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Indians, Pakistanis and Bengalis - would you marry one another? Watch

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    (Original post by pringles 4 days)
    would you agree that the two most taboo groups for indian parents are muslims and black people?


    i have found a liberal one tho so I'm lucky, but the majority of 'desi' parents be crazy :eek:
    yes this are the major taboo, though i have actually got two friends going out with black guys , not sure where the parents stand on it.
    the other concern your parent smay have have is the other family, becuase also though may seem moderate and modern thinking, this can change when it comes to wedding and building a family.
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    (Original post by burnt0range)
    I'm pakistani. I totally agree, I think a lot of brown parents chill out a lot as they grow up in the West and see the real world. Not completely chill but big difference! Like, I always assumed they'd want to do the typical arranged marriage for me and pakistani only, but now that my cousins and I are all marriage age, they allow us to date to find someone. They'd prefer desi but I could bring home a non-desi muslim guy and they'll work with it. So weird, I did NOT expect that a decade ago lol.
    Haha, my parents are the least chill you can ever get :lol:

    I just generally get the feeling that there'll be a point where they'll let me marry whoever I want because they'll cba with trying to arrange a marriage for me (too many matchings to make). Obviously that person will have to have some cultural similarities and be of the same religion :dontknow:

    At least with one excuse, they'll become more accepting :yep:
    (Original post by Indeterminate)
    "really academic" :five:

    Nice to hear that people are quite keen on academia as opposed to just getting a degree and doing random stuff for the rest of your life :lol:
    Hehe, aiming for that Nobel Prize :sexface:

    Nah, I just generally like the idea of staying in academia and doing some research or something :yep: I might go into secondary teaching at the very end of my career though

    I'll have quite a bit of valuable experience to teach with :moon:
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    (Original post by Chakede)
    yes this are the major taboo, though i have actually got two friends going out with black guys , not sure where the parents stand on it.
    the other concern your parent smay have have is the other family, becuase also though may seem moderate and modern thinking, this can change when it comes to wedding and building a family.
    re: weddings, is it an indian thing to want a massive wedding? like, how tf do you even know 100 family members close enough to invite to your wedding lmao? :/


    what do you mean by building a family? i know that if her parents took issue with anything she wouldn't let her parents control her, so they would have to accept it whether they liked it or not.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm a Bengali Muslim and I honestly don't care if I get married to anyone of any race. It's just that my parents are going to have a problem about it, especially them being 1st generation British Muslim.
    So much gossip around girls who marry non bengalis. My family strangely respects the girls though aha
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    Culturally we're all very similar, so I could probably convince my parents to let me if I really wanted to. I don't think that a lot of Asian girls in particular realise that there's a good reason why a lot of parents don't want their children marrying into a completely different culture. If you were to marry an Afghan, for example - you would most likely be expected to learn the language, cuisine, traditions etc. I've seen this happen to a lot of Desi girls - it's sad to see that they end up neglecting their own culture just to embrace their husband's. And, sorry to generalise, but I think it's true that in mixed race relationships (especially between Muslims) the husband expects the wife to embrace his country's traditions etc but it's very unlikely he'll do the same for her.
    With Indians and Bengalis though, I wouldn't really see this happening, since we have a lot of the same cuisines and traditions and our languages are similar.
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    Raj Patel checking in...
    • Political Ambassador
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    (Original post by enaayrah)


    Hehe, aiming for that Nobel Prize :sexface:

    Nah, I just generally like the idea of staying in academia and doing some research or something :yep: I might go into secondary teaching at the very end of my career though

    I'll have quite a bit of valuable experience to teach with :moon:
    Aha, same here

    As Asians we mustn't forget the degree of izzat that is bestowed upon someone who's done a PhD; there's nothing quite like it! :laugh:

    You'd most definitely have enough experience and knowledge to teach with :yep: At the same time you'd be brave to enter what is known to be quite a volatile profession Ah well, it's a great cause so I can understand why you'd want to
    • #7
    #7

