Share Your Worries About Going To Uni!

Reply 20

username1504459

17

So worried about not making friends and I'm wondering if staying at home was such a good idea :erm:

Reply 21

SlowlorisIncognito

OP

16

Original post by jedanselemyia

So worried about not making friends and I'm wondering if staying at home was such a good idea :erm:

It is really, really rare for people to go through uni, and not make a single friend. Honestly, you are so much more likely to make friends than not make friends.

If you're staying at home, you might have to make a bit more of an effort to make friends at first though. Be proactive- ask people to have a coffee or lunch together. Ask people what they're doing that evening, or to invite you on nights out. This might feel super pushy, but a lot of people will appreciate you taking the initiative as it makes things easier for them.

I lived at home in my second and third year of uni, and had a pretty active social life. Living at home really isn't a barrier unless you live over an hour away or somewhere very inaccessible.

Reply 22

username1504459

17

Original post by SlowlorisIncognito

It is really, really rare for people to go through uni, and not make a single friend. Honestly, you are so much more likely to make friends than not make friends.

If you're staying at home, you might have to make a bit more of an effort to make friends at first though. Be proactive- ask people to have a coffee or lunch together. Ask people what they're doing that evening, or to invite you on nights out. This might feel super pushy, but a lot of people will appreciate you taking the initiative as it makes things easier for them.

I lived at home in my second and third year of uni, and had a pretty active social life. Living at home really isn't a barrier unless you live over an hour away or somewhere very inaccessible.

Thank you for the tip! :smile:

Reply 23

Emily Georgina

1

I read somewhere earlier that the loan and grant from Student Finance England probably won't come through until a few days after starting university.
Is this true?
If it is true, why does Student Finance not inform people of this when applying?
Thank you for any help you can provide. :smile:

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 24

dipka

14

Have you spoken to anyone about DSA (Disabled Students Allowance) yet? If not, this is something you should investigate ASAP, as this will help with adaptations you need to access uni, and help with living independently.

I would also contact student support services or disability at the uni you're going to ASAP. They will be worried about this situation too, and they will want to help you make it work.

SFE are a nightmare, and all you can do is keep trying to contact them. The uni you're going to may be able to help with this too if they are being really unco-operative.

It sounds like you are trying to organise everything by yourself, but you don't need to do this. There is a lot of help out there for disabled students, and unis want to be accessible to everyone. Hopefully, once you make contact with the right person at your uni, everything will go much more smoothly.

Yes. I have applied for DSA, had the assessment, got recommendations and SF have approved them. I have a meering with the disability advisor at my uni next week for them to help me arrange it all.
But you are actually wrong, DSA is only for any help you need related to your course, and only anything compulsory for the course. I did ask at the DSA assessment if they could help with living independent and they said no. Because DSA is for the extra costs I have as a disabled student, so because of the course. Anything to do eith living I would have to do as a student but also any other time. The fact that if I wasnot a student I would still live with my mum and she would help is irre.ivent. it is still SS who need to give any living independent help. The disabilty support at the uni is not much help either, because my uni is a different area to where live, so they know nothing of my SS. I have been asking someone from a loca, support service to contact SS for me for about 6 weeks, they have been about every week and say I am now in the que to get allocated a SW who will then reassess me for support. I dont think it will happen before september but I do not know anything else I can do. The person at the uni has been very helpful for a while answering emails most weeks, but there is a limit on what they can do.

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Reply 25

lois97

4

Hi, I'm super concerned with just the idea of being self sufficient, I mean I can take care of myself but I can't cook, I can barely iron and I'm well aware this is basic stuff so It makes me even more worried about if I'm ready for university. on the other hand I don't want to let fear ruin a great opportunity but at the same time I don't want to be ridiculously out of my depth by going so unprepared. I've still yet to get a first job! (still working on that) I'm hoping that one of my flat mates would help me cook but I don't want to depend on that...

another concern is that I'm used to routine, I've stayed at my secondary school for sixth form so I've been taught at the same place for 7 years and I've lived in the same house all my life so moving to the opposite side of England (I live in Kent and I'm hopefully going to Sheffield) is majorly daunting.

