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    So I'm asexual, and I want to tell my family but I'm kinda scared. Mostly that they wont understand. My mum quite often, when I was in my previous relationship (I'm heteroromantic) would be like "find yourself a nice 19 year old and you'll be sorted." I don't quite know what she means (I'm 17), and I'm worried what they'll think, especially my sister who already thinks I'm weird because I don't drink. Is there any other asexual people that can help? Or just anyone who's had to come out really. I've told one friend, but they live in america, and are my best friend as well as being demisexual.
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    So you aren't attracted to anyone? (Sorry, I am not judging, just confused)

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    (Original post by phoenixsilver)
    So you aren't attracted to anyone? (Sorry, I am not judging, just confused)

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    Sexually, no. But romantically im attracted to males. So while i don't want to have a sexual relationship, i'd very happily be in a romantic one. And it's fine, it's not a very well known about sexuality
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    hey, don't worry you're not alone, there are plenty of asexuals.. although I am not asexual my self , I did just come out recently (and I don't drink much either :P) It totally depends on you and what you want to do? You seem pretty clear in what you feel about yourself and It can be pretty hard keeping that to yourself. Only tell them when you want to and how you want to. I thought that my mum and dad wouldn't really understand me when I came out, however just remember that their initial reaction isn't always how things end up. As initially my parents didn't believe me or just felt really awkward about it, anyway that slowly wore off and my mum even said to me the other day how she hopes that I find a nice girlfriend and she was originally the same as you, saying how I need to find a nice older guy. So although it can be daunting you never know there could be benefits of telling them and if you want to you should tell your parents you can help to educate them and understand Also if you're feeling alone maybe connect on things like tumblr or look up another LGBTQ society or even an asexual one
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    (Original post by CaliGirl67)
    hey, don't worry you're not alone, there are plenty of asexuals.. although I am not asexual my self , I did just come out recently (and I don't drink much either :P) It totally depends on you and what you want to do? You seem pretty clear in what you feel about yourself and It can be pretty hard keeping that to yourself. Only tell them when you want to and how you want to. I thought that my mum and dad wouldn't really understand me when I came out, however just remember that their initial reaction isn't always how things end up. As initially my parents didn't believe me or just felt really awkward about it, anyway that slowly wore off and my mum even said to me the other day how she hopes that I find a nice girlfriend and she was originally the same as you, saying how I need to find a nice older guy. So although it can be daunting you never know there could be benefits of telling them and if you want to you should tell your parents you can help to educate them and understand Also if you're feeling alone maybe connect on things like tumblr or look up another LGBTQ society or even an asexual one
    Thank you, that's really helpful I follow a lot of asexual blogs on tumblr, but none of them really talk about coming out. I'm glad your parents are happy for you

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    Ahh really, I'm surprised that tumblr doesn't have any coming out? have you checked youtube? I seem to remember seeing a number of asexuals coming out on there and err if you're in the UK you could contact the https://lgbt.foundation/ I found that really helpful as they just listened to me and gave me the confidence really to do it, you can ring them on your mobile and maybe see what they have to say? haha this isn't sponsored I promise :P
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    It isn't such a worry as coming out as homosexual or bisexual.

    People will simply think you have yet to find the right person, they won't find your very nature repulsive and hateful.

    It's just a study in FYI; you are informing them so they can adjust their expectations, it should make no odds to you what anyone thinks.
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    Bi asexual here: in my personal experience the easiest way to drop it into casual conversation (i avoided the "coming out" moment and simply mention as conversation requires) is, generally, to avoid using the word asexual and to simply say that you dont find anyone sexually attractive.

