Stuggling with Uni

I have been at University for three weeks now and it is not at all what I expected. I've cried most nights I've been here. I already feel behind with the work (I bodged up my A levels so now I'm worried that I'm not clever enough and I have no motivation to work because whatever I do will be crap). I speak to people, but I don't have any actual friends. The accommodation grosses me out. etc etc etc

I've always had trouble with my mental health and because I don't have my parents here to confide in I was proactive about it and went to see a GP, but I basically got fobbed off and told 'everyone goes through this.'

I've genuinely thought about dropping out but I know it's a bit early and I've only ever wanted to go to University... there is no Plan B.

Thoughts? :confused:

Reply 1

Rose M.

5

I would advise you to definitely speak to someone on campus about this. All universities have mental health advisers who are normally great... they are completely nonjudgmental and they have a lot of experience with new students who are struggling with various things. There should also be someone in your student dorms (normally a postgrad student who acts as a tutor) that lives close by and has an open door policy for this sort of thing... they are there to help you and they are happy to help... whether it's a chat, a cup of tea, ideas for how to make your time more enjoyable, how to manage your studies etc. They are a good resource to tap into because they have the time, willingness, and experience to help you.

Yes, university accommodation can be gross, especially if you are sharing bathroom facilities. However, they will be cleaned regularly and you can speak to the halls manager if there are any serious issues. Can I advise that you decorate your room as colorfully and cosy as possible... it will make the room seem a lot more pleasant and help to create a relaxed environment for you to come back to after a long and/or stressful day.

I aso struggled with some of my modules and I got stressed out regularly so I made a promise to myself to only study outside of my bedroom (in the library, in a cafe etc so that my room would remain a calm haven and I wouldn't feel guilty at the end of the day when I went to bed... "I'm in my room in bed, I can't study here, so I can fall asleep without guilt!"

It does take time to make friendships, especially close friendships. I have several acquaintances during my first term as an undergraduate but it wasn't until the 2nd semester that I made real friendships. It was tough but then once I found 'my people' everything changed and I became a lot happier and comfortable. I graduated form university in 2014 and I am still in touch and best friends with my friends from university - they're like my family.

Reply 2

citibankrec

18

Original post by georgiaTK

I have been at University for three weeks now and it is not at all what I expected. I've cried most nights I've been here. I already feel behind with the work (I bodged up my A levels so now I'm worried that I'm not clever enough and I have no motivation to work because whatever I do will be crap). I speak to people, but I don't have any actual friends. The accommodation grosses me out. etc etc etc

I've always had trouble with my mental health and because I don't have my parents here to confide in I was proactive about it and went to see a GP, but I basically got fobbed off and told 'everyone goes through this.'

I've genuinely thought about dropping out but I know it's a bit early and I've only ever wanted to go to University... there is no Plan B.

Thoughts? :confused:

what uni what A2 grades

Reply 3

999tigger

19

Original post by georgiaTK

I have been at University for three weeks now and it is not at all what I expected. I've cried most nights I've been here. I already feel behind with the work (I bodged up my A levels so now I'm worried that I'm not clever enough and I have no motivation to work because whatever I do will be crap). I speak to people, but I don't have any actual friends. The accommodation grosses me out. etc etc etc

I've always had trouble with my mental health and because I don't have my parents here to confide in I was proactive about it and went to see a GP, but I basically got fobbed off and told 'everyone goes through this.'

I've genuinely thought about dropping out but I know it's a bit early and I've only ever wanted to go to University... there is no Plan B.

Thoughts? :confused:

Plenty of students do go through this. Its a mix of
Not happy with course, not happy with accommodation, not making friends, lonely anxious etc.

1. You did a good thing by talking to GP
2. Go and talk to student welfare., if you have mental health issues then the diability support people are also an option.
3. Making friends is something you can tackle but it requires effort. Your sources are accommodation, coursemates and societies along with other peoples networks. You only need one and then you cna build on it.
4. Accommodation is soemthing you can change, but it cna be a pain.
5. Course is something you cna sometimes change.

Your other option is to talk to your tutor. they are sometimes helpful, but sometimes useless.

As for your course and being smart enough, then you have to be honest about your abilities. You will have doubts due to your A levels , but its common for people to be overwhelmed. Stick at it and it becomes easier as you start to learn the best methods of working.

If you wish to leave
Its probably too late to leave without incurring some costs Its normally 25% for the first term.

You get a gift year from SFE, so they will still finance you for a full course elsewhere.

Go home take a gap year and sort out your mental health.
Get a job and save money.
Resit your A levels, get better grades and get into a better Uni on the course you want or do an apprenticeship or just get a job.

I would always favour the gap year because your degree involved £45,000 worth of debt and id ratehr spend it on something I wanted.

Talk it though, stick it out for a bit longer and it could change. Most people adjust. Keep thinking whether it is what you wnat for the next three years though. You cna still resit legacu A levels (last chance) in 2017.

Stuggling with Uni

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