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Overthinking help please!!! Male opinion needed!! watch

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    Hi people
    Right males of this site (and women) I really need opinions on something that has been on my mind for months!

    I have recently joined the second year of college. In the first year I had a small group of friends (all different age ranges). There was this one guy that I kinda fancied but he was 11years older than me so I never perused it. Anyway, we flirted back and forth most of the time when we saw each other, and he always made me feel happy with who I was. We got on great.... Probably a little too good to be honest... And had really good banter!

    However, when it came to going into the second year, he decided he needed a job more than the course, and left. A few days before he left he pulled me aside and began seriously flirting... Even grabbed my ass a few times. Then for about a 2 months after college finished, we we in constant contact.

    This is the but I am confused on; he never wanted to meet up with me or our group of friends, texts became fewer and fewer, most of the time ignores me now and really only contacts when it's sexual. I know now that he was just using me for a bit of fun, in fine with that, Im not interested in a relationship. But (and I know this will sound weird) I need opinions on the subject from other people, people who are unbiased. I need to put this behind me. All opinions welcome!
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    I would seriously move on and forget about him. When I was 19 I was in a similar situation and looking back I see now that he was only interested in me for one reason. It sounds like you know this already, which is good. The fact that he didn't want to meet up and now only messages you when he's horny or fancies a flirt speaks volumes. I'm 28 now *sob* and have had sooo many guys do this exact thing to me. You sound less naive than I was, so go you!

    The grabbing your ass bit sounds kinda sleazy to be honest. Flirting or even being pretty forward is one thing, but I personally would be put off if a guy grabbed my bum. Anyway, I think you can safely assume that this guy is not the love of your life and there is no reason to keep letting him use you. Just ignore his next message and don't even humour him.
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    (Original post by NightPerson)
    Hi people
    Right males of this site (and women) I really need opinions on something that has been on my mind for months!

    I have recently joined the second year of college. In the first year I had a small group of friends (all different age ranges). There was this one guy that I kinda fancied but he was 11years older than me so I never perused it. Anyway, we flirted back and forth most of the time when we saw each other, and he always made me feel happy with who I was. We got on great.... Probably a little too good to be honest... And had really good banter!

    However, when it came to going into the second year, he decided he needed a job more than the course, and left. A few days before he left he pulled me aside and began seriously flirting... Even grabbed my ass a few times. Then for about a 2 months after college finished, we we in constant contact.

    This is the but I am confused on; he never wanted to meet up with me or our group of friends, texts became fewer and fewer, most of the time ignores me now and really only contacts when it's sexual. I know now that he was just using me for a bit of fun, in fine with that, Im not interested in a relationship. But (and I know this will sound weird) I need opinions on the subject from other people, people who are unbiased. I need to put this behind me. All opinions welcome!
    How old are you and him?.
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    (Original post by NightPerson)
    I know now that he was just using me for a bit of fun, in fine with that,
    What the f*ck (no pun intended)? Nah but seriously, forget about him because that is no reason to be 'fine'. Seriously, why would you be fine with such a thing? Sounds like BS to me.
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    (Original post by DolphinMan)
    How old are you and him?.
    Im 17..... He's 28
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    (Original post by NightPerson)
    Im 17..... He's 28
    Wow, that's some difference.
    And he is definitely a creep in my opinion for grabbing a 17 year old's bum, and sexting with her.

    And what on earth is he doing in college at that age?.
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    (Original post by LinzyLoo)
    I would seriously move on and forget about him. When I was 19 I was in a similar situation and looking back I see now that he was only interested in me for one reason. It sounds like you know this already, which is good. The fact that he didn't want to meet up and now only messages you when he's horny or fancies a flirt speaks volumes. I'm 28 now *sob* and have had sooo many guys do this exact thing to me. You sound less naive than I was, so go you!

    The grabbing your ass bit sounds kinda sleazy to be honest. Flirting or even being pretty forward is one thing, but I personally would be put off if a guy grabbed my bum. Anyway, I think you can safely assume that this guy is not the love of your life and there is no reason to keep letting him use you. Just ignore his next message and don't even humour him.
    Thankyou so much for the advice! it's good to know it's not out of the ordinary (I admit I was worried it would be classed as grooming). After humoring him a few times a got wise to what was going on so I dont bother now. And have to admit, the bum grabbing bit was a bit of a turn off lol
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    (Original post by DolphinMan)
    Wow, that's some difference.
    And he is definitely a creep in my opinion for grabbing a 17 year old's bum, and sexting with her.