I know these are quite small issues to be concerned with, I'm just hoping other people are in my boat so I don't feel so inadequate, I'm also wondering about dorm management, for example is there someone around who oversees dorms that can possibly help you with these kinds of basic living issues? Also if anyone has any need to know tips on preparing to leave for uni it would massively help :smile:

Reply 26

claireestelle

22

Original post by lois97

Hi, I'm super concerned with just the idea of being self sufficient, I mean I can take care of myself but I can't cook, I can barely iron and I'm well aware this is basic stuff so It makes me even more worried about if I'm ready for university. on the other hand I don't want to let fear ruin a great opportunity but at the same time I don't want to be ridiculously out of my depth by going so unprepared. I've still yet to get a first job! (still working on that) I'm hoping that one of my flat mates would help me cook but I don't want to depend on that...

another concern is that I'm used to routine, I've stayed at my secondary school for sixth form so I've been taught at the same place for 7 years and I've lived in the same house all my life so moving to the opposite side of England (I live in Kent and I'm hopefully going to Sheffield) is majorly daunting.

I know these are quite small issues to be concerned with, I'm just hoping other people are in my boat so I don't feel so inadequate, I'm also wondering about dorm management, for example is there someone around who oversees dorms that can possibly help you with these kinds of basic living issues? Also if anyone has any need to know tips on preparing to leave for uni it would massively help :smile:

I d say learn to make some basic meals now whilst your still at home. Start with oven based meals and work up from there.As long as you can use an oven and put a frozen meal in that will be a start and you can teach yourself from theere :smile:

I ve used an iron once and i moved out almost two years ago, if you put things in the washer/dryer well then you should be able to avoid iron pretty easily so dont worry too much about that :smile:

generally, no one oversees accommodation, some do have 24hour security you can can if you have a problem, parties too loud or something like that. Your personal tutor or student support might have someone you can speak to if you re worried.

Reply 27

CMcG95

6

Gap year student here with a place at Queen Mary for Law. I suppose my worry would have to be Freshers Week as well. I know that it has been addressed that it isn't just about clubbing and drinking, clubbing isn't my thing and drinking only in small amounts, but it is hard to get that out of your head. The news and other Uni students focus on it a lot.

That and the fact that I've been living out in Italy for since I was 11 and my family is staying here. So that distance will be a little odd for the first few months. I'm not one of those students who just can't wait to get away from their family.

Reply 28

Kathiye

13

Original post by lois97

Hi, I'm super concerned with just the idea of being self sufficient, I mean I can take care of myself but I can't cook, I can barely iron and I'm well aware this is basic stuff so It makes me even more worried about if I'm ready for university. on the other hand I don't want to let fear ruin a great opportunity but at the same time I don't want to be ridiculously out of my depth by going so unprepared. I've still yet to get a first job! (still working on that) I'm hoping that one of my flat mates would help me cook but I don't want to depend on that...

another concern is that I'm used to routine, I've stayed at my secondary school for sixth form so I've been taught at the same place for 7 years and I've lived in the same house all my life so moving to the opposite side of England (I live in Kent and I'm hopefully going to Sheffield) is majorly daunting.

I know these are quite small issues to be concerned with, I'm just hoping other people are in my boat so I don't feel so inadequate, I'm also wondering about dorm management, for example is there someone around who oversees dorms that can possibly help you with these kinds of basic living issues? Also if anyone has any need to know tips on preparing to leave for uni it would massively help :smile:

You'll probably find that many people are in a similar situation! Basic cooking to eat is a lot easier than it sounds. While you obviously don't want to be eating like this all year, starting off with easy stuff frozen ready meals/beans on toast/pizza/salads/sandwiches/tinned soup isn't too bad. :tongue:

I swear that half of the meals I ate in the first half of the year were just hummus with carrot sticks and toasted pitta bread. Also, washing is really easy - there's barely anything more to it than put clothes and detergent in the washing machine and turn it on. No one I know separated colours (mainly because we're too cheap to pay for two washes!) or ironed all year. Ask someone before you go! Also, flatmates can be pretty helpful for all of this.

