How do I help my mum?

She's in an unhealthy relationship with my stepdad. They both work full time, maybe more, and yet when they come home, she does 90% of the chores. (Of course I help her a lot though). I have talked to her about this before but amongst other things, she said she doesn't want the drama of constantly having to ask him to do things. She has also asked me not to cause drama about this. However, since moderately recently, she is in a lot of physical pain 24/7 from overworking her body (they both do difficult physical jobs). And yet? He doesn't seem to care. Actually, I even caught a conversation where he was asking her to iron his shirts for him because he "doesn't know how". She said she won't because obviously her arms and shoulders hurt so much that she can't. His response? Along the lines of; well if she wants him to look good, then they need to be ironed.
Thankfully, she stood her ground. But I am so angry. I don't know what to do, it kills me to see her being taken advantage of by the very person who's supposed to be there for her and be her partner. I hate him at this point from how he uses my mum and acts like a manchild.

Please advise me on actions to take, I don't know what to do and I feel helpless, and I don't want to hear "don't do anything". Tell me, if the person you loved most in the world was drowning, would you let nature take its course?
Of course, I want nothing more than to scream into his face, but I have to be an adult about this. Another note, breaking them up is not going to happen.

Reply 1

unknownforever

I understand where you come from and everything! Similar sort of situations at my house..It's difficult to see when your mum is struggling and the dad isn't helping or pulling his weight.
I think the only bit in your control is just letting your mum know your there for her. How your dadacts is not in your Control, I'm afraid. If you felt comfortable you could speak to dad? But be mature there's no point screaming to him and him screaming at you you won't get anywhere and just cause more upset.
Also. Why does your dad not pull his weight L? Sometimes there's a legitimate reason not sure whether theats the case in your situation?