bf snapped at me earlier

I have been with my bf for 6 months he is a bit of a bad guy and the trouble is he had a rape conviction a few years back which he served time for even though he has always said he was innocent and the girl made it up. Tonight he lost his temper at me because I was tired and wanted to go home and he flipped and grabbed me I managed to escape and get back home but now I am worried he has just texted to say he is really sorry and would never do that again but I dont know what to do, he has never done this before and has always been sweet to me and I do love him

Reply 1

eden3

19

Original post by Kelly Oran

he is a bit of a bad guy and the trouble is he had a rape conviction a few years

Original post by Kelly Oran

he flipped and grabbed me I managed to escape and get back home

Consider breaking up with him....

Reply 2

CaitlinSteph2000

3

No one should lay a hand on you, no matter who they are to you.
Not to be harsh, but this guy sounds awful: you shouldn't feel the need to have to run away from someone who is meant to care for you.
If youre not comfortable, then break up with him. Theres no real guarantee that he wont do this again, no matter how "sorry" he is.

Reply 3

shadowdweller

Volunteer Section Leader

21

If he's already lost his temper enough to grab you, and it scared you, I would really consider breaking up with him, especially given his past conviction; he wouldn't have served time for it if there wasn't strong belief he'd actually done it.

Reply 4

Kelly Oran

OP

yeah i am really not sure now I have doubts whether I forgive him for this

Reply 5

Einsteinium*

12

Original post by Kelly Oran

I have been with my bf for 6 months he is a bit of a bad guy and the trouble is he had a rape conviction a few years back which he served time for even though he has always said he was innocent and the girl made it up. Tonight he lost his temper at me because I was tired and wanted to go home and he flipped and grabbed me I managed to escape and get back home but now I am worried he has just texted to say he is really sorry and would never do that again but I dont know what to do, he has never done this before and has always been sweet to me and I do love him

It's most likely just me, but is this sort of behaviour, and also this sort of reaction to this behaviour, not just a little pointless? I really don't see the point in wasting your limited time on this planet with worrying about this sort of thing, and 'what it means', and whether or not 'you should break up with him because he didn't tell me about his female friend', and 'if he is safe to trust because I caught him texting his ex last night on snapchat'. It just gets a little bit silly, doesn't it? No?

Anyway, just accept the situation - that, from what you described, he was angry that you "wanted to go home" instead of doing whatever else it was that you two were doing. If you are genuinely concerned that you are in danger, then just 'break up with him and tell him you don't want to see him any more'. End of.

(edited 6 years ago)

Original post by Kelly Oran

I have been with my bf for 6 months he is a bit of a bad guy and the trouble is he had a rape conviction a few years back which he served time for even though he has always said he was innocent and the girl made it up. Tonight he lost his temper at me because I was tired and wanted to go home and he flipped and grabbed me I managed to escape and get back home but now I am worried he has just texted to say he is really sorry and would never do that again but I dont know what to do, he has never done this before and has always been sweet to me and I do love him

"A bit of a bad guy".... was convicted of rape??? Of course he's going to say the girl made it up, but as he was convicted and rape cases are very difficult to convict anyway, there must have been sufficient evidence that he did it.

And now he as lost his temper and manhandled you physically, just becuase you didnt want to go out. You shouldnt be anywhere near someone with such a thin skinned short temper. He isnt sweet. I know exactly how guys like him work. He is deceptive - not sweet. He is really sorry either

All in all he is a lirat with a short temper who has served time for rape. Therefore he is a moron, Im sorry but he is. If you have any sense you will break up with him asap before he actually hurts you or worse.

(edited 6 years ago)

Reply 7

Kelly Oran

OP

Thank you for the advice I have taken it on board, I have decided I will give him one more chance as he keeps saying he is really sorry

Reply 8

Zarek

21

Get rid. Too high risk.

Reply 9

Musicalsandglita

6

Get out whilst you can. Wrongly convicted for rape...hmm where there's smoke there's fire

Reply 10

Elastichedgehog

20

Original post by Kelly Oran

Thank you for the advice I have taken it on board, I have decided I will give him one more chance as he keeps saying he is really sorry

Please don't allow yourself to remain in an abusive relationship. If you ever feel unsafe, just leave.

Reply 11

DrSocSciences

19

There's give and take in all relationships, and things that you can compromise on. And things you can't.

He wasn't "really sorry" towards the victim of his rape conviction, and blamed her. Now he thinks that your tiredness and wish to go home are adequate cause to grab you. He's got a really distorted view of reality, and explains away his horrendous conduct as other people's fault. And he's practically unemployable, which will cause other stress down the line.

See him for what he is.

Render him OBSOLETE

I see only two options:

1. The easy one - break up with him
2. The difficult one - Talk him to go to a therapy, support and be there for him.

Reply 14

doodle_333

19

you're crazy if you stay with him

it's not easy to be convicted of rape, there would have been a lot of evidence... which means he's either lying or worse, he genuinely doesn't see what he did as rape (e.g. thinks she 'asked for it' or owed him sex in a relationship) and it hasn't taken him long to get violent with you (over very little)... there's no happy ending here

Reply 15

cheesecakelove

20

It is your choice to make, but considering the way he made you feel by snapping at you and the conviction, I would be wary of him. If his behaviour continues to get worse, you cannot keep giving him chances - you have to prioritise you and your safety and leave him.

Reply 16

phunky_fresh

14

Nah I wouldn't even go there.

bf snapped at me earlier

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