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Stepdad Doesn't Want Me In My Mums' House

So my Mum and Stepdad have been living together since 2012, but only today he turned on myself and my Mum.
He was saying we annoy him by giving him nicknames, joking around and playing with him (fair enough.)
So we said we would knock that off, but he then went on about how he felt like a lodger in my Mums home and she always decides when it's okay when I come round.
Which I think is a bit unfair seeing as my Mum bought her property quite a few years before he moved in and I'm her daughter-so surely she should decide when I stay?
Currently, I am at Uni and I don't come home that often, not even for the summer...Therefore I thought I had made it pretty easy for them and they got space.
My stepdad also said he doesn't want me moving back with them after uni finishes, but like most students I am pretty short of money and moving back with parents usually seems to be most people's option whether they want to or not.

My stepdad's Mum passed recently, so I get that he's still upset and needs space but I think by talking to my Mum like that in her own property he's been slightly unreasonable?
Before coming to live with us he was in a depressing bedsit, living in a not so nice area and he didn't work.
But since living with my Mum, he's got a nice furnished house, it's just the two of them and he's got a job.
It's long hours, not well paid and I think that could be part of the problem?
Plus my Mum doesn't work, he pays the bills and maybe thinks my Mum lives off him too much?

I live in a bedsit 65 miles away with a mean landlady who treats me like a live-in slave, so I feel I occasionally deserve a break and to not be so lonely.
So I can emphasise with how he lived beforehand and I would give anything to permanently live in a nice, clean house with someone I loved.
Does anyone have any advice on how our situation could improve?

I think this does come with having divorced parents and my Stepdad doesn't have kids, so he doesn't understand.
However, surely you just have to put up with the way other people live if you move into their house and they have excess baggage from a previous marriage?

Reply 1

Imstudying...

I think it would be best for you to not to live with them. From my personal experience, step dads are horrible and would never see you as their child. Since you are pretty adult now, it would be best to just have your own place. I am almost certain, from what you said, your stepdad will make your life miserable if you moved in and will never stop moaning bout u being too lazy to get your own place till the day you move out. My stepdad hated me so much even when I had done nothing wrong. I don’t believe nice step dads actually exists in this world.
Since your mum doesn’t work, I don’t think they will separate anytime soon. Ur mum isn’t financially independent hence she will not be able to help you with this.

Reply 2

bones-mccoy

It's your mum's house so she should get to decide when you can stay, you're not even there for the majority of the year so it's not like you're constantly getting under their feet