    In my own experience "i dont like sex" whilst being pretty simplistic about the whole thing, is the most effective way to do it. Obviously, you should tell people what you feel comfortable sharing.
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    no offense, but does your mum really need to know whether you have sex or not? I mean, I'd rather my parents know as little about my sex life as possible


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    I'm a lesbian and I didn't come out until sixth form (as I saw no reason to, it's my business no one elses), I'm about to turn 18 and I came out September last year (I was still 16).
    Maybe, to make it easier for those around you to understand, don't make a huge deal out of it? Like, one day just casually be like, "mum, dad, I'm asexual" and then explain what that means in the simplest way. It is and isn't a big deal at the time, like yes it's apart of you and they should accept it, but it's just one factor that contributes to what makes you, you.
    If they don't react how you want them to, leave them with the news for a few days. My dad is homophobic and I've been with my girlfriend for a year now (I came out to everyone the day after my girlfriend asked me out), and only this recent couple of months is he starting to full accept me for who I am.
    It may take time, but it'll be worth it and trust me you'll feel scared and nervous but also so relieved once it's out in the open. If they ask you questions about it, that's a good sign as it means they're trying to understand it. So, come out when you're ready to, there really isn't any rush, don't do it for anyone other than yourself
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Bi asexual here: in my personal experience the easiest way to drop it into casual conversation (i avoided the "coming out" moment and simply mention as conversation requires) is, generally, to avoid using the word asexual and to simply say that you dont find anyone sexually attractive.

    In my own experience "i dont like sex" whilst being pretty simplistic about the whole thing, is the most effective way to do it. Obviously, you should tell people what you feel comfortable sharing.
    Thank you. Did you have to explain what you meant when you told them?

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    (Original post by badreviser1998)
    I'm a lesbian and I didn't come out until sixth form (as I saw no reason to, it's my business no one elses), I'm about to turn 18 and I came out September last year (I was still 16).
    Maybe, to make it easier for those around you to understand, don't make a huge deal out of it? Like, one day just casually be like, "mum, dad, I'm asexual" and then explain what that means in the simplest way. It is and isn't a big deal at the time, like yes it's apart of you and they should accept it, but it's just one factor that contributes to what makes you, you.
    If they don't react how you want them to, leave them with the news for a few days. My dad is homophobic and I've been with my girlfriend for a year now (I came out to everyone the day after my girlfriend asked me out), and only this recent couple of months is he starting to full accept me for who I am.
    It may take time, but it'll be worth it and trust me you'll feel scared and nervous but also so relieved once it's out in the open. If they ask you questions about it, that's a good sign as it means they're trying to understand it. So, come out when you're ready to, there really isn't any rush, don't do it for anyone other than yourself
    Thank you I'd rather they know before I go to uni cause when my sister went my mum kept saying "we know what's going on, we're not stupid" (my sister had gone out with the same person since fifth/sixth year) I just don't know what to say

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    I don't see why you would need to tell her. Especially considering you are still heteromantic. I know this sounds awful, but take it from a bisexual, that you may just want to wait another 5 or so years before you make a grand "coming out". Dealing with your queer sexuality will cause you quite a lot of confusion even if it is sincere and not just imagined/psychologically instated. There's no need either to come out so young as if you were homosexual. Just take your time I would say.
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    I've known people in pretty much the same position - they found http://www.asexuality.org helpful
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    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    I don't see why you would need to tell her. Especially considering you are still heteromantic. I know this sounds awful, but take it from a bisexual, that you may just want to wait another 5 or so years before you make a grand "coming out". Dealing with your queer sexuality will cause you quite a lot of confusion even if it is sincere and not just imagined/psychologically instated. There's no need either to come out so young as if you were homosexual. Just take your time I would say.
    Trust me, it's not imagined. And thank you, but you'll probably understand when I say I feel like I'm hiding something

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    (Original post by earthboy)
    I've known people in pretty much the same position - they found http://www.asexuality.org helpful
    Thank you ☺

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    (Original post by Pheonixfeather3)
    Trust me, it's not imagined. And thank you, but you'll probably understand when I say I feel like I'm hiding something

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    Something not being innate doesn't mean it isn't sincere. My point was that sexuality is fluid and you may change. If you do, coming out now will create a whole lot of awkwardness for little reason imo.
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    All these "something"sexual labels are hurting my head. Im out, this is too much for me.
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    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    Something not being innate doesn't mean it isn't sincere. My point was that sexuality is fluid and you may change. If you do, coming out now will create a whole lot of awkwardness for little reason imo.
    Oh okay, sorry, I misunderstood you
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    (Original post by Pheonixfeather3)
    Oh okay, sorry, I misunderstood you
    Sorry, I worded it poorly the first time
 
 
 
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