HELP! Flat mates hate me, move back home or put up with it??

x

Long story short, my flat mates have 'fallen out' with me all over what something was said when drunk a few weeks ago.

I have 3 options:
1) Stay in the flat and put up with the talking behind my back and dirty looks (so childish i know)
2) Move to another flat within the same halls
3) Move back home

Staying in the flat i am in now would be easier just so i dont have to move all my things etc but it will be awkward. Moving flats will also be awkward as these people have lived together since september. Moving home would mean having to take a 45 min bus journey 4 days a week, which is a pain and also costs money on top of rent i would still be paying as i presume i would be unable to get out of my tenancy agreement?

WHAT SHOULD I DO?

Since it's managed to royally piss all of them off, I think it might be worth sharing what you actually said?

I would recommend apologising and just sticking it out, at the end of the day you were drunk, and they should grow up and put it in the past (Depending on what it is you actually said)

-AHappyTeddybear

Hi, that doesn't sound like a nice situation to be in, I'm assuming you have tried to apologise to them about what was said.
If you are willing to put up with the awkwardness, then I suggest just use your flat as a place to eat and sleep, spend the rest of your time with other course mates or join a society as well as do all your uni work and essay prep in the library. From the sounds of it, you live close to Uni, so you could always go home at weekends.
If you can't put up with the awkwardness, then moving flats could be an option and maybe you should enquire about that.

Long story short, my flat mates have 'fallen out' with me all over what something was said when drunk a few weeks ago.

I have 3 options:
1) Stay in the flat and put up with the talking behind my back and dirty looks (so childish i know)
2) Move to another flat within the same halls
3) Move back home

Staying in the flat i am in now would be easier just so i dont have to move all my things etc but it will be awkward. Moving flats will also be awkward as these people have lived together since september. Moving home would mean having to take a 45 min bus journey 4 days a week, which is a pain and also costs money on top of rent i would still be paying as i presume i would be unable to get out of my tenancy agreement?

WHAT SHOULD I DO?

How bad is what you said?
Moving to another flat same halls presupposes there is a spot available for you
Flat meeting and apology is probably the best choice. You might be able to get someone to take your room, but otherwise you it will cost you maybe £1-2k? v an apology? If its boys do it over a beer. Gauge if an apology would be acceptable from some of the more moderate flat residents.

I would apologies to the person you accused that night and settle your differences with her.

I'd also talk to the other tenant you know is having food taken and plot a way to catch them out. Between you, figure out what types of food the thief seems to like the most. Buy some laxatives or some seriously hot hot sauce. Mix this into the bait food (Which you know the thief likes) and wait for it to go missing. Whichever tenant ends up on the S***er with liquid ass or has a freak out because their mouth is on fire is your devious food thief.
(You could always go the easier route of trying to hide a camera, but I think my way is more fun)

Personally I would suspect that the person stealing is the person who put the blame on you since it sounds like they saw an opportunity and took it.

-AHappyTeddybear

I really dont think its bad what i said. Alls i said was that i think it could be this particular flat mate as food has gone missing when there has only been herself and me in the flat, so obviously it does look a little suspicious and coincidently its always before her boyfriend comes over and 2's of things go missing. And the fact my other flat mate saw her take something of hers and put it in her cupboard. That is literally all that was said.

I think your error was saying it without being sue of the reaction. If thats all it was then I would stay. I would do peace broking and then just ignore them if they wont accept it because its their problem. I think it would blow over. You know the dynamic of the flat I dont but better to find the moderates or any flat leader and suggest you go to the pub or have a flat meeting with some beer and pizza or cake to sort things out. That is preferable than forcing yourself to leave which is financially serious.

After that get a lock for your cupboard or keep things in a box in your room.

I do see how it could make the other person feel when others think it could potentially be them who is stealing, but it was also just an opinion between me and this other flatmate. We shouldn't have accused someone without first knowing 100% who it is but also i dont think this flatmate should have said anything and caused **** which has now just created drama over something minor.

I think its a good idea to have a flat meeting, but its whether or not they will agree to it!

Are you male or female? Whats the mix of the flat? How many and gender?

If you get 2or 3 onboard then have the meeting even if the others wont attend.

You can post an apology on the fridge or leave it in the communal area. Alternatively You can write each one a note. the point is make an effort that the moderates will recognise you are making an attempt to apologise. thats as much as you cam do plus beer or chocolate or cake etc (dont be stingy) from then on in your own mind move on.

An apology was made on the night to everyone that was there but since then she has blocked me off facebook and avoids me completely so its a little difficult to sit down and talk to her to sort things out.

I 100% will figure out a way to find out who it is

I am female and live with 4 other females.

I appreciate your advice/suggestions and will definintely be trying them. I just hope this all gets resolved as we all got on really well prior to this incident.