My friends are all ahead of me because they have bfs

Hi, I just need some advice because I'm not sure what to do. I'm finishing my masters degree and will be 23. Things have been going well in life for me so far except my love life which is a massive grey area. Basically I've never had a proper boyfriend whereas all my friends are in them. I used to be single alongside some friends but now they suddenly got boyfriends and I've realised that nothing is happening for me. Sadly people do prioritise their boyfriend so I'm planning to go on a holiday alone and I always seem them do things with partners, out for dinner, relaxing nights and holidays whereas I'm always cooking for one, sleeping in the middle of the double bed and I honestly just feel that nobody will enter my life. It does suck seeing everyone being wanted, why would I not be considered. Advice would be really helpful, I just feel behind because some of them will get engaged soon and some already have. Guys text me and within a month they are out of my life. Thanks for allowing me to rant!

Reply 1

PedanticStudent

13

Original post by jroo

Hi, I just need some advice because I'm not sure what to do. I'm finishing my masters degree and will be 23. Things have been going well in life for me so far except my love life which is a massive grey area. Basically I've never had a proper boyfriend whereas all my friends are in them. I used to be single alongside some friends but now they suddenly got boyfriends and I've realised that nothing is happening for me. Sadly people do prioritise their boyfriend so I'm planning to go on a holiday alone and I always seem them do things with partners, out for dinner, relaxing nights and holidays whereas I'm always cooking for one, sleeping in the middle of the double bed and I honestly just feel that nobody will enter my life. It does suck seeing everyone being wanted, why would I not be considered. Advice would be really helpful, I just feel behind because some of them will get engaged soon and some already have. Guys text me and within a month they are out of my life. Thanks for allowing me to rant!

Before I say anything else, what do you think they are doing that you aren't? Is there any particular difference that you have when compared to them? Do they put themselves "out there" a lot more?

Reply 2

jroo

OP

4

I know that they didn't think about it as much when single, but I'm a social butterfly and have a nice circle of friends. Nothing has come out of it, in fact guys still give my friends attention even though they're taken.. it's kind of embarrassing for me

Reply 3

Nunchuck-master-2334

20

I haven't got a GF, and I don't give a hoot!
Yeah sure it's a nice thing to have a relationship with someone, but I am 100% certain that you are way ahead of them, not they way you explained it.

Just don't worry.
You'll get a bf eventually.

Man I feel stupid talking about something I literally know nothing about.

Reply 4

PedanticStudent

13

Original post by jroo

I know that they didn't think about it as much when single, but I'm a social butterfly and have a nice circle of friends. Nothing has come out of it, in fact guys still give my friends attention even though they're taken.. it's kind of embarrassing for me

That's the crucial thing I think. By thinking about it you're likely subconsciously not being as relaxed about the whole thing and may be perceived as slightly desperate or lonely. Neither case is ideal. Give yourself as much exposure as you can. Meet new people, you say you have a "circle" of friends that I presume you have known for a moderate to long period. Maybe guys are actually attracted to you but many of them could be shy and not willing to approach you to ask, it could be that you behave in a way that makes you difficult to approach?. Maybe you could approach some? I know thats almost unheard of but...

Don't let it knock your confidence, a lot of people are career focused and cant be bothered with love life until after they are done with their studies. I anticipate that you will find success and are most definitely in a better position than a lot of people what with an established network of friends and presumably a social life? Its just about making the small changes and being more open. Meet as many people as you can like I say, the more you meet, the higher the chances you will find someone you can click with and really get on with. I sense that you're a girl with standards and values, so surely thats more important than the "hot boy" in the nightclub who is interested in only one thing.

(edited 6 years ago)

Reply 5

jroo

OP

4

Original post by PedanticStudent

That's the crucial thing I think. By thinking about it you're likely subconsciously not being as relaxed about the whole thing and may be perceived as slightly desperate or lonely. Neither case is ideal. Give yourself as much exposure as you can. Meet new people, you say you have a "circle" of friends that I presume you have known for a moderate to long period. Maybe guys are actually attracted to you but many of them could be shy and not willing to approach you to ask, it could be that you behave in a way that makes you difficult to approach?. Maybe you could approach some? I know thats almost unheard of but...