I understand what you mean about routine - I was really scared about it before I went, especially the idea of moving to a new place after never having left my home for more than a couple of weeks before. However, when I actually got there I honestly didn't notice at all, I was too caught up in doing other things! I didn't actually end up going home at all until Christmas, despite being so worried before. At my university we had a college advisor who we could talk to about problems in your accommodation and stuff like that, but they aren't really for specific things like how to do your washing. You're best off asking friends/family on the phone/the internet for that! Perhaps you could ask your parents if you could do some of the cooking for the rest of the holidays to get some practice in for uni?

Reply 29

Florality

9

Original post by Emily Georgina

I read somewhere earlier that the loan and grant from Student Finance England probably won't come through until a few days after starting university.
Is this true?
If it is true, why does Student Finance not inform people of this when applying?
Thank you for any help you can provide. :smile:

Posted from TSR Mobile

It's true because they need to make sure you're actually at university, so they give it to you after you enrol (normally in the first few days). So that's why your university tells you (or should tell you) to bring enough money for a few days/the first week before you recieve your loan/grant. I have no idea why they don't inform people on the application.

Reply 30

Emily Georgina

1

Original post by Florality

It's true because they need to make sure you're actually at university, so they give it to you after you enrol (normally in the first few days). So that's why your university tells you (or should tell you) to bring enough money for a few days/the first week before you recieve your loan/grant. I have no idea why they don't inform people on the application.

Thank you for your reply - so much more helpful than the reply I received from Student Finance earlier! :smile:

I definitely think Student Finance should make people aware of this before September, as it could be difficult for some people to save enough money (say £200 or so for Fresher's Week)!

Reply 31

thunderstxrms

10

-- Terrified I'll run out of money, and with having over 50 hours of work to do a week I feel I'll end up too tired/not enough time to work term-time, and then comes the worry that I won't be able to find a seasonal temp job.

-- Terrified I won't make friends. I was bullied the whole way through school so I never really had friends, and now I'm scared the same thing will happen at uni.

Reply 32

Florality

9

Original post by thunderstxrms

-- Terrified I'll run out of money, and with having over 50 hours of work to do a week I feel I'll end up too tired/not enough time to work term-time, and then comes the worry that I won't be able to find a seasonal temp job.

-- Terrified I won't make friends. I was bullied the whole way through school so I never really had friends, and now I'm scared the same thing will happen at uni.

Do you mean 50 hours of work for university? You don't need to do that much, lots of people seem to go to an extreme with what you should do. But you could definitely find a happy medium in between doing the bare minimum and the extreme. Also if you budget for a week (food shopping etc) you should be fine. I know people who budgeted for a week and took that amount of money out of their bank account. Then they left their debit card in their room so they weren't tempted to use it unnecessarily.

Reply 33

MedievalWitch

11

Original post by SlowlorisIncognito

You shouldn't assume you know all about freshers :tongue:

Yes, people do go clubbing and drinking, but most people also go to daytime social activities, and you'll usually have a daytime event to meet your coursemates. Your flat mates will be around all the time- so maybe suggest doing something you'll enjoy together- like getting a takeaway or watching a film?

Also don't assume you'll meet and make your best friends on freshers! Most people don't have a solid friend group straight away, and make new friends throughout their uni experience.

Have you thought about joining a society or sports team where there would be a lot of non-drinking events?

The uni im looking at going to is quite small and only has a few societies when i looked on their student union website :/ Im hoping because a lot of past students have said its a tight nit community because it is so small ill hopefully meet friends and wont be too homesick or lonely. :')

Reply 34

Rixion

9

Scared I'll not make friends or have problems with flatmates :frown:

Reply 35

SlowlorisIncognito

OP

16

Original post by thunderstxrms

-- Terrified I'll run out of money, and with having over 50 hours of work to do a week I feel I'll end up too tired/not enough time to work term-time, and then comes the worry that I won't be able to find a seasonal temp job.

-- Terrified I won't make friends. I was bullied the whole way through school so I never really had friends, and now I'm scared the same thing will happen at uni.

