to sort out with yourself.

Reply 39

JESSHOLMES

It probably hasn't sunk in what you've done yet. Once it has, maybe you will feel as bad as you think you should. You're friend is better off without this guy if he capable of sleeping with his girlfriend's friend.

People make mistakes. You've damaged your relationship with your friend and she shouldn't forgive you. But doing a bad thing doesn't always make you a bad person. I think for everyone's sakes you should keep out of their way.

best of luck