    And what on earth is he doing in college at that age?.
    Have to admit it did cross my mind as a little weird. That's why when I got a crush on him, I dismissed it coz of the gap. And he wanted to change his career path I think
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    (Original post by NightPerson)
    Have to admit it did cross my mind as a little weird. That's why when I got a crush on him, I dismissed it coz of the gap. And he wanted to change his career path I think
    Where is he from?.
    And you?.
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    (Original post by DolphinMan)
    Where is he from?.
    And you?.
    both from the UK
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    (Original post by Kiritsugu)
    What the f*ck (no pun intended)? Nah but seriously, forget about him because that is no reason to be 'fine'. Seriously, why would you be fine with such a thing? Sounds like BS to me.
    hahaha good pun btw yeah have to admit its a bit of b.s. I'm not fine with it... but not much i can do now its in the past, just need you guys on here to confirm what I'd been thinking so I could move on from it all. I'm very much an over-thinker lol
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    (Original post by NightPerson)
    hahaha good pun btw yeah have to admit its a bit of b.s. I'm not fine with it... but not much i can do now its in the past, just need you guys on here to confirm what I'd been thinking so I could move on from it all. I'm very much an over-thinker lol
    Yes it is good to get ideas from other people too, but it also helps to be assertive and just have some common sense - a bit hypocritical coming from a person like me, but that's what I think. I'm glad you can get over that though.
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    (Original post by LinzyLoo)
    I would seriously move on and forget about him. When I was 19 I was in a similar situation and looking back I see now that he was only interested in me for one reason. It sounds like you know this already, which is good. The fact that he didn't want to meet up and now only messages you when he's horny or fancies a flirt speaks volumes. I'm 28 now *sob* and have had sooo many guys do this exact thing to me. You sound less naive than I was, so go you!

    The grabbing your ass bit sounds kinda sleazy to be honest. Flirting or even being pretty forward is one thing, but I personally would be put off if a guy grabbed my bum. Anyway, I think you can safely assume that this guy is not the love of your life and there is no reason to keep letting him use you. Just ignore his next message and don't even humour him.
    thankyou for your opinion it's good to know that its not out of the ordinary! it's not like i'm some "love-sick-kid" but it has been playing on my mind a lot because i never really knew where i stood or what to think. I am 17 so I'm reallly not looking for anything major but i certainly don't like being used it is difficult coz we were good friends for that time we spent in college. But seriously, thankyou for you viewpoint!

    and tbh... the bum grabbing did put me off a bit lol
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    (Original post by Kiritsugu)
    Yes it is good to get ideas from other people too, but it also helps to be assertive and just have some common sense - a bit hypocritical coming from a person like me, but that's what I think. I'm glad you can get over that though.
    don't be silly everyone is entiltled to an opinion, if that is yours then thats that! as for the common sense bit... I never really had a talent for it lol. I shall be fine, everyone on here has confirmed that im not crazy and am right with my thought pattern lol. Now i know, I can move on from it
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    (Original post by NightPerson)
    don't be silly everyone is entiltled to an opinion, if that is yours then thats that! as for the common sense bit... I never really had a talent for it lol. I shall be fine, everyone on here has confirmed that im not crazy and am right with my thought pattern lol. Now i know, I can move on from it
    It's obvious he was taking advantage of your innocence.
    You are 17 and innocent.
    As a guy I am saying that.
    I know how it works.
    I am 24 and will never take advantage of a young girl like that.
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    (Original post by DolphinMan)
    It's obvious he was taking advantage of your innocence.
    You are 17 and innocent.
    As a guy I am saying that.
    I know how it works.
    I am 24 and will never take advantage of a young girl like that.
    well its good to know that there are guys out there who are decent! i seem to have a beacon that only guys who will try an take advantage or have deep emotional problems can hear lol. Can i ask you something? is there anything, like lines or comments,i need to look out for to avoid this sort of thing?... kinda like the trade secrets lol
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    (Original post by NightPerson)
    well its good to know that there are guys out there who are decent! i seem to have a beacon that only guys who will try an take advantage or have deep emotional problems can hear lol. Can i ask you something? is there anything, like lines or comments,i need to look out for to avoid this sort of thing?... kinda like the trade secrets lol
    Well again I am not like that so I can't tell you the "secret of the trade".
    But gra bing your ass abd sexting you, and being 11 years older than you is a telltale sign of a creepy guy who only wants sex.
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    A 28 year old man groping the bum of a 17 year old girl in college....hmmm man if i was your dad that "man" would probably end up in the hospital.
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    (Original post by Zeus007)
    A 28 year old man groping the bum of a 17 year old girl in college....hmmm man if i was your dad that "man" would probably end up in the hospital.
    yeah hence why i havent told him or my older brothers.... its an idea tho lol
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    (Original post by DolphinMan)
    Well again I am not like that so I can't tell you the "secret of the trade".
    But gra bing your ass abd sexting you, and being 11 years older than you is a telltale sign of a creepy guy who only wants sex.
    that's fair enough again im glad there are guys like you, it's kind of a faith restorer!
 
 
 
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