Don't let it knock your confidence, a lot of people are career focused and cant be bothered with love life until after they are done with their studies. I anticipate that you will find success and are most definitely in a better position than a lot of people what with an established network of friends and presumably a social life? Its just about making the small changes and being more open. Meet as many people as you can like I say, the more you meet, the higher the chances you will find someone you can click with and really get on with. I sense that you're a girl with standards and values, so surely thats more important than the "hot boy" in the nightclub who is interested in only one thing.

My best friend says that she thinks I am lonely because I talk about this situation a lot. It can just really knock you when you see your friends get love and attention. I know I'm more career focused than my friends, but tbh I don't have a choice... I'd be bored if I didn't.

I don't want guys who only want one thing, I'm not giving myself temporarily to someone. My friends and I make jokes on how single I am, but sometimes it can hurt. I went on a first date with a guy and I actually paid for it, so I just don't think guys value me.

Reply 6

Einsteinium*

12

Original post by jroo

Hi, I just need some advice because I'm not sure what to do. I'm finishing my masters degree and will be 23. Things have been going well in life for me so far except my love life which is a massive grey area. Basically I've never had a proper boyfriend whereas all my friends are in them. I used to be single alongside some friends but now they suddenly got boyfriends and I've realised that nothing is happening for me. Sadly people do prioritise their boyfriend so I'm planning to go on a holiday alone and I always seem them do things with partners, out for dinner, relaxing nights and holidays whereas I'm always cooking for one, sleeping in the middle of the double bed and I honestly just feel that nobody will enter my life. It does suck seeing everyone being wanted, why would I not be considered. Advice would be really helpful, I just feel behind because some of them will get engaged soon and some already have. Guys text me and within a month they are out of my life. Thanks for allowing me to rant!

In 5 billion, 600 million years from now, the sun's radius will expand rapidly - and the expansion will occur to such an extent that the sun will become 200 times larger than that of the sun in the 21st century. Every single thing, or being, that ever existed in our solar system, will be destroyed. There will be no trace that any species ever existed in our solar system (apart from any surviving interstellar transmissions and human spacecraft), and eventually, the remnants of our planet will be eaten by black holes. In short, nothing that humans ever accomplish will ever really matter - unless of course, we develop the ability to travel to other stars and their inhabitable planets, thus being able to survive as a species. Even then, however, we would still eventually die out - as would every other star in the universe. Red dwarf stars will live on the longest, but even they will die. Several hundreds of billions of years later, if there are still surviving sentient beings in the universe, they will become isolated from the observation of almost every other star that emits electromagnetic radiation - due to the accelerating effect of dark matter. After

1.3*10^100

years or so, almost nothing will exist. Only black holes will exist, with the exception of a few lone, elementary particles. After that, all black holes will evaporate due to hawking radiation. Nothing will exist, and the energy of the big bang will finally be returned.

Maybe I'm rambling, and maybe what I just typed is irrelevant to your situation (at least directly relative to you). But the point I'm trying to make, is that there are bigger, more important things in life than whether or not you are in a relationship or not - that is, if you "have a boyfriend" or not. I'm not being rude or anything, but instead of wishing you had a boyfriend, why not go out and do something? Try something new, find a new interest or passion. Embark on a journey of some sort. And who knows, maybe along the way, you might just find a "boyfriend".

Reply 7

PedanticStudent

13

Original post by jroo

My best friend says that she thinks I am lonely because I talk about this situation a lot. It can just really knock you when you see your friends get love and attention. I know I'm more career focused than my friends, but tbh I don't have a choice... I'd be bored if I didn't.

I don't want guys who only want one thing, I'm not giving myself temporarily to someone. My friends and I make jokes on how single I am, but sometimes it can hurt. I went on a first date with a guy and I actually paid for it, so I just don't think guys value me.

As the guy above has said, I must agree that by pursuing a range of interests and trying new things gives you the "exposure" I was talking about. You are very likely to find guys compatible with yourself along the way.

My friends are all ahead of me because they have bfs

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