Is it normal that I'm 21 and have never had a boyfriend?

Long story short: I'm a 21 year old girl who's never had a boyfriend.

I've struggled with mental health issues since I was 9/10 and they got bad to the point where I moved schools and then dropped out of education as soon as I could. I then picked my education back up but I still to this present day struggle mentally.

I don't really have any friends because I isolated myself, mainly because I didn't want to subject people to my mental health issues. I barely go out and I chat to some people online but they live around the world and I communicate better via internet then real life I guess.

I've had some guys message me on Instagram before and ask me out which fills me with a horrible anxious feeling because I don't know them and none of them have been my type.

I worry - am I too picky? am I ugly? or have I only just sat down and thought about my love life? most of my young years that were supposed to be spent having fun were filled with me suffering with anxiety and depression and a time of my life where I nearly died.

And, is it normal that I've never had a boyfriend? or even been kissed.

I guess I'm just asking this for some comfort. I feel abnormal considering I'm 21 and have never had a boyfriend but I don't even know if I'm ready right now, I feel like I want one just to reassure myself that someone could love me and that I'm not completely ugly.

Reply 1

ThomH97

It is normal for someone who shields themselves from society to have never had a romantic relationship. But it is not normal for someone to shield themselves from society to the extent that you describe. I don't want to advise you on your mental health issues, but if you do want a romantic relationship, that is going to involve meeting people in person. And that's going to need practise. Join a club or something that you can do 'with' people but not need to talk, at first. Hopefully that's a good first step, and will have other benefits too :smile: