Some women are so shallow these days, no wonder guys use them

OK I'll expand a little.

It's like pulling teeth on online dating sites (which are microcosm of real life before you say meet someone in real life)

Bit let's take dating sites.

Forget the one that no one replies despite your numerous qualities.

Here are two examples:

A girl matches me on Tinder the chat is going well, she initially agrees to meet we have things in common blah blah. She insists she doesn't want sex, so I respect that being the nice guy I am. I try to woo her, nothing scheesy, nothing romantic or soppy - just getting to know her. She stops texting so I text her again and she says she's been busy or she forgot to reply (bear in mind there was a 2 day gap and things have to move fast or not at all). She then says we're not really a match, so I don't pursue it, I tell her she;s wasted both of our time, and she's now unmateched me (that's the rare ones that actually respond to the initial message on Tinder).

She was a pretty girl, she probably gets a lot of male attention. That's it really, that's all I can think of. But you can't just string guys along.

So that was that.

The second one you're not even going to believe.

A girl, disabled. I initially message her saying good luck , with an x, cos she seemed nice and obviously struggles more than the average person being wheelchair bound.

I then look at her profile. I think, she's disabled, that doesn't bother me, she seems intelligent and was quite pretty.

I message her again basically apologising for the abruptness of the previous message, and that I would be open to meet initially, but the relative distance was a barrier and I also implied that it might be difficult to have a physically intimate relationshio with someone who is disabled.

She replied:

" I never replied in the first place for a good reason"

Whatever the hell this could mean.

But at least I had the humility to message her and see past the fact that she was disabled. Cos that's what she wants right? She doesn't want judged on that basis.

I thought she was a very cheeky cow. Unless I somehow offended her some way, I can't think how.

Basically being a nice guy doesn't get you anywhere. Do girls just want treated like sluts (and some of them are that granted, some of them aren't)

o I just need to meet this girl that is in the minority that isn't so damn arrogant and shallow and vain?

Are guys like this too??

Thoughts, denizens of TSR.

I don't know why so many other replies are going too far in depth into areas that are irrelevant but I'll explain what has gone wrong here. First of all, Tinder (and most online dating websites) are not a good way to find a good partner who believes in having a proper relationship. Not only do these websites discriminate against those who aren't as good looking, but they attract both men and women who are looking for easy sex or who don't know what they want. Secondly, the girl wasn't stringing you along, she wasn't interested in the first place but didn't have the guts to tell you to, in short, to "f*ck off". Most women avoid confrontation whenever possible whereas men sort out their issues as soon as possible because they don't want to pussy foot around the subject.

The second girl took the messages as an offense. It's not personally your fault, but because of how online messaging takes the tone and implication out of what we say we can misinterpret it. The second girl probably thought that the first message was a cruel joke, while the second message most likely offended her personally. No one likes to be reminded of what their disability has prevented them from doing, especially if it's having children for a woman. I don't know if you intended to sound sincere but it's difficult to do that online without coming across as arrogant or sarcastic.

Ultimately, some bits here and there were not your fault, but I would up your etiquette when it comes to talking with women. If you want to know if it's your personality that needs to be worked on rather than whoever you want to date, I would try dating in real life. It's much better than dating online since you are meeting them face to face AND you have to approach them in real life in the first place to ask them out, so it helps with confidence as well.

I call a spade a spade.

If you're not interested don't swipe right, text for 4 days solid and agree to meet and then go cold that's called a head **** and guys larch on to these types of girls, they're easy game (or maybe not cos a lot of them are very good at putting on a front)

I hate this whole 'nice guy' mentality that loads of guys have got nowadays. It's so annoying. You just think because you send a 'nice' message, you're entitled to something, then if a girl rejects you, you just ***** about it online!!(like you're doing right now)

Omg I really want to say something to u and others but I would totally get banned smh

OK I'll expand a little.

It's like pulling teeth on online dating sites (which are microcosm of real life before you say meet someone in real life)

Bit let's take dating sites.

Forget the one that no one replies despite your numerous qualities.

Here are two examples:

A girl matches me on Tinder the chat is going well, she initially agrees to meet we have things in common blah blah. She insists she doesn't want sex, so I respect that being the nice guy I am. I try to woo her, nothing scheesy, nothing romantic or soppy - just getting to know her. She stops texting so I text her again and she says she's been busy or she forgot to reply (bear in mind there was a 2 day gap and things have to move fast or not at all). She then says we're not really a match, so I don't pursue it, I tell her she;s wasted both of our time, and she's now unmateched me (that's the rare ones that actually respond to the initial message on Tinder).

She was a pretty girl, she probably gets a lot of male attention. That's it really, that's all I can think of. But you can't just string guys along.

So that was that.

The second one you're not even going to believe.

A girl, disabled. I initially message her saying good luck , with an x, cos she seemed nice and obviously struggles more than the average person being wheelchair bound.

I then look at her profile. I think, she's disabled, that doesn't bother me, she seems intelligent and was quite pretty.

I message her again basically apologising for the abruptness of the previous message, and that I would be open to meet initially, but the relative distance was a barrier and I also implied that it might be difficult to have a physically intimate relationshio with someone who is disabled.

She replied:

" I never replied in the first place for a good reason"

Whatever the hell this could mean.

But at least I had the humility to message her and see past the fact that she was disabled. Cos that's what she wants right? She doesn't want judged on that basis.

I thought she was a very cheeky cow. Unless I somehow offended her some way, I can't think how.

Basically being a nice guy doesn't get you anywhere. Do girls just want treated like sluts (and some of them are that granted, some of them aren't)

o I just need to meet this girl that is in the minority that isn't so damn arrogant and shallow and vain?

Are guys like this too??

Thoughts, denizens of TSR.

But we value your presence on TSR. So don't.

So what do they want? A sexual first message is obviously generally froned upon, if you reference their profile, even be a bit flirty but not overly, (more cheeky) whatever approach you take it doesn't work. I'm not messaging 10/10 women, I'm not shooting too high - nothing. God forbid the woman ever messages first. Basically it's not a level playing field, theres actually research into dating (it might even be online dating) that a lot of women are picky to the point of picking no one which kinda defeats the object I think.

So what do they want? A sexual first message is obviously generally froned upon, if you reference their profile, even be a bit flirty but not overly, (more cheeky) whatever approach you take it doesn't work. I'm not messaging 10/10 women, I'm not shooting too high - nothing. God forbid the woman ever messages first. Basically it's not a level playing field, theres actually research into dating (it might even be online dating) that a lot of women are picky to the point of picking no one which kinda defeats the object I think.

you've made a series of error's

1. Persisting in throwing all your eggs in one basket year after year and using online dating as your primary method to find a woman when you are not 8+ or close.

2. Assuming that the disabled girl would be grateful for a bit of attention and assuming she had a low market value. Rookie mistake, ..and tbh most people would assume the same thing about her had they not done/seen online experiments with disabled females. Let me tell you, they are getting plenty of messages ..and many of the guys messaging them are good looking.

3. Under-estimating male thirst on these websites.
males will literally go for ANYTHING that vaguely resembles a female on those sites. NO GIRL is too ugly, or too disabled. In fact the more extreme the disability the more messages she gets because men think they are clever and think other men won't go for her, so message her thinking it's an easy lay and she will be grateful ...but what they don't realise is literally every other male in a 50 mile radius thinks he clever too and has the same idea ...so what you get is a woman with an extreme physical disability start getting as much attention online as a 7/10 or 8/10 girl ...purely because so much males think they have spotted a market inefficiency and are looking to exploit it. and No I am not making that up, I have actually seen a girl with a physical disability so severe you'd wonder if she could ever get a bf ..get SWAMPED with messages from guys online ..to the extent she was as popular as a 7/10 to 8/10

4. Holding onto hope about girls actually caring about personality.
No, they don't care, I don't care if they say they care ..because time and time and again the evidence shows that they don't. They don't care that you're a nice guy either or you'd have done better on there.

My suggestions to you are to stop making excuses about why you can't talk to women in real life and actually start doing something in real life to meet women ...otherwise you're just going to end up alone ...as online dating is becoming more and more competitive by the day....