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Boyfriends cheated

More of a rant than anything so I apologise in advance for the length. I'll try and simplify.

I'm currently in a relationship that's been long distance for the last 7 months. So woke up this morning to a boyfriend who had either deactivated his Facebook account or blocked me. Obviously text very annoyed and had no reply. Returned from uni at 1, checked Facebook on laptop and saw a couple of messages in "Others" folder. A girl messaging to tell me my boyfriend is a lying cheating c**t. Pictures of his Plenty of Fish Profile and said she could send me all messages.

So she did. All 60 screenshots. From an 8 day period. All during which I was getting 5 messages a day if I was lucky telling me he was too busy and too stressed to have the time to speak to me and help me with my problems. Had proof it came from his mobile number. Tried several times to get a hold of him through text, acting as though I knew nothing. Finally got a reply at 10pm, after his mum text him and told him we all knew, still completely denying everything.

He has a car which I got in MY name he was meeting up with this girl in. Talking about watching the Netflix I pay for together. As well as talking about how he really likes her and would like to be dating her, she's so cute, etc. Guessed his usual password and got onto his profile on the website where there were another 11 girls messaged and his mobile number given.

He's now almost stopped trying to lie about it. But when I've told him I want to save our 2.5 year relationship if he's able to fight for it and I can potentially forgive at some point, all I get is a pity party of "what I did was disgusting, I have no moral compass, you deserve better".

Of course, 2 weeks ago when he was home to visit I saw him on a strange app which he was so quick to hide and bit my head of and told me it was a group chat when I asked what he was up to (generally being curious - worth noting he sits and reads my phone over my shoulder). And swore point blank I was basically psychotic and imagining things when I thought there was someone else on the go.

And if course his mum is full of "I understand your angry, but he text me and said he's so sorry and he really loves you". Of course, when I tell her my opinion of the OBVIOUS flaws in that statement, all I got was her telling me she's not falling out with me. She can do what she fu***ng likes, I'm no satisfied, we Will be finished.

Very VERY condensed version. Probably missed loads of big points. Just had to let some of it out

Reply 1

Zargabaath

Sounds like a ****, don't take him back. Send the screenshots to his mum if you're feeling particularly devilish :colone:

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Aw his two sisters have seen every single one, and, trust me, I've not held back in describing EXACTLY what was going on.

Reply 3

The Good Doctor

Why are you still in this relationship? The guy is clearly a scumbag. You are almost as bad a person as him for being stupid enough to still stay with him.

Reply 4

math42

"what I did was disgusting, I have no moral compass, you deserve better" Yeah, he summed it up for you pretty well.

Reply 5

The Good Doctor

Also, accepting his weedling apologies makes you a complete sucker. He will continue to do this, mark my words.

Reply 6

JC.

If you forgive that kind of behaviour you've no respect for yourself.
Go get your car back and move on with your life.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Original post by The Good Doctor

I'm sorry, at which point did I say I was accepting his "weedling apologies". I stated a fact, that Acer 2.5 years together, walking away isn't exactly easy. But it's more than a possibility right now.

And where exactly do you get off in comparing my reaction of PROCESSING what has happened and thinking about what I want to do with my life, to someone making the decision to cheat. As for being stupid - well, if you make massively life changes decisions with a couple of hours, I think you would be winning that one.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Original post by JC.

If you forgive that kind of behaviour you've no respect for yourself.
Go get your car back and move on with your life.

I didn't say I would forgive him. I said I'm considering whether we can try and save the relationship. Personally, I don't believe that requires "forgive and/or forget". Certainly I'll never forget. And forgiveness may come in time but if he can gift for it, I have proof it's not happening again, and he ps his time and effort into making this relationship better, I MAY consider it. Personal opinion though.

Reply 9

Anonymous #2

Yeah........ Erm not to be rude, but you need to kick his arse, dump him and get the hell out of this relationship.

Dump him obv

Original post by Anonymous

Ah ok, fair enough. I assumed you had because you said "I'm currently in a relationship with...". Apologies for the hardness of my reply as this is what I had thought.

However, there are some things that should just be completely obvious. Multiple instances with clear intent to cheat. That should be right then and there - done! Not "more than a possibility." No one, I repeat: No one, with any self respect would take this guy back. I have been in a similar situation to you, so I know this and I was cursing myself months down the line for having not ended it. Yes, that meant I was a complete idiot with no self-respect back then.

He will do it again, I promise you. He was only upset because he got caught. He wasn't upset while trying to get in all those girls' pants. I know his type.