    I'm a Sikh Male and my parent's aren't bothered about who I marry but under no circumstances can it be a Muslim, and to be fair I'm fine with that because not a chance would I convert to Islam.
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    (Original post by XxKingSniprxX)
    Raj Patel checking in...
    Rrrrraaaaaajjjj
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    It's bit strange how some people have mentioned religion being a barrier and reason for prejudice when India has one of the largest Muslim populations and they don't often marry Pakistanis either. (and of course there's Hindus and Sikhs in Pakistan too)
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    (Original post by Petulia)
    Culturally we're all very similar, so I could probably convince my parents to let me if I really wanted to. I don't think that a lot of Asian girls in particular realise that there's a good reason why a lot of parents don't want their children marrying into a completely different culture. If you were to marry an Afghan, for example - you would most likely be expected to learn the language, cuisine, traditions etc. I've seen this happen to a lot of Desi girls - it's sad to see that they end up neglecting their own culture just to embrace their husband's. And, sorry to generalise, but I think it's true that in mixed race relationships (especially between Muslims) the husband expects the wife to embrace his country's traditions etc but it's very unlikely he'll do the same for her.
    With Indians and Bengalis though, I wouldn't really see this happening, since we have a lot of the same cuisines and traditions and our languages are similar.
    Yep, totally get where you're coming from. Obviously Islamically there's nothing wrong with marrying those of different backgrounds but I wouldn't want to because of what the difficulties you've mentioned. Obviously some people just click and race or nationality is meaningless for them but I would worry about the differences just in case they pose any problems and misunderstandings in the future. Maybe I'll meet someone of a different background and realise I was over thinking it and it'll be fine but yh these are my thoughts atm
    • #8
    #8

    Well, to be honest, my parents would probably not be too picky providing that they are Muslim with a decent job and etc. I just wouldn't put myself in a position of marriage because I probably wouldn't be able to make most potential partners happy, because I'm not interested in having sex and children.
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    (Original post by Ravenous)
    Two women in my extended family married Hindu men (they've also had kids) and they didn't have to convert to Islam (then again, my mum's mum's family is very liberal)
    How did they do the nikkah? Didn't the imam know?
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    (Original post by TSRian123454321)
    I wouldn't mind, but my parents would probably hunt me and never let me see the light of day again if I did marry anyone of a different background.
    Spoiler:
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    The struggles of being a desi kid...
    Fam i get you. :zomg:
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    I'm Indian. My parents don't care what ethnicity my future partner would be. As long as he's Muslim. I'd prefer someone Asian
    • #9
    #9

    (Original post by Ravenous)
    Two women in my extended family married Hindu men (they've also had kids) and they didn't have to convert to Islam (then again, my mum's mum's family is very liberal)
    Haraam, the Nikkah is not valid.
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    (Original post by Gilezzz)
    I am an Indian who was born in South India(Kerala), i live in the Uk now but my parents will still not let me marry anyone else other than a girl with a similar background to me due to religions and cultural reasons.
    Ayyyy fellow south indian.
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    (Original post by tg0896)
    I think it's fair to say that these three backgrounds are fairly similar with subtle differences. These differences may be the language and religion.

    However, seeing as they all were one at one point in history, there are common traits that all these backgrounds have.

    Say if you were Indian, would you ever consider marrying a Pakistani or Bengali? (And vice versa).

    What would your family think?

    If your answer is no, why?

    I'm genuinely curious about this.
    Well I'm fully Indian but half Bengali so it doesn't matter to me tbh
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    Allow marriage
    • #5
    #5

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am a Pakistani but want to marry arabs .
    Sorry Pakistani/Indian/Bengali girls
    I have always wondered why Pakistanis have become obsessed with Arabs...

    ... is it since Zia Ul Haq became head of state? Or is Arab culture quite popular in Pakistan? I know a lot go to UAE etc.

    Just wondering what you like about Arabs in particular
 
 
 
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