I would say that bullying really doesn't happen in the same way at uni as it does in school. People are more mature, and in general it's much much easier to avoid people you don't like- you're not forced to be around them in quite the same way you are at school. Also, if you find yourself having a severe personality clash in halls, or in a smaller group, you can usually ask to be moved.

You honestly won't have 50 hours of uni work to do each week, especially in first year. In general, most people manage to work 10-20 hours a week in term time if they are on a less intensive course, and the holidays are long enough that you should have time to recharge. As a starting point it's a good idea to approach somewhere like the SU to ask about work, as often they'll be more flexible than other student employers.

Original post by MedievalWitch

The uni im looking at going to is quite small and only has a few societies when i looked on their student union website :/ Im hoping because a lot of past students have said its a tight nit community because it is so small ill hopefully meet friends and wont be too homesick or lonely. :' :wink:

If past students have had good experiences, then chances are, you will too :h:

If it's a very small uni, sometimes the SU will be affiliated with another nearby uni's SU in order to offer more societies.

Original post by Rixion

Scared I'll not make friends or have problems with flatmates :frown:

You will make friends- it's almost harder to not make friends at uni than to make friends. Everyone is looking to meet new people and form a new social group, so often all you have to do is put in a tiny bit of effort to make friends. Obviously, the more you put in, the more you get out, so be proactive- ask people what their plans are, suggest things to do, even simple things like swapping numbers or adding someone on facebook.

If you do have problems with your flatmates, often you can arrange to move flats later in the year. However, most people do want to get on with your flat mates, so as long as you are reasonably considerate and polite, you shouldn't have too many problems.

Reply 36

kunoichi

20

Original post by pineneedles

Still have my A2 exams to go, but I'm mostly worried about managing my IBS at university. I don't know whether there'll be as much support there as at my sixth form.

I would say universities can be even more supportive than schools or colleges, but you have to go and find the help, not wait for them to realise something is wrong. You will probably be given a tutor and when you see them have a word and ask them to point you in the direction of any resources.

Reply 37

kunoichi

20

Original post by thunderstxrms

-- Terrified I'll run out of money, and with having over 50 hours of work to do a week I feel I'll end up too tired/not enough time to work term-time, and then comes the worry that I won't be able to find a seasonal temp job.

-- Terrified I won't make friends. I was bullied the whole way through school so I never really had friends, and now I'm scared the same thing will happen at uni.

Ok I dont know what course you are on but 50 hours per week (especially first year) is a bit over the top.

Apply for a normal job as you get a large amount of holiday. My exams finished early may and I dont go back until late september, so I could have got a normal job tbh.

or

My uni has a system where you can register as a test subject for psychology courses etc. It pays really good money and you pick what you want to do so see if your uni has the same thing. You can also get paid to be a student ambassador on open days

As for making friends, join some societies, be really smiley and nice to your flatmates/coursemates and you should be fine.

Reply 38

kunoichi

20

Original post by Emily Georgina

I read somewhere earlier that the loan and grant from Student Finance England probably won't come through until a few days after starting university.
Is this true?
If it is true, why does Student Finance not inform people of this when applying?
Thank you for any help you can provide. :smile:

Posted from TSR Mobile

It is true.

Also i'm pretty sure it mentions somewhere that it wont be provided until your attendance is confirmed by the uni - which means uni has to have already started.

Reply 39

thunderstxrms

10

Original post by kunoichi

Ok I dont know what course you are on but 50 hours per week (especially first year) is a bit over the top.

Apply for a normal job as you get a large amount of holiday. My exams finished early may and I dont go back until late september, so I could have got a normal job tbh.

or

My uni has a system where you can register as a test subject for psychology courses etc. It pays really good money and you pick what you want to do so see if your uni has the same thing. You can also get paid to be a student ambassador on open days

As for making friends, join some societies, be really smiley and nice to your flatmates/coursemates and you should be fine.

That's the contact hours in a week added to the minimum number of hours they recommend you study outside of lectures. It's pretty much what my friends who are doing the same